Aeqvam memento rebvs in ardvis servare mentem

Happy Birthday

2010-01-31T16:37:00.000+01:00

Happy birthday Lolu! Enjoy this day to the fullest!

Teaser

2010-01-22T02:08:00.002+01:00

Yéle Haiti

2010-01-14T10:53:00.003+01:00

Click on the image above to make donations
Or text YELE to 501501

January 12th, 2010

May the souls of all those who lost their lives in Haiti's earthquake rest in piece.

New Year's Wishes

2010-01-01T01:01:00.000+01:00

THIS IS A TOAST TO US LADIES FOR 2010! FOR THE MEN WHO HAVE US, THE LOSERS WHO HAD US AND THE LUCKY BASTARDS WHO ARE YET TO MEET US!

World AIDS Day

2009-12-01T21:31:00.001+01:00

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-31T12:39:00.001+01:00

Five little pumpkins sitting on a gate,
The first one said,
"Oh my, it's getting late."
The second one said,
"But we don't care."
The third one said,
"I see witches in the air."
The fourth one said,
"Let's run, and run, and run."
The fifth one said,
"Get ready for some fun."
Then whoosh went the wind,
and out went the lights,
And five little pumpkins rolled out of sight!

HAVE A SPOOOOOKEEEEEEEY HALLOWEEN BLOGVILLE!

Musicology

2009-09-20T18:39:00.001+02:00

Can you believe it, it is already September 20th! The goddamn month is almost over before it has even started! Back to university tomorrow, oh well in two days actually because I am skipping tomorrow. That is always the best solution when you hate the first days just as much as I do, just skip them. Anyway, the last few weeks I have been helping my cousin move into her new house. The previous owner never ever cleaned the place in those two years he has lived there so you can imagine how dirty it was inside. Let me give you an idea, I assume you all know the movie The Adams Family, right? Well you can compare it to their house, sprider webs everywhere! It was just gross! When I got home, I jumped in the hot bath tub and stayed there for more than one hour, washing my hair six times and still feeling the spiders run over me (of course that was all in the head, but still that is how it felt). While cleaning and carrying boxes, I had enough of time to listen to my iPod and some new Cd's I’ve downloaded the past few months.

The Blueprint 3 by Jay- Z

This is the third album of the Blueprint series and I must say, it’s my least favorite one too. After his strong comeback CD Kingdom Come, I would have expected more from this one. It is also remarkable how many features there are on this album; 12 out of 15 tracks contain a feature (with names as Alicia Keys, Drake, Pharrell, Kanye West and Rihanna).

About the album itself, some may have already noticed that it does not sound like the previous two Blueprint albums. The word "blueprint" also does not refer to a "back to basics" approach this time. Jay-Z wanted to explore himself with this album, and just as other MC’s of this time, innovation does not stand for creating a whole new sound, it just taking the music as how it sounds now to a different level with some new flows or new samples, but never really new and unique things. The Blueprint 3 belongs to this category too: it has some new rhymes and a somewhat futuristic sound, but it is still Jay-Z rapping about how great he is. Nothing new there right? That is basically what he has been doing for the last 13 years, and I must admit, he is good at it.

Overall this album is solid, but when you are Jay-Z, standards are higher and this album can because fairly boring after a few listens. My favorite track is Empire State of Mind.

Personal rating 3.5 stars

Danger by P-Square

P-Square is back with their 4th album, Danger. It has been announced as “highly anticipated” and bringing a new vibe into the music industry. Based on their deal of 40 million Naira, you could expect this album to be even better than the previous best selling album Game Over. Being a major P-Square fan myself, I was eagerly waiting on this album, but it was a major blow. It wasn’t even nearly as good as their previous albums Last Nite, Get Squared and Game Over.

When they released the title track of the album, Danger, they’ve quickly released the video of the song too, most likely due to the bad response on the song. This is tone of the whole album. Danger is an album with some heights, but mostly it is just average with very few lows. It all becomes so plain and jacked up basically (never thought I would say this about them, because I am not really objective though because they are just too good looking and then you digest horrible things a bit better). This album is everything but renewing and original, samples seem to become the standard for this record. With each song, you get the “haven’t I heard this beat before?”-feeling. To my feeling, it is just not at powerful and high quality as their last album, but I guess that is the problem. We have been spoiled the last time, offering an album you like to listen to without skipping a track or without getting bored, so you expect more from them, the standards are higher than for other artists.

The one single that really caught my attention was Bye Bye. When you look at the title, you wouldn’t expect it to be a love song. But this song has a very strong chorus, maybe one of their strongest ballads in general. It’s subjective, but I think Paul’s voice is at his best while singing powerful ballads like say Your Love or Miss U Die. Those guys are lucky they have a solid fan base and good looks, because if this was their debut album, I am afraid their career was over before it even took off. Just my two cents.

Personal rating: 2.5 stars

Loso's Way

One of my favorite artists Fabolous is back with his latest album called Loso’s Way. Is Loso’s Way the right way? Fabolous has always been too raw to be metro, but now that he has signed to Def Jam, you could hear he has become a bit more mainstream. His latest album, From Nothing To Something, fairly disappointed me because it was a bunch of radio ready tracks and not the raw Fabolous who used to spell his name and worked with beats from unknown producers and turned them into fire. But one thing you have to admit, Loso is one of the artists who redefines itself album after album, for better or worse.

The thing that makes Fabolous a great emcee is his charismatic flow, and that charisma that can get him away with mocking nursery rhyme raps. If this was any other rapper, he would be slayed for it, but not Loso. This is also his major strength: ignoring the critics and perfecting a style of New York gangster narrative that's 25% braggadocious, 20% swagger, 15% clever punchlines and 15% his "da-da-da-da-DAMN" vocal style. When you listen to his previous albums, except for From Something To Nothing, you notice that only a limited amount of songs are radio-ready. This is where lies the smartness: he adds just enough tracks to get played on stations and make the mainstream public know his name, but he mainly keeps it raw so he would not loose his oldest fans.

But the thing that made Fabolous a stayer was his beats. Even the throwaway tracks on most of his previous albums had beats that could be lead singles on most other rappers’ albums. But, yes a serious but the beats on this album are not what they used to be. He is leaving his original Breathe beat behind him by doing three tracks with Jermaine Dupree who is a wack producer, unless you want a small radio hit. The best beat is the one on My Time by the Runners but this get overshadowed by those of Throw It In The Bag, which has only a piano and drums as beats – even a little kid could make one like this.

