Shall we dance?

Exams are finally over and I am death tired. I think I passed two or three out of five. The one I had yesterday was really crappy. I couldn't help but mixing up all the legal terms. It was really hard and the professor enjoyed torturing me with those horrible questions. She smelled blood and came to get her prey. Too bad it was a she and not a he. Two years ago I had this male professor who was just staring at my boobs the whole time. I think I've told you already about this in one of my first posts on this blog. He gave me a 16 I believe. So now I know how much my boobies are rated, a 16. But back then I didn't wore push ups, so maybe now they are worth a 18? Ha! Just tripping. I rather fail an exam than earning the marks with my boobs.

Been watching Save the Last Dance some days ago. It was either that one or Sometimes In April, and because I was already depressed enough, I wisely choose not to watch Sometimes In April. But back to Save the Last Dance. Wish I could dance like Sara (Julia Styles). Not to mention Derek (Sean Patrick Thomas). Now see this guy is just cute as hell. Not cute as in sexy, but cute as in wish-I-could-pinch-those-cheeks cute. You have guys that are cute and f*ckable, and others are absolutely not bed material because they are just too innocent looking. I think the Sean Patrick Thomas thing is mainly caused by the role of Temple Page role he used to play in The District. He played this devoted Christian guy while his partner was this woman craving detective. I do miss it. While everybody loved NYPD Blue, I was into The District.

But enough about that, for those who saw Save the Last Dance, do you remember that scene in the movie where Sara and Derek where on the tram to the Chicago ballet? The white lady who couldn't see them together? Sometimes you wonder if there are still people like that. Yes there are and I received the prove today. There was this Australian dickhead who sent this to me through Facebook: your parents must be proud a millenia of proud white heritage and now your a whore for third world negroes. What the fuck, get a life man. If you don't like interracial relationships, then that is your problem, but don't send racist comments to random people. If he said this to my face, he would have to search his fucking teeth on the damn floor!

Talking about Facebook, someone logged into my account. Lord knows how he/she had the password. I changed it now, but I'm sure the person who retrieved it earlier will also be able to retrieve this one eventually. I have no idea why someone would be interested in my profile. I mean it's not like I am this very interesting profile and interesting messages in my inbox. I'm even something like boring and absolutely not interesting.

Bloody Friday

Today, some sick twenty year old man caused a massacre in a day care center, stabbing thirteen people. Two children and one adult already died and ten other children are in the hospital. It is rumored that one of those children in the hospital has lost the battle, making the total deaths four. What came into the mind of this fool is not yet known because he refuses any co-operation with the police. No one here can understand why someone would go and stab little children, some whom not older than 6 months. It is inhuman and one can only wonder why this person was still walking around and not locked up in a mental institution.

I've always been this optimistic person, full of joyfulness and happiness. But that joyfulness has turned into bitter determination. Determined to hang on to that person that belongs to me. That bitter determination to fight for he who is destined to share his life with me. Happiness doesn't come for free and something is only worth it when you have to fight for it. This is not about him, this is not about others, this is my battle. I'm not going to let destiny walk by, I am going to bite myself into that destiny like only a Pitbull can and I will not give in on destiny this time. There is this big, black and empty hole where my heart used to be. That hole is filled with pain and self pity. Self pity because I want happiness and because I deserve to have him close. I'm a good girl and I deserve to have some luck this time. But that self pity won't help us in any way. The only thing that can be done is continue the battle. Building upon the work I did in the past months, continue to build right now and in the future, whether that be far or near, I will get what I deserve. I will embrace destiny and there in nothing that can stop me from fulfilling that what I am destined to fulfill. I swear, in front of God and the whole blog world, I will fulfill my own destiny. Nothing comes in easy and I accept this hard and long battle. Rome wasn't build in one day, and it survived the hands of time. So will I and my destiny survive this long battle. My love is too strong to let go, so help me God, help me to succeed and guide me on this long journey. The pain is real and deep, but giving up is and will never be an option. Hold on to the one you love and never give up on something you truly believe in. Like I said before, it is no one else battle, not even his battle, this is my own battle for something that is right. It is just me, myself and I and that is all there is to it.

