It all started when I met a guy. We started talking nd we got along great. He is a English lawyer, turned 36 today, own solicitors office,... But we could talk about ev'rythang. It was so easy to talk to him. Neva needed to explain thangs cause he knew what I was talkin bout. But he also made me realise dat I dont want to be a "lawyer". But now am getting off-topic. Da big mistake is dis: I knew he broke up with his ex not so long ago. During our convos I always had da impression he wasnt ova her. He said was so I believed him... Nd I was even so stupid to fall for him - I thought I learned ma lessons... -. We had an amazing time togetha... But still, in da back of ma mind, I was afraid. What if da ex came back??? He gave me clear hints dat I had nuffin to fear. I was da one in his thoughts. Oh boy, I was wrong! Sum days ago his ex found out bout me nd him... Snappin her fingers nd he went back to her. I was thanked for ma services... Nd I? Well once again I went to da stages of grief...
- Denial: Dis aint happening. Its just a bad dream nd am going to wake up now. Am pincing maself... Am not yet awake cause am still feeling da pain. Its only a dream...
- Anger: He is such an asshole nd used me. He was a broken guy who was hiding in work nd I was da best way to escape. I came in handy. A toy to play with while she was gone.
- Bargaining: Lemme get ma law degree as soon as possible so I can beat his lame ass in court. If I cant have him, than I can at least rule da scepter in his court room!
- Depression: Why didnt he choose for me? Why could have had such a beautiful future? Why, why, why???
- Acceptance: One guy lost... Gained many mo'! Getting back with your ex mostly doesnt guarantee a happy ending - on the contrary! - so might be anotha sorry n**** on his knees when he realises da ex aint da one afta all nd I? I am soooo out of reach for him! His loss... Aint mines!
Ma biggest problem is dat my heart as taken over da past few years. Ma brains used to be in charge nd I wouldnt even thought about getting maself involved into sumthang like dis. But like two years ago ma heart took over. Nd it went from bad to even more bad! I was getting maself into thangs dat were guaranteed to end up bad... Nd I HATE IT. I wanna get ma old swing back. Living life according to your emotions is da worst life sumone can have. It causes pain. Being da ice cold bitch as I was before never caused any pain. I didnt have feelings at all. Plus its proven dat luv makes people dumber... Am da living prove of it! So not having any emotions is only a win-win situation: aint getting hurt plus good grades!
Aight otha subject cause he doesnt deserve dis much credits. Sum new songs: Mercy by Duffy. She reminds me of da - white - soul singas of da 60s/70s like Dusty Springfield. Havent heart her complete album but planning to do so soon. Am kinda dissapointed in Mariah Careys new album. I found her previous one betta. Madonna. Ok I gotta admit it: she re-invents herself ev'ry album but afta hearing Hard Candy, da hype around it is over rated. It is maybe her best album but da media turned it into da best album eva... Well it aint. She is - to me - just joining da Timbaland hype. Found him much betta when he was Ginuwines produca - What happened to him btw? Only thang I heard about lately was da TGT project... -. Ne-Yo's Go On Girl is nice too. I luv da part when he sings "I was inviting her into ma heart but she was out riding in sum otha mans car". Belgian rappa/singa Leki got a catchy new song too. Its da new intro of Prison Break nd I luv it. Been humming it on ma way home from da station. Sterio on full powa nd sing along. Car was trembling on da ground from da beats but damn I didnt care lol. If ya got 6 woofers, you betta use 'em! lOl.
Gon wrap it up for today cause ER is gin start soon. - Da 100th time dey replay 'em episodes but I only watched em 99 times so I just gotta watch! I owe dat to maself! LMAO -
Ova nd out. Peace.
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