Personal rating: 3 stars

BLACKsummers'night by Maxwell

Eight years after his previous album Now, Maxwell is back with a new album BLACKsummers'night. His first albums were all very good, occasionally brilliant, R&B projects that flirted with neo-soul, straight-up soul and something more… futuristic, all tied together by Maxwell’s otherworldly gorgeous voice. Also, most R&B kind of sucks these days, what with halfway talented singers using autotune to warble clichés over throwaway hip hop beats. This combined made people were excited about Maxwell’s return. Fortunately BLACKsummers'night is indeed pretty good, though it’s definitely not any kind of revolutionary step forward.

Maxwell himself is still Maxwell. His voice is still impossibly smooth, his timing impeccable, his lyrics generally pretty good. And that melancholy permeates BLACKsummers'night. Maxwell is still the king of baby-making music, but this time the undeniable sensuality of the vocals and arrangements are often at odds with the darkness of the lyrics. This gives the album a refreshing twist, and at just under 40 minutes long, the novelty is never lost.

As the first part of a planned trilogy, BLACKsummers'night may simply be the reintroduction of a phenomenally talented vocalist to the public. The next two albums, blackSUMMER'snight and blacksummer'sNIGHT may hold more surprises or take more radical steps forward. It’s hard to complain, though. While this album isn’t the game-changer some were expecting after such a long wait, it still signals the return of one of soul music’s best voices.

Personal rating: 4 stars

It's no use crying over spilt milk

2009-09-18T17:57:00.000+02:00

A few day ago Belgian farmers, and later this same week also farmers from other European countries, poured away milk onto fields as a protest against the European Union milk quota and low milk prices. The total milk drain was estimated 6 million liters, twice as much as the originally planned 3 million liters. I totally understand the frustration of those farmers, but this is nutrition they are spilling.

The farmers are obligated to produce a daily quota of milk by the EU, and this causes a surplus of milk. Due to this surplus, the prices of milk stay low (economic equilibrium of price and quantity is where supply and demand meet). In a competitive market, the farmers would produce less milk, the supply would get less and the prices would go up, but due to the obligated quota, prices stay low and the farmers barely survive. So is this quota a bad thing? Yes and no, depending how you look at it. From the consumer point of view, the quota is a good thing because the milk is cheap and that is how a basic nutrition ingredient should be. As seen from the world market, it is a bad thing. For example, European milk is exported to Africa. The local milk is much more expensive than the European milk. This results into the fact that the local farmers will lose their market and end up with unsold milk. This can have dramatic consequences for the already poor farmers.

As from a human point of view, this milk drain is unacceptable. All over the world people are dying of malnutrition, starving of hunger and here they just pour away that essential white liquid.

Acts of douchebachery, signed Kanye West

2009-09-15T00:41:00.007+02:00

The annual MTV VMA’s, the place to be if you mean anything in the “pop” music industry. The red carpet was stunning. It seems like the dress code was “short” this year. Beyoncé Knowles’ short red dress with dazzling décolleté was just so fierce! Loved it from head to toe. Then there was Jennifer Lopez her eccentric dress. It was a strange combination, from the black leopard shoes to the beige dress and black accessories. It looked hard, the black on the nude tones, but I kind of loved the fierceness. And then there was Lady GaGa… The least we could say is that she is unique, but I think she’s just too much and too eccentric. Just my two cents.

The show had some great performances, especially the one of Beyoncé. Pink wasn’t too bad neither and GaGa was, well she was GaGa. Over the top eccentric… Janet Jackson looked and sounded fierce when she performed the song “Scream” as an ode to her brother. The main award, best music video was won by Beyoncé for her video of Single Ladies. But I think no one will remember this due to Kanye West and his ego.

Mister West succeeded to pull the attention to himself, and only himself. It is not the first time he misbehaved. It happened before at the Grammy Awards and also at the American Music Awards. Hopefully this is the last time he is invited to these kinds of events. For those who did not yet see the video of his “performance”, a short recap. The lovely and innocent 19 y.o. Country singer Taylor Swift just accepted the award for best female video and was ready to start her acceptance speech. At that moment, Kanye West run up on stage took the microphone out of her hands and expressed his own preference for Beyoncé’s video. Then he left the poor girl, standing there while he took away her moment of glory.

Kanye West, what is wrong with this guy? A few years ago he has caused a whole scene backstage at an award show because he found he deserved to win, yet he did not get the award. And now this debacle… Is it really his big ego? Can he not handle the fact that he is not always the centre of attention? That the world does not always surround around him? When you read his blog, he sounds like he thinks he is the best musician ever. That he is reincarnation of God on earth. He is so full of himself and obviously he has never heard of modesty. Running up on that stage shows how ignorant and arrogant he really is. What happened to him? Did he not get enough attention and hugs when he was little? Is he really one of those persons that cannot stand it when other people get the confirmation that they mean something in the industry while he, the self-proclaimed musical genius, doesn’t succeed to win any award?

Well I think that by doing this, a lot of people (including fans) have lost respect for him, and I cannot blame them. This douche simply doesn’t deserve it anymore after all he has said and done. And the apology (damage control by his PR management), not sincere at all! Only a few moments after the event occurred (welcome to the world of modern communications) people were already Tweeting about what happened. In less than 12 hours, Kanye has been called the N-word way over 2 million times, by both black and white people. Still, some were way out of line. It seems that this act has brought out deep racial issues in people. I don’t justify this at all, but sometimes I feel like there are two standards for using this word. When a black person uses this word, it seems to be accepted because it would be some sign of brotherhood. When a white person uses the word, it is considered racism. I understand where the meaning and usage comes from, and I wish I could change the past, but I do not see any difference when it is used. I feel it has the same meaning, no matter the race and should never be used.

But back to the issue, stop buying his music. A plain and simple boycott!

N.B. That "apology" on Leno? Over the top played! You would make a crappy actor 'Nye! It lacks credibility.

The unthinkable: Nazi adoration

2009-09-09T00:36:00.001+02:00

For the past few days, I’ve been watching the 7 o’clock news with disgust. It all started a few days ago when there was an announcement for a show in between programs. The subject was about nostalgia of World War II and this village in Germany where you could relive the whole atmosphere, from the whole way of life until the cars they drove. I was in pure disbelieve when I heard about it. How can you think back about something awful and actually miss it? Millions of people were killed back then!