Nkunda is arrested in Rwanda. That this has happened is kind of strange. It is known that Kigali supported the troops of Nkunda in the past. But the last months Nkunda turned in a warrior. Instead of assuring the Rwandan interests in the trade around the Kivu area, he became this crazy landlord who had other interests than the task Kigali gave him. Will this bring peace? Most likely not. The Kivu area is "rich" and there will probably another person waiting to take his chance... Kinshasa also wants to work together with the Rwandan government to disarm the FDLR, which is something like a mission impossible because the FDLR lives deep in the country and already mixed with the original Congolese people. In the end, this is just another reason to start the same war over and over: a fight over the rich soil...

The golden boot

I do wonder if breathing is an actual requirement in order to stay alive because every time I inhale, my chest hurts! I am very surprised I did not yet cough my lungs out by now. You can compare me to those small white Maltese dogs, that bark all the time. I am like that too right now. Coughing 24/7, even I get annoyed by it myself. I am even forced to drink this yummy syrup (mind the sarcasm) that makes my stomach function not so normal... Also my taste is still kind of messed up. No not my taste in men because that is still high quality (kidding of course) but my actual taste. It's been three days in a row that I am eating my eggy bread. Now I know that so many eggs in one week are not healthy at all, but what am I supposed to do? I mean nothing tastes good. The sesame baguettes I normally adore tasted all bitter and gross that I had serious problems swallowing it. Strawberry jam didn't taste like strawberry but more like a lemon, fish tasted like garbage and so on...


I think I had the best laugh in a very long time this evening. I've been warned by someone I knew that I had to watch "the golden boot" on television. At first I was wondering why that person advised me to watch a gala for the best soccer player of the year... But the curiosity got the best of me so I watched it. I did not regret it at all! Thanks to my connections I knew something was happening, knowing little Jos a bit I could expect something dared, but this, no way! This is the reason why I had to watch:

I got to give props to him for doing this. I mean, he is not a professional singer and yet he had the guts to get on that stage and do his thing. Not many people know this, but when he is free on Sunday, he sings for a gospel church somewhere in Brussels, or at least that is what he used to do when he still played for Charleroi. Not the next Paul Okoye, but not so bad right? Lolu won't agree with me on this one though, but Jos is cuter than Paul! He was nice dressed too. The shirt made has arms look nicely muscled. Oh boy, not to mention the ass... Ha, enough about this or someone gets really jealous...

I just had my worst exam ever today. This professor is the biggest jerk ever. No this is not a mad student reacting against her teacher, but I can really strangle him like Homer strangles Bart! I was having my exam when he started eating his apple. He stopped biting, looked at me and asked: "If this apple causes a food poisoning, who can I hold responsible?". I wanted to answer: "Yourself because in first order, a normal and careful person always washes the apple because he/she knows it is sprayed with pesticides. In second order are you still responsible because an apple that is showing marks both on and also already under the peel is not safe to eat any longer". Well because this probably would have gotten me a zero, so just to hide that I didn't have any idea, I just answered "the store where you bought it" and I was allowed to leave...

January 17th 2009

Light headed whenever I raise my head up, feeling shivers all over my body while I am boiling inside and cherry red cheeks. Head feels like it has been stuck under the train. All of the sudden I realized it: I am in...fected by the damn flu. Yesterday around 2 pm, I started having this serious head ache. Initially I thought it was due to a lack of sleep, so I went to take a nap. But around 8 pm, I started feeling cold while it was fairly warm inside the house. Then I knew I had the damn flu. I barely slept last night because every move made me feel more nauseas. My neck is all blocked and I could use a massage. It got so bad that at a certain time, I couldn't even open my eyes or the head ache would get unbearable. Now it is slightly better, yet the smallest sound causes pains, even the tip-taping of my keyboard. So my apologies to Lolu for not picking up my phone. I saw it ringing but my head didn't allow me to pick up. I will surely give you a scream when I am feeling better.

Did anyone see the images about the plane ending up in the Hudson river? The pilot did a great job because doing heroic things like in New York with its skyscrapers, is not easy at all. But this is yet another reason for me to stay out of a plane for the next 10 years. I think after 9/11, the plane crashes (including the one in Belgium last year) and now this, I prefer not to fly too high... I know that the plane is one of the safest way to transport yourself, much safer than a car, but yet you feel much more helpless when you are in a plane. Or at least that is how it feels psychologically. When you drive a car, you feel like you are in control of it but often this is just a fake thought because no matter how careful you are, (fatal) accidents happen very often.

