Friday, September 19, 2008

Don't mistake love

For a short while, I've been having deep feelings for someone. I never thought I could ever care that much for a person as I care about him. I keep thinking about him and even though he is far away, I love him to death and no one can ever change that.

When I read an article about him, my whole life turned upside down. I think I already told you about that in one of my previous posts. At that moment I realised how much I cared about him already. It was creepy but yet I refused to fight it because I knew that it felt right. That this was meant to happen.

Today he read my blog for the first time and he asked me a question that frightened me. He asked me if I fell in love with every black man. He concluded that after reading my blog. I am just shocked and scared! Is that really the impression people have? So all I want to say to Sheriff, that's his name, is this: I don't fall in love easily. I never did. There have been few people in my life that I really loved. Peter for instance was one. The second one was you. I don't care about how you look. There is a difference between looking at guys and falling in love with them. All those models and athletes I talked about don't do anything to me. They really don't and for one simple reason, personality. When I fall in love, I want a guy who has a wonderful personality, something you have. You are extremely smart and well spoken. You can cheer my up when I am down, your blundness makes you special. You are open minded and that is what I like about you most of all. There is no time to be bored while talking to you because you surprise me second after second. You are the type of guy I always been looking for. You know everything and we can talk about everything. Doesn't matter how handsome a guy may be, I have found a personality I really admire. Even if you had a serious accident and you would be paralyzed or mutilated, I would still be there by your side because you would still be there. You are not your looks, you are your inner beauty and that one will always be there.

So this is the first time I can't agree with you. More so, you are extremely wrong! I did fall in love with Sheriff, not with every black man. This is no longer about colours, this is about you. This is about the connection we have while we are talking. I hope that you can see that too. It hurts and I never wanted to give you that impression. I swear, never in my life did I want to make you feel that way, because I love you for who you are. I hope you can see I'm opening my heart to you and everyone else who reads this. I love you and screw everyone else. I don't fall in love easily, but when I do, I commit myself totally. I have to fight back tears while writing this because damn I love you. I just hope you see it too.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

wow sister ... this is deep, clearly ... and real ... even for those of us who have doubts about the concept of love

LoLu said...

wow! Did someone just open a tap of emotions? Lawd Its overflowing!!

how l wish l could pour out my feelings about him like this on my blog. Until then....

I hope you read this Sheriff, A sister is being very honest here.