Some days later, I totally had the you-gots-to-be-kidding-me feeling. I was watching the news when they introduced the upcoming reportage. It was about a Belgian baby sitter who had a clear preference for the Nazi-empire and its fürer, Adolf Hitler. She had pictures of him on the wall and also the swastika symbol. Also the words she spoke creeped me out. She compared Islam to the Jews, who where the cause of WWII (actually this is wrong, it was Hitler’s sick mind that started the war) and stated that “they took everything from us, we are caught”. She also called Hitler an intelligent man with fantastic ideas and a clear vision (the only intelligent thing he has ever done was kill himself).

I am going to put my emotions aside (which is very hard, yet I will try) and explain with rational elements why he is not intelligent at all. First of all, yes Hitler listened to the youth and yes he created jobs when he, for example created roads or other infrastructure. This said, let us take a look about how this employment was arranged and why I am proponent of the liberal economy, even though that one has its shortcomings too. Hitler’s strong leadership can be compared to that of the late USSR, North-Korea, Cuba and maybe even China. The government strives to have people employed, but this is forced employment. I remember a guest lecturer back in my first year of university and he was surprised that children of less fortunate families could enroll. He came from the strict USSR Empire where the government decided what you could study and where you would study. This resulted that only the children of fortunate families could enroll in university. This reminds me of the past 4 or 5 centuries, the aristocracy and the French Revolution. Yes, there is employment, but at what cost? Is this worth giving up the freedom to choose what and who you want to become in the future?

Beef with Hip Hop

2009-09-02T00:34:00.000+02:00

Hip Hop. Everyone knows the term, but what does it really mean? What does it really stand for? Most people will think about the music gerne with obscene language and a lot of bling. But just those things make me dislike Hip Hop more and more. This is the story about my beef with Hip Hop. Hip Hop isn’t about dissing each other, neither is it about the Hip Hop candy shaking their ass in some music video. But then what is HIP HOP?

Hip Hop is a movement, it is a way of life. It is saying “I AM HERE”. Ever since I can remember, Hip Hop is a way to express yourself. It was a way to address the injustice. It was a way to express yourself. Freedom of speech. A way to speak up against the political oppression. But most of all, it was peaceful. This all changed over the years. Hip Hop became a commercial product. It has gotten a negative connotation. Hip Hop became the symbol of drive by shootings, gangs and other criminal activities. When it once was used to address these forms of crime, it now turned into an instrument of crime. Saggy jeans, do-rags, guns and knifes became a part of this so called new Hip Hop culture. Instead of speaking up against it, violence became accepted and “smacking up my bitch” or “shooting a bullet through his brain” became the standard. Hip Hop has become something completely different and I, I am left behind, confused how it has gotten this far. Confused how it could have made this 360 degrees turn. And even more confused about the fact that so many people like the new direction Hip Hop has taken. It became more popular than ever.

What does this say about our society? How can a people support something that went from sending a positive message to something that supports rage and anger? As for me, I don’t support it and I miss the old days. I think I have written about this subject earlier when the Ice Cube versus Soulja Boy things happened, but I still don’t agree with the path Hip Hop has choosen. Violence seems to be the standard in our society and the music reflects this. Young children see the videos, they hear the lyrics and they grow up with the idea that there is nothing wrong with it. Even more, they see adults living the lifestyle they hear about in the songs… This way they get a double confirmation. It seems to be more cool and respected to be a hustler or a pimp that to get a university degree, and heck, it often brings in more cash too!

So dear Hip Hop, will you ever come back? Will you ever become the way you was before? Will you ever be the thing that I adored?

Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou

2009-08-26T22:22:00.002+02:00

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

In a world where image and looks matter...

2009-08-24T22:27:00.003+02:00

It’s been the IAAF World Championships and of course Usain Bolt won both the 100 meters, 200 meters and 4x100 meters and he also improved his own World Records he ran last at year’s summer Olympics in Beijing.

But the thing that has caught my attention was the women’s 800 meters. The winner was Caster Semenya, yet this caused a whole lot of controversy and gossip. This time it isn’t about illegal substances, but more about the rather masculine look, voice and movements of this 18-year old athlete. This caught a lot of people’s attention and questions/gossip started to arise, saying that she was actually a man. She was forced to undergo tests to establish her sex.

These allegations need some specifying though. It is not an issue of female versus male, but of “entirely female”. It is very much possible that she is suffering from hermaphroditism, which means she has both male and female reproductive organs. This may cause her to possess secondary male characteristics. If this is indeed the case, she can be disqualified since the IAAF says only “entirely female” or “entirely male” contesters can participate. Is this fair? Yes and no. Allow me to explain myself.
It would be fair to disqualify her because if she has indeed a Y-chromosome, this means she is naturally favoured compared to the “entirely” female athletes because she would have male hormones. Face it or not, and as a girl I hate to admit it, but men got naturally more power, more muscles and run faster than woman. The stats prove this: Usain Bolt 9,58 versus Delorez Florence Griffith-Joyner 10,49.
On the other hand, it isn’t fair to disqualify her because this is what she loves doing, this is what she has trained for. And then who are we to tell her she can’t run any longer because of a medical condition she did not choose for. How inhuman would that be… Neither would it be fair to let her run the men’s 800m because then she would always end last.

But all this aside, the way this has been handled by the IAAF is just too outrages for words. This woman has the right on privacy and, if the IAAF found gender tests necessary, they should have done this quietly and privately and not, I repeat not, in the very open. This girl has her dignity, pride and human rights and no one should have the right to humiliate her when the whole world is watching!

All I can say is; you go girl! Keeping your head up while the whole world is on a witch-hunt. Going out there and run your race while the public is not cheering after your victory. No standing ovation like Usain Bolt gets just because you don’t meet up to the stereotype image of a woman…

It’s been a long time, I shouldn’t have left you

2009-08-11T15:13:00.002+02:00

Without a strong rhyme to step to 
Think of how many weak shows you slept through 
Times up, I’m sorry I kept you
 Thinking of this, you keep repeating you miss 
The rhymes from the microphone soloist.

Kudos to the one who can tell me the name of the song and the author(s). Hint: these guys are my favorite MC’s of all time.

But I know I’ve been gone for a very long while. The fact is that I just did not know anything to write about. It’s not that there has nothing happened to write about, it’s more about not knowing how to share it. Isn’t this what they would call a writer’s block? Anyway, I think I have found a subject to write about and I’ll see where it takes me. It can become a long post or a short one, I don’t know because I am not the type of writer who has written everything inside her head and only needs to note it down. I am writing down what my feelings tell me at this very moment.

Here it goes. It was last Saturday and I was on my way home from a day in town. Because there was a fire at my home station a few days earlier, there was only a train every hour, and of course I missed it so I had to wait for the next one. While I was sitting there, it was around 6pm, a bunch of guys who were celebrating a bachelors party arrived my gate. Some of them were already drunk, some were sober but one of the guys started a conversation with me, and soon the whole group joined the conversation.