I heard Bush' last speech yesterday. That guy is really full of himself, now isn't he? His war on terror as prevention for a new terroristic attack... Please that is the biggest sophism ever! Or that the United States are the only country that can bring world piece and spread democracy like they did in Iraq. Or Bush who claims he handled the economical crisis very well... I could continue like this for days. What is sure is that Bush won't let the public, the media or anyone else but himself decide whether his 8 year rule was successful or not. Thank the lord it is all over now! Yet I feel the whole Obama-mania is somehow getting out of proportion. Don't get me wrong because I am happy he will be the next president, but somehow people seem to forget he is the president of America and not of the whole world. Yes he will bring change, but mostly change for the Americans. He won't be able to change the world policies and he will still think first about the American interests when he acts. Obviously less than self-centered Bush... So yes people can identify themselves them with Obama until a certain level, but expressions like "MY president is black" or saying that you can only understand this while you are "truly American and black, like himself" when you aren't American, or never even been to America and have no connection with America whatsoever is in my humble opinion a little bit exaggerated. I'm sure many people will shoot me, go ahead, just my two cents...

Currently, I feel like Akon's second hit single, lonely. Being sentenced to bed rest isn't fun, especially when the person you want to be with is not there to keep you company (whether online or in person). It makes a girl sulk and even feel neglected. lol Yes our female creatures feel abandoned and neglected when we don't get enough attention when we need it most.

The roof is on fire!

I don't want to offend blond girls, but are they really that stupid? Today we had an exam when all of the sudden the fire alarm went off. The blond assistant who had to "watch us" was like: "normally we should all go outside, but let's all sit down so we can wait and see what the people in the other room will do". I already finished my exam and was just re-reading it so I was like here you go and see you later, handed in my paper and safely left the building. Was there a real fire? Don't know, probably not because I am sure that if the university was indeed on fire, it would have been on the news. But still, what if there was a real fire in the central hall? We were cellar and there were only two ways up, one at each side of a central hall. She seemed more worried about the exam papers than about us pupils...

Under the motto "make a fool out of yourself", let us watch to our new President State of the European Union, Czechia. To celebrate that Presidency, they ordered this sort of painting. It was supposed to be a painting made by 27 artists, one artist for each European Union country. Turns out the artists who were mentioned did not excist and were just a cover up for Cerny, the one (and only) artist. Belgium was portrayed by a chocolate box and waffle, while Bulgaria was the toilet of Turkey. Can Europe laugh with themselves? Will they accept this political satire? I highly doubt it.

It is proven that Belgium is and never will be the best student of the class. Some days ago our Assisen procedure was found incompatible with article 6 of the Convention for the Protection of Human Rights and Fundamental Freedoms (fair trial). This because our jury in Assisen doesn't have to explain why they decided that a person is found guilty. But if you look closer at the judgment, you can see that the ECHR had problems with the fact that, in this case, the jury only had to answer 4 questions. If they had to answer for example 20 questions, could this be considered as some sort of explanation? But this judgment could have serious consequences for previous cases. Some "killers" were also sent to jail based on only 4 or 5 questions. Luckily there are plans to reform the procedure.

I was browsing through this concert guide and saw that Ne-Yo was performing in Antwerp the ... 26th... Now this sucks because the next day I have my last exam. I know my mom so asking if I could go anyway would be useless since I know she would slap some sense in my head. Better luck next time I guess... It's not that I am a huge Ne-Yo fan but the guy has some good songs once in a while.

Verloren Maandag

Mom asked me to tape some program for her, but I forgot which one though. I will have to browse through the TV-guide and see what she would most likely watch. Anyway, the reason why I am telling you this is because I needed a tape to record it on. So I was FWD'ing through some old long forgotten tapes when I bumped into this episode of Telefacts. It is a Belgian program that bring reportages about different subjects and this episode was about submissive wifes.

There were three American wifes who voluntarily behaved like the "classic household pattern": the man is the boss and the wife is the... let me look at it from a feminist point of view... the slave. They could only speak when they are spoken to, the man writes her a to-do list before going to work, he chooses her clothes and basically decides everything like... a dictator.

I'll be honest here, I could and would never be like them. Women have been held down for ages and my ancestors have battled for equality. I will never let that battle become useless, I will never let anyone tell me what I should or shouldn't do (besides my parents) because I have a mind of my own. I can make my own decisions and I do not need a man to gain control over my life and turn my life into his life. I'm not a puppet who's strings you can pull whenever you like.