Since it was a bachelor’s party, the subject turned to relationships of course. They were all surprised I was still single because –and now I am using his words- “I was a foxy lady”. I mean, really? Am I a foxy lady? Maybe the magazines are right and the super skinny girls are becoming out of fashion, but I’ve never heard that my type of girl –I am more like the Jennifer Hudson type- can be described as foxy… Most men prefer to call that “fat”. Anyway, I love my curves.

But one thing the guy said kept lingering in my mind - “luckily you are not wearing asocial earphones because that screams: stay away from me, I am not available for any kind of social interaction”. I must say, he might be right. When you are stuck somewhere and you switch on your iPod, you are shutting yourself off from everyone around you and then other people who, at first, thought you looked interesting, might not be interested anymore once they see the earphones. That is indeed what I have noticed in the past 3 years. You get on the train each day and you often see the same faces, but you never ever spoken to them, because we are all locked up in our little world.

Body image decides for a large part whether people notice you on the street or not. That and a banging body of course. But since that banging Angelina Jolie body is a utopia, I will have to work it with my persona and style. You cannot be too diva-like because that seems to scare of the people from actually walking up to you and starting a conversation. The main problem here is that I am addicted to my silk scarves and Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses… The other mistake is the girl-next-door-look. She might be a beautiful girl, but you never notice her because she can easily be overlooked because she just does not stand out, matter of fact, she just blends in the crowd. Yet again, this is/was I, even though I try to stand out –maybe a cute accessory, a piece of clothing that shows my slim waistline with curvy bottom or something else that pulls the attention- but sometimes I cannot help to notice I look dull and even boring. I mean, I would never start a conversation with myself on those days because I would not even notice I was there. So then what does do the trick? Well when I was waiting for my train in the morning, a girl with a very short skirt was also waiting on her train and when a group of guys passed her, they asked for her phone number. Fine, I admit, I wouldn’t want to get asked for my phone number because I was wearing a skirt that barely covered my ass, but still the fact remains that she was asked for her phone number. Now what does this mean: most guys don’t care about conversations, all they want is a girl that wears a short skirt and has a banging body. Solution: I’m single and that’s how I will remain until the day that men stop being so superficial!

PS: The song’s title was I Know You Got Soul by Eric B. & Rakim.

Michael Jackson memorial service

2009-07-07T22:00:00.002+02:00

The Michael Jackson Memorial will go into history books as one of the most watched tv-broadcasts ever. It was most likely even bigger than the Lady Di funeral or any other event. Maybe because this was the final tribute to one of the greatest entertainers of them (maybe even the greatest entertainer) all and the undisputed King of Pop. This will be one of these events of whom people will ask “where were you at that time?”, just like with tragic events as 9/11.

I was at home, locked before the plasma screen television, with mixed feelings because at one side I was devastated this is really the end of an era, and at the other side I was proud that I had the privilege to live in an era with this great performer. This show was a celebration of the person inside him. About what he cared and stood for, the total opposite of what the media made of him. It showed the human and vulnerable side not many people knew existed...

The show was one filled with Goosebumps and tearjerkers. It started with the Gospel Choir opens the Memorial with a song that contained the lyrics "Hallelujah we are going to see the king". At that time, the Jackson brothers carried in the coffin covered with red roses. Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, Marlon and Randy all carried the glitter glove, one of the trademarks of MJ.

The first ode came from Pastor Lucious W. Smith. “We come together and we remember the time. As long as we remember him, he will always be there to comfort us.” This set the tone of the service. It wasn’t going to be one filled with dance, but it was going to be subdued and really back to the essence and the deepest feelings of this human being. After this kick off, Mariah Carey and her producer Trey Lorenz took the stage for the performance of I’ll Be There (a hit of the Jackson Five, Third Album, 1970).

Queen Latifah said Michael Jackson showed her that you can travel the world as an African-American and that there is a world outside America. She finalized her remembrance with a wonderfully written poem by Maya Angelou:

Beloveds, now we know that we know nothing, now that our bright and shining star can slip away from our fingertips like a puff of summer wind.

Without notice, our dear love can escape our doting embrace. Sing our songs among the stars and walk our dances across the face of the moon.

In the instant that Michael is gone, we know nothing. No clocks can tell time. No oceans can rush our tides with the abrupt absence of our treasure.

Though we are many, each of us is achingly alone, piercingly alone.

Only when we confess our confusion can we remember that he was a gift to us and we did have him.

He came to us from the creator, trailing creativity in abundance.

Despite the anguish, his life was sheathed in mother love, family love, and survived and did more than that.

He thrived with passion and compassion, humor and style. We had him whether we know who he was or did not know, he was ours and we were his.

We had him, beautiful, delighting our eyes.

His hat, aslant over his brow, and took a pose on his toes for all of us.

And we laughed and stomped our feet for him.

We were enchanted with his passion because he held nothing. He gave us all he had been given.

Today in Tokyo, beneath the Eiffel Tower, in Ghana's Black Star Square.

In Johannesburg and Pittsburgh, in Birmingham, Alabama, and Birmingham, England

We are missing Michael.

But we do know we had him, and we are the world.

After this wonderful poem, Lionel Richie took the stage with Jesus Is Love. Berry Gordy, one of the founders of Motown Records (the record label that has signed the Jackson Five back in the late 60s) told about the young Jackson family who used to play baseball with the Gordy family. It was a long, but also a witty and emotional speech that made you smile through the tears. It showed Michael as a normal young kid that we can all relate to.

"Never Dreamed You'd Leave In Summer" was the song Stevie Wonder performed. Kobe Bryant remembered us that Jackson was also very concerned about the world and that he is in the Guinness Book of World Records as the performer who donated the most money to charity. Magic Johnson shared a story with the audience about a day he went to Neverland to discuss about a video shoot. He told about them eating Kentucky Fried Chicken together just like normal people like you and I.

A pregnant Jennifer Hudson performed a gospel version of “You Will Be There”. The end took my breath away. It included the voice of Michael Jackson spreading the word of peace and helping each other. It was a very powerful message about something that Michael cared about: helping other people. Reverend Al Sharpton reminded us were Michael Jackson came from. They were just a regular working family and had nothing but a dream. No one thought their dream would ever succeed, yet Michael never gave in and kept fighting and did not accept boundaries. He brought people of all over the world together and made us sing “Heal The World”. Then he directed himself to the children of Michael Jackson and told them there was nothing strange about their dad, it was the world that treated their daddy strangely. It was a powerful statement and he did have a point. From a very young age, the press has haunted down MJ and never they stopped talking about him. The trials were all over the newspapers; every move he made was portrayed on the front pages of every newspaper worldwide… What was left seemed to be an estranged person who was not from this world.