My relationship standards are obviously different from theirs. What I want is a man who respects me and doesn't consider the "classic role patterns" as normal at all. Let me explain myself better. Rule number one: in a relationship you make joined decisions. I need a guy who would ask "Hey, what do you think of this?", instead of a guy who is like "This is what I want and that is also how it is going to be". Rule number two: I don't like cleaning neither so either we hire someone who does the cleaning or you could help a hand. My dad does it and he survived it, so can you. Rule number three: I will not become a housewife. See I am working my ass off in university to get that law degree, so don't expect me to do nothing with it later.

And now I am going to have dinner! It's Verloren Maandag today and then it is always a tradition to eat Worstenbrood. That is something made of puff pastry and a Currywurst. Yam yam!

Let bygones be bygones

I received this strange look today when someone asked me who Lolu was. I answered that she was my sister and they looked at me like I was some kind of fool. But she is! Don't be fooled by our skin colors! In our heart, we are sisters. She knows all my secrets and she is the first one I'll be running to when I have problems only girls would understand. I love my sweetie pie as much as I love candy. LOL!

Was browsing through my external hard drive, looking for this one document I needed to print when I bumped into this poem/song I wrote a long time ago. Lolu, I am sure you must know the one I'm talking about! It was the confessions of a vixen one. Remember when you joked that we should record it and let him listen to it? Ha! It's funny to read it now, almost 1 year later. We definitely shared some laughter because of it. No, I won't post it on here, as a matter of fact, I will delete it now. It is in the past and there are no feelings left. Let bygones be bygones.

I've been shopping with my mom yesterday. A whole day with my mom and I survived it! She bought me a jeans (dark washed blue with fairly slim legs) and a long blue Ralp Lauren sweater. She still promised me a new hand bad because the one I am using now has had its best time, but we lacked time yesterday. It was already 18.00 hours when we left Wellens. So maybe next weekend or Friday after my exam.

Sentenced to jail

RFI - Thursday January 8th, 2009

I’m a child of the modern West. Some may even call me morally disturbed and my je m’en foutisme about the classic society standards can be found very shocking. But that is just who I am and for those who don’t like it, too bad…

Let me start the shocking entry by saying that homosexuality is absolutely no world shocking event. More so, I consider it just as normal as a straight relationship. I do not see why it would be rated less or have less chance to succeed. Some even claim that different sex relationships are the only ones that bring real happiness.

What are the reasons why some people act so homophobic? Well from my own experiences, there are a few obvious excuses.

The first I’ve heard was that it was gross. They find the idea of two men/women making love dirty and disturbing. But many men who say they would kill the gay guy if one ever seduces them, are often the same ones who drool over female on female action. Or the ones that say the ass is exit only are the ones to beg for some back door action. Let’s call the first argument hypocrisy.

Second one must be the society excuse. The society is made for a man and a woman to live together and not two men/women. Guess what, society is changing in every possible way and the change has been going on for many decades already. Back in the old times people married for the sake of property. Later they married for love and there were even interracial marriages. Society changes stop holding onto the past like it is holy.

Many countries have probated homosexuality by law. Too bad the human rights often stay just a piece of paper. Not only in the African continent or Islamic countries, but also in the self-proclaimed most powerful country in the world, the United States of America. Take the State California that voted in favor of proposition 8 that banned same sex weddings.

Another argument is that sex is for reproduction purposes only and that same sex couples will not be able have children in a natural way so it should not be allowed. So how about the women taking birth control?

The most convincing excuse so far is religion. Now this is the only thing all religions agree on: homosexuality is a threat. What I don’t get is this: religion is all about peace, happiness and caring about each other, or so I have been told since I am a non-believer. Then how can something that preaches about those things deny happiness to a category of human beings just because their love is not approved by a book? Yes, a book because that is still what the Bible or Quran is. It is a book of stories written by people for people.

So whatever your excuse may be, do not deny people their shot at love!

Veni, vidi, vici

I will be regretting this tonight, but I could not master myself... Yes, I will regret it. Ha, now most of you all will have this strange and possibly even perverse thoughts about what I did wrong just a second ago! Well let me tell you, I made myself this baguette Martino. Imagine this fresh straight out the oven baguette with filet américain, gherkin, silver onions, pili-pili, Tabasco and mustard. I'm not really a meat eater, but I always enjoy putting my teeth in something like that! But since it was already 0:30 am, I will surely get stomach aches. Being home alone at night is dangerous for me because then there is no one to prevent me from opening the fridge.