John Mayer played "Human Nature" on his guitar. This was one of the tracks Michael Jackson always performed with a lot of emotions. Brooke Shields, who knows what it is like to be famous at a very young age told about the time they have spend together and how they could leave the adult world behind them when they were together. She compared Michael to The Little Prince.

One of the highlights and one of the most emotional moments was when Jermaine Jackson sung Michael’s favorite song “Smile” by Charley Chaplin. It is unbelievable how someone can keep himself this strong to dedicate a song for his brother who passed away. I really had tears in my eyes… Very beautiful… Martin Luther King III referred to the words of his father: “My father once said ‘In life, one must discover what his calling is. When they do, they must do their jobs so well that the living, the dead and the unborn could do no better.’ He constantly challenged us to become our best by stating ‘If you cannot be a pine on a top of a hill, why, just be a shrub in the valley. But be the best shrub. Be a bush on the side of the road, if you cannot be a tree. If you cannot be the highway, just be a trail. It’s not by size that you win or you fail. You’ve got to be the best of what you are.”

Member of parliament Scheila Jackson Lee told the story of the Parable of the Good Samaritan and also reminded us that everybody is innocent until proven guilty, referring to the many accusations newspapers made about his trials. A very emotional Usher performed the song “Gone Too Soon” and broke down when he hit the last words of the song, standing next to MJ’s golden coffin.

Smokey Robinson, of whom the Jackson Five recorded a track, still remembered the first meeting with the 10-year-old Michael. He had never ever seen such a young person that could understand the serious lyrics about hurt and pain like he could. “My brother is in a place now where he is most certainly going to live forever. But he's going to live forever twice, because he's going to live forever right here - the world will never, ever forget Michael Jackson”. Shaheen Jafargholi, the 12 year old kid from Britain’s Got Talent performed a version of "Who's Lovin' You", reminded us about the young MJ.

“We Are the World” and “Heal the World” closed down the show. Children, artists and family gathered on stage and sung together. This is what Michael Jackson stood for, bringing people together and make them happy through music.

The most emotional moment was when Michael Jackson’s 11-year-old daughter Paris spoke to the audience and spoke the words "ever since I was born, daddy has been the best daddy ever, and I just want to say I love him so much". At this moment I broke down in tears too.

The most lasting impression and empty feeling was when the coffin was carried out on the tones “Man In the Mirror” and all that is left is en empty microphone in a blue spotlight…

Round up of the past month.

2009-07-02T00:07:00.004+02:00

Heat wave, heat wave, heat wave! Did anyone say HEAT WAVE (whipping the sweat of my forehead)! It has been over 30°C the whole week, it was even 38°C in the bare sun this afternoon. See I am not complaining about the heat, but even at night the temperature did not drop under 28°C inside my bedroom and if there is one thing I hate, then it must be waking up soaking in my own sweat! Apart from that, I love this weather. The sun is a serious boost for my energy and also my mood. I just cannot be unhappy when the sun is shining!

I have been begging for my exams to be over for weeks now, and now that they are over, I am kind of bored as hell… The first few days after my exams were fun because I didn’t do anything else then sleeping, shopping and enjoying BBQs. Every year, there is this “braderij” in town. It’s a couple of days a year, just before the summer’s reduction period, when all the shop owners take their goods out on the streets. Everyone comes out with friends to enjoy the festivities and to have a drink on in of the many outdoor bars. Of course I went too! I have spent the whole Saturday in town, from the afternoon till way past midnight. Strolling down the busy streets and enjoying a refreshing glass of Sangria during the evening while watching the fireworks. Apart from that, it was mad boring though. It is too hot to go to the stables, wouldn’t want the horses to drop death, it is too hot to do something useful like finally cleaning up all my schoolbooks that I had strategically hidden under my bed.

So to kill the boredom I’ve been digging into my DVD-box and watched many movies of whom I never imagined having. First off was Training Day. Denzel Washington is just line fine wine, he gets better with age. The first movie I saw him in was Cry Freedom, he was in his early 30s I think, but now when he is in his 50s, he has this sex appeal over him that really turns a woman on. Is it the wisdom? Well I don’t know what it is, but he is very handsome and is surely on my list of hottest men alive. Next up was Amistad. This movie is one of my favorites of all time. Why did Djimon Hounsou get the role of Cinque? Acting skills? Well he’s put down a nice and solid performance, but the main reason is that he looks damn good without clothes on! But it is just a picture perfect with him. A body to die for, but also a very beautiful facial structure and skin tone. Oh man, I really love his black-as-the-night skin. But back to the movie, it is a very strong and powerful film that makes a clear statement. Really my kind of movie. I am not into those smooth love movies or happy endings; I like them real and powerful. Then there was Bad Boys I and II, pure amusement and fun. Can’t help it but I adore Martin Laurence’s jokes!

Now that we are talking about handsome men, let us continue with one of my other favorites, Peter Okoye (of P-Square). I can’t help but to drool over this guy whenever I play one of their videos. Some say he looks like Usher, and indeed he does, but Usher grew up to become less cute than he used to be, but at 29, Peter looks cuter than ever.

I should wrap this up because I have a “date” tomorrow. I have promised this old friend that I would show him around in town, but he insisted that I should call it a date. Since it will still be smoking hot tomorrow, I will show him the lovely city beach! It is this place on Linkeroever, next to the Schelde, that has become a cozy beach. I hope I don’t annoy him with all my boring nagging! This seems the first guy in a very long time that doesn’t seem to be in it for the wrong reasons…

To be continued…

Final goodbye to a Legend - R.I.P Michael Jackson

2009-06-25T21:27:00.007+02:00

Just a moment ago, the music of our youth has died, and with that, we have died a little bit too. Who doesn’t remember the epic video for Thriller that looked more like a movie than a music video? Who hasn’t secretly been practicing the moonwalk in front of the mirror and who cannot sing Billy Jean along when the radio stations play it? With Michael Jackson’s passing, we have lost a true icon that has meant a lot to the music industry and someone who has influenced many artists, but also a great humanitarian. Projects like “Heal the World Foundation” and “USA for Africa” showed that he was not only an eccentric person, but also had a heart for the less fortunate. Some people need to die to become a worldwide phenomenon, but this man was already a living legend when he was alive and his works will always be remembered, even many more decades after his unexpected and sudden death. People always refer to Elvis Presley, but Michael Jackson surely can be named with him or may even leave a greater musical history behind for us to enjoy and cherish.

Black or white, you still made HIStory. Your dance moves left blood on the dancefloor. I remember the time, you rocked my world like a smooth criminal, now you're gone too soon. What more can you give, you tried to heal the world, but they called you bad... 25th June 2009, you left the world talking about your death like a classic thriller..... That's why you remain the King of POP.

Jupiler Pro League - 7 out of 10 players are against homosexuals in the first division

2009-06-10T15:07:00.000+02:00

After my last post on discrimination – based on race – I have found yet another remarkable form of discrimination that is so shocking that it deserves some attention. Last Wednesday, SportVoetbalmagazine released the results of a questionnaire they have done among the 303 soccer players of the Belgian first division. On the question if gay players belong in the first division, 67,8 % answered negative. I have read discussions about this remarkable –or not so remarkable- result and I have my own thoughts about some explanations given for this result.

The first explanation that was given was one that a lot of the players come from outside Europe – mostly Africa and South America where homosexuality is not accepted. Is this a possible explanation? Maybe it is possible, maybe it isn’t. If it is possible, then the only thing I have to say is shame on you! They are the first ones to scream racism when a referee rules against them, but –if the statement/explanation is true- they don’t see any problems in discriminating another person. The pot calling the kettle black? I am against discrimination based on race, so those who are indeed discriminated have the right to stand up, but it does not give you the right to start discriminating yourself. You want to be respected, so does the homosexual person.

On the other hand, this statement can be false because I don’t believe that almost 70% of the 300 plus players are from none-European origin. In Southern Europe, homosexuality seems to be even less accepted than in the more Northern part. This can be caused by the second possible explanation: religion. It is commonly known that the Southern regions are more religious than the North. All three major religions condemn homosexuality because of various reasons written in a book. Yes that is right, a book. People think they can justify their discrimination against homosexuals based on what is written in a book, a book just like any other book that was ever written en can be found on a shelf in the library. Isn’t religion about peacefully living together? About respecting each other? Not discriminating one other? So then what gives you the right to discriminate homosexuals? The sentence “If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads (Leviticus 20:12-14, NIV)”? One sentence, written by a person thousands of years ago? So this sentence cannot be put in perspective, but the statement that sex can only be performed when married and only for reproduction only – never for joy, can be ignored whenever you want to get laid? I thought so… Hypocrisy to the fullest.

Related to religion, it can be claimed to be unnatural. Yet this can easily be refuted by facts and figures. Over 1.500 species have already showed homosexual behavior – going from lions to penguins. More so, 1 out of 5 couples of the King Penguin are homosexual and 94% of all sexual activities between giraffes is homosexual contact. Can things get even more natural and untamed as an animal?

Explanation four is the mutual showers – yet then I wonder if they would mind having 10 naked ladies next to them… Plus if you follow this explanation, then you also assume that every gay man would want to molest you under the shower. Isn’t that a bit too stereotyping to believe? It is not because a straight football player bangs everything that has a skirt and two legs, that homosexual players would do the same with everything that wears pants…

Fifth and last explanation that is worth commenting on is the one that football is for machos. This one actually brought a smile on my face. I was thinking about players like David Beckham, Christiano Ronaldo,… and other “metrosexual” men that look more queer than most homosexual men with their mèchen, “man”bags and creams…

StandupSpeakup

2009-06-05T17:06:00.003+02:00

It’s been a long time since I decided to put up a new blog entry. I haven’t forgotten about the word of Blogville, I simply didn’t feel the need to post anything. The main reason is because I always saw blogging as an effective psychologist that allowed me to arrange all the chaotic thoughts that went on my little head. The past few weeks I did not need this anymore because things have fallen into place and I feel liberated. I can breathe again. No more possessive and abusive guy around, no more lying and manipulative so-called friend – it feels great. From now on I will put myself first and I will let no guy tell me who my friends can be and who can’t. If he cannot accept the fact that I have male friends and that I am not going to give them up just because they are guys, then I don’t want to bother anymore. This is the last thing I ever said about it because it doesn’t deserve any more words. I am liberated it I will stay this way.

The reason why I have turned to this blog is not to yap some more about feeling liberated and all of that or to state of stupid I was to ignore the abusive signs of the relationship I was in, but I want to point out a very serious issue, an issue I have spoken about many times before and that is racism. The past weeks this subject was omnipresent, both in my private life as in the media. I would like to share four events of the past weeks that show my dissatisfaction concerning this serious threat.

The first two ran-ins with racism were some that happened not too long ago. The first one was directed towards myself. When I was checking the mails I received on a social network site, I received a very insulting message about one of my photos, a photo that pictured a friend, a Belgian-Congolese music artist and myself backstage at his showcase of last December. This is the message I received: “You are the worst low class whore i've ever seen shame on you!!! You should show these pictures to your father and see what he thinks?? Go back to fucking monkeys and apes thats what you deserve you piece of crap”. The second confrontation came not so long afterwards; it was only a matter of some hours. The father of his ex-girlfriend told him that black and white should be separated from each other.
See I know I should not let this bother me because it shows more about their intelligence and spoiled thoughts, but yet it makes me so mad. How can people even think like that? Having heard some arguments that do not make sense, I am starting to believe it is just a lack of intelligence, competence and social conscience. Things like this should be taken seriously, and not minimized by saying it is only a small part of the population that thinks this way because that is unfortunately not true. There is a growing part of the population that thinks this way and this all over the world. A good example is the third ran-in.

This one has surfaced today. There are elections for the European Parliament this week and the Netherlands has leaked the first results this morning. The outcome is that the PVV of Wilders has wan the elections with a strong outcome of 17%. I don’t know if any of my readers are aware of the political stances of this party, but it can be compared to those of Belgians Vlaams Belang. They both stand for a nation that is free from Muslims, free from immigrants and claim to be a party for the man in the street, but if you look more closely at their program, it will only make the wealthy more wealthier and the poor even more poor.
As a future lawyer, I understand the importance of freedom of speech and the democratic representation, but there also has an importance assessment to be made. Is this kind of freedom of speech still appropriate in a Western world with its many nationalities and plurality of human beings? Does freedom of speech give people the right to discriminate other human beings based on race? No it does not and it will only raise more hate between human beings. I think that both governments have given some signs that it is not acceptable, but not strong enough in my opinion. They condemned preamble of Vlaams Belang, the Vlaams Blok party for racism, but their successor is basically doing the same thing. Other Belgian parties have set up a Cordon Sanitaire, but this has become a fact that the party likes to use to address as the “non-democratic” government that prevents from all voices to be heard. The Netherlands have condemned Wilders’ release of the movie Fitna, a movie that called the Koran fascistic book that incites violence.
I am wondering how Europe’s stance will be when they are confronted with this and if the European Court of Human Rights will rule when they have to rule about articles 10 (freedom of expression) and article 14 (discrimination). I hope and I think they would rule in favor of discrimination or this would be a very bad sign for the equality between human beings. Because in the end that is what this is all about, people can not be simplified and put and/or ruled by a race label, because that would be a lack of respect and dignity to the human race.