Ever had this thing that no matter how hard you tried to stay awake, your eyes just get so heavy that the only thing you can do is give up and go to bed again? That is what I felt today. I couldn't keep my eyes open. It started yesterday night. At 2 am I was already fighting the closing eyes and I list that battle after some blinks. When I woke up, it was already 5 am. I switched off my laptop who was still playing music next to me on my large bed and went to sleep again. At 11.30 my mom started yelling at the door that it was brunch time. I got up and after 20 minutes I was back in bed. I tried to stay awake, focusing on my computer screen, but it didn't do any good. I barely woke up, only few times when I got thirsty. I know it is a bad habit to sleep with the laptop next to me!

I was looking to all this New Year's eve pictures from friends on Facebook and sometimes it makes me look like one hell of a boring person. Everyone was out partying and getting totally wasted while I was inside having a wonderfully tasty dinner with my parents, watching a move and studying a bit. Didn't even drink a single drop of alcohol because it was red wine and I only like white wine. But for real, am I boring because I don't like going to dancings or something? I really don't like it. Crowdy places where people step on each other's feet, way too loud music that almost causes permanent deafness and makes any normal conversation impossible, the smoking that makes my eyes red and teary and the drunk people who make a dumb ass fool out of themselves. I don't know, but somehow I prefer boring old me... Just my two cents.

I had my first exam yesterday. That guy kept on asking questions just so you would say two contradictorily things! Plus he started already one and a half hour too late. I hate it when they have the ego to point us that we should be on time but then he starts too late himself... It bugs me to the fullest. That is my European side. Time is money and 14h30 is 14h30 and not 16h00. Next one is Friday, as long as I don't break a leg with all this snow! It was -16,5°C (3,2 F) last night!

Sugar who?

Christmas and New Year are finally over. Back to my quiet old life with normal food instead of those large meals with a lot of oils and sugars. My stomach isn't used to that any longer because I have this unhealthy habit of only eating once a day. So now I all of the sudden my stomach had to absorb it all... Believe me, I had moments I felt so nauseas and couldn't even smell food anymore without turning green!

Today I had to go to Antwerp town to wire some money through MoneyGram. I was already fearing this long like like the last time so I went early, otherwise the money might not arrive on time. Arriving there around 10.30 AM, I was shocked! The whole office was empty! Guess no one likes to wake up early... This doesn't mean that from now on I will wake up early though. I need my beauty sleep in the morning/forenoon. lol

Afterwards I hollered at this Nigerian guy who used to work for the Belgian internal affairs and often translates for them. He is also one of the influential men from the African community in both Antwerp and Brussels. I knew he could help me clarify many aspects about the real deal behind visa applications. So far I only heard few stories from a couple of friends (who successfully passed the procedure) and I wanted to hear the other side too. I must say it didn't disappoint me as much as I thought it would. He made it clear that it might be a hard fight, but most certainly not a lost fight.

He also introduced me to this guy who turns out the be the European Boxing Champion. Never heard of him and that worked on the laughter of many people because he is something like Antwerp's protégé. His name is Sugar Jackson (who calls his son Sugar???) and apart from the boxer's nose, he didn't even look like a boxer. I would imagine boxers being this tall and muscled guys like Muhammad Ali in his glory days, but nothing special about this guy... Wouldn't even look at him if he passed me on the street.

Talking about looking at guys on the street, I don't do that any longer! Before I knew Sheriff, friends and I were often rating the people (both male and female) that passed our path on the street, but since I'm with my hubby I'm always with my head somewhere up in the sky. So far the distraction has not yet caused accidents (like walking against a door) but I'm tempting the odds for over 5 months already so I have the feeling it might happen sooner or later. Well a huge bump on my forehead has its charms too, right?

I love going to university and all but once a year I can say it sucks. We have exams this January and you never guess when reduction month starts... Yes you guessed it correctly: January. So this means I can't go shopping and I need now clothes! I barely have clothes to pass the week. In total I have 3 hoodies and one sweater for the winter and that is it. So suppose we end up without electricity or no washing machine during the weekend, I will have to go to school in my bra the next week... And that is meant for Sheriff's eyes only!

I'm hungry so blog later!