About the last ran-in, I would like to state I am neutral. It happened during the game for the championship between RSC Anderlecht and Standard de Liège. According to the player of Standard, the American with Nigerian roots Onyewu, the player of the component, Anderlecht’s Van Damme, called him a dirty monkey. Did this really happen, I have no idea because I did not watch the game and there are so called no witnesses or if there were, they preferred to ignore it. But apart from all this did he or did he not, it should not be allowed, especially in a game like this. I can understand that when the tension gets high, things can be said, but calling each other like that… Not acceptable. Almost the whole world is crazy about football and it sets an example for many people, especially young children that join their fathers to the games of their preferred club. It is good that Italian side Juventus has been ruled to pay for the racist choirs of their supporters. I truly believe that many players, mostly those of African origin, are still discriminated and the victim of racism and maybe that is why it is good that someone with a head on his shoulder stands up for those who do not have the courage to do so, I just hope that, in this case, the things that are claimed to be said are really said if it really goes to court because innocent people don’t have to pay for those that are guilty.

I will rest my case about this for now but I hope that people will unite against discrimination and racism. It is just wrong!

Ten commandments - Relationship standards

2009-05-12T15:04:00.001+02:00

There is a point in every woman’s life where she realizes that enough is enough. I have reached that point too – or maybe I have even crossed another line, a line that makes me feel indifferent about things. Indifference because it has happened few times too often. From now on I will not lower my standards any longer – for no one.

Dear unknown – future boyfriend/husband,

I have serious doubts that there is something as a mister right on the planet earth. I seriously doubt that there is something like a serious man. If you think you are that one mister right, then I am afraid you will have to suffer and pay the deuces for all the lame boys that came before you and made me into a bitter woman. I have compromised too often, and this won’t happen again.

This is my bible; these are my “ten commandments”.

Thou shall love me for who I am – If you are only interested in physical appearance, you can better move on straight away. Few years ago I would be depressed when someone would dump me because I was too fat or too ugly, but I grew up. If a person does not want to be seen with me because of how I look, then that person is superficial and not worth the time. I am intelligent and have a bright future ahead of me; I am witty and funny, carrying and loving; if those things do not prevail physics, then I do not want to frequent you or even know you.

Thou shall never (ab)use me – Claiming to love someone just to get laid is not only the lowest thing you can come up with, it also shows your morals and respect. I’ve had people using me for their own pleasure but none of them had the balls to admit it. If you think you can be a big boy and have the right to use someone, then also have the guts to admit your actions and intentions. This also stands for abuse, whether this be emotional or physical abuse. Bringing someone down because of your own personal weakness is not tolerated; go get professional help.

Thou shall not stand in the way of my goals and future – I understand the importance of a degree and education, if you cannot accept the fact I have no time to spare during exam time or deadlines, then move on because I have no time to waste. I am not going to fail an exam or miss a deadline just to spend time with you because you cannot wait for one day to see me.

Thou shall have a degree or career – This commandment is related to the previous one. People who consider working in a factory stocking goods in trucks from 9 to 5, getting home and expecting food to be on the table and after finishing dinner, go “chill with the homies” while the wife cleans up, as a career, then I am sure we are not on the same level and that we will never have a successful relationship. I want a man that is career driven (degree or self-made man) and that is passionate about his career (career going from business to sports – as long as you understand that nothing comes for free and everything requires efforts and sacrifices.).

Thou shall respect me and see me as your equal – I am not the type of woman that obeys her man. Relationships are between equals and that is how I want to be treated. In relationships the principle of co-decision is applicable. This means that no one will ever tell me what I can or cannot do. I am not an obeying/submissive type of person and will never be one. If you are stuck in the old days when women used to stay home and be a slave to their man, you choose the wrong woman. Kindly move on.

Singstar

2009-04-17T20:21:00.002+02:00

Patience, a word that is just not in my dictionary. Yesterday mom and I drove my grandparents car to the yearly motor vehicle inspection for cars older than three year. So we were standing in line for ten minutes or so and I already started to get all bored and stuff… Luckily I found this duster in the cupboard of the car so I could give it a clean out to pass time. I wonder how many years it has been since the inside of the car last saw a vacuum cleaner. I would roughly guess a year of three, maybe four… Anyway, when we were already in half, we neared the sign that calculates the waiting time and it said forty-two minutes. I think I the courage was in my shoes at that time. I praised myself lucky the weather wasn’t as warm as few days ago because the car doesn’t have air conditioning, nor does it have a radio! And off course, the one time I leave my handbag with laptop and iPod at home is when I needed it most. So what do we do when there is no radio around? Yes, correct guess, we start humming ourselves! The play list contained songs like Not The Girl by Dare, Invisible by Jennifer Hudson, Roll It Gal by Alison Hinds, Rehab by Amy Winehouse and just when I wanted to start Umbrella by Rihanna, it was finally our turn! I survived the waiting, yet I doubt the cars around me survived my singing skills… The car passed the inspection with easy by the way!

There are two things that can make or break a day, one is love and the other one is the weather. The first is right on track! I’ve never felt so good as I am feeling right now and it seems to affect my whole attitude. I’ve never been skinny and never pulled that much attention as some of my other female friends. But ever since I know Auguste, everyone says my self-confidence grew by the second and I am just shining so hard that it is impossible not to notice me… I think they are just playing me though because I am still low-key and haven’t changed my way of walking nor dressing… Okay, besides the large sunglasses then maybe… Anyway, for the first time in my life I feel 100% comfortable in my own skin, yet I feel just plain fat compared to his “chicken chest”. I think I will start an intensive course of Zumba real soon to get rid of all the baby fat and to regain some muscles I lost when I had to put horseback riding on hold or otherwise I don’t think anything will happen with the lights on if you know what I mean… Other subject, the weather! It has been such a lovely weather the past weeks, even a bit too lovely for the time of the year, but now it has changed the past few days. It’s cold and raining all the time. It just makes me depressed! I love waking up with the sun in my eyes, birds singing… but rain? Yuck! It has one advantage though; it allows me to catch up some sleep I lost while enjoying the sun. Whenever the sun is shining, I tend to cut back sleep drastically. On a “normal” day, I often sleep between seven to ten hours a day and during weekends even more, but once the sun is there again, it is barely five or six hours. So today I woke up around six in the morning, logged on to see if my sweetie was online, went back to bed until ten, logged on again, and yet again I went to bed. I woke up around twelve-thirty, had a quick lunch, fell asleep behind my laptop until my lazy bones was texted awake… After a wonderful conversation I made dinner and now I am going to take a nap until sweetie wakes me up again! What else can you do on a rainy day besides catching up sleep? Nothing!

The play-offs have begun again and I am putting all my hopes on the Miami Heat. After the disastrous 2007-2008 seasons where they ended last of the whole league, a new start would be surely welcome! From 2006 Champions to the worst team… But hey, beating the Atlanta Hawks must be possible so fingers crossed! It’s been 6 years ago that one of the best players ever, Michael Jordan retired for good. He was just amazing and I still remember some of his best dunks or alley-oops! Seeing him play was a true pleasure to the eye!

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T15:33:00.003+02:00

Someone should punish me for not blogging daily, as I should be supposed to… But anyhow, happy Easter everybody! I know it sounds silly, but when I woke up today I took a quick peak at the garden, just to check no one left any hidden eggs for me. Ha! Really, it used to be a tradition here. Mom and dad always hid chocolate eggs in the garden for me to look on Easter. The good old days…

Talking about that “the good old days”-feeling, mom convinced me to join her and some friends from down the street to the village fair yesterday evening, probably because they needed a responsible non-alcohol drinking persona in case they ended up drunk! But anyhow, it brought back flashbacks! When I used to be little, mom and I used to spend every Wednesday and Saturday at the yearly village fair! I always wanted to go fishing or horseback riding! Hours we’ve spend at the fishing stand or waiting for the highest horse to get available. Bringing back old memories for sure! The fishing got out of my blood once I grew up, but the horseback riding didn’t! I think that even after all those years I still adore horses and, even though I was forced to quit due to a busy university schedule, I am sure that if I would get on a horse right now, I would be sold again and will start riding again frequently.

Mom starts to understand that her little girl is growing up and isn’t so little anymore and I think it sometimes hurts, so I got to take it easy on her. Or the short pain? Haha, I am evil, but not that evil… Or am I? Back to the village fair, I haven’t noticed it at all, but mom got grumpy when she noticed that a guy has been staring at me for a long while. I honestly did not even pay attention to it because I was in deep thoughts.

And I have been enjoying my new sunglasses and handbag to the fullest the past few days! It has been amazing weather (yesterday it was even around 25°C) with a lot of sun! So I have been rocking town with my hair in a tight ponytail so I could show of my new loose tunic with very special neckline that is low cut on the back. This I combined with a dark straight cut jeans, my pointy shoes and to top it off, my bracelet, handbag and sunglasses! Yes, I brought the Hollywood glamour to Belgium! No, I am not a fashion victim, I am a Diva! I am fashion-conscious but this without blindly following the latest fashion trends. I still keep my own style and won’t wear anything I don’t like, even though it is fashionable at that time.

Good news from my lip though! After a week of itching and barely being able to eat, drink and talk, it seems to be healing quite well. I still can’t move my lip like I am used to, but at least I can do most movements without pain or bleeding. But the ankle isn’t healed yet. It has been hurting for over a month now and I think I really need to X-ray it to check what is wrong. It is the same ankle I sprained like 5 years ago. It had every possible color of the rainbow back then and swollen for almost two weeks, but it healed and I never even went to see a doctor. It doesn’t look swollen now, nor does it look blue or anything, it is just these heavy pain ticks when I put pressure on the tips of my toes or stretch them…

Did anyone see those images of the earthquakes in Central Italy of the past week? Over 200 people died and the youngest one was only few months old. An estimated 1 out of 7 people that lived in the area died. I don’t want to think about that happening in my town. It is really such an awful thing… One brave woman of over 90 years old testified that she was knitting while she was waiting to be rescued! I don’t think I would have been able to keep myself that relaxed as her if I was covered under furniture and the remaining of a house. I would most likely have started to hyperventilate…

This year it has been 15 years ago the Rwandan Genocide took place. I saw a documentary of Peter Verlinden on the subject. He works for the Belgian news and is known for his Great Lake-area journalistic work. Certain things are never questioned about this tragic event. Paul Kagame has always been seen as the savior and the one that ended the tragic event, but some say that he is just as bad as the Interahamwe because his final goal was gaining political powers.

History of a Genocide, Kagame's FPR marches on, "The Killing Fields", Why the Belgians had to die and Apologies to a criminal as Kagame are misplaced. All documentaries are taken from the redactie.be news site and are either in Dutch or French with few English.

I'm spoiled!

2009-04-08T02:19:00.006+02:00

I fell with my butt in the butter the past few weeks. Last Friday I got this amazing new Guess handbag because my old one was totally wore out. Yesterday I also got new D&G sunglasses. Thank you mom for both, you are the best! I just hope that next season the sunglasses won’t go from huge to small, otherwise I am screwed. I would really hate it if I can only wear them one season. Mehn, he’s right, I am a fashion victim. I so hate it when he is right and I’m wrong.

I want to go to NYC so badly. You would think that after nagging about it for some days, my parents would get tired of it and let me go, right? I really hope this is the case because my whole heart, body, mind and soul is aching and longing to go… Keep your fingers crossed for me please!

Last night I was able to, through the help of a friend, lay my hands on the new Dare Art Alade album, un.DAREY.ted. He is one of my favorite Nigerian R&B artists, after P-Square of course. What caught my attention is that, just like on his previous album, he chooses the normal English language as the main language on the CD, just like he did on his first album, From Me 2 U. Only few tracks contained the Nigerian Pidgin English, one of them being the club banger, Carry Dey Go. But Dare got such a warm yet powerful voice. The best example is Not The Girl. This song is not really what you would expect from an R&B song, it has more this opera feeling to me, but after few listening, I did get to appreciate it, mainly because of the powerful voice and lyrics. Not his best slow song, which is Brown Eyed Angel from his precious album, but most definitely the best vocal performance.

I had this small accident while brushing my teeth a couple of days ago. While I was eagerly scrubbing my teeth, I had to sneeze (yes, the flu struck again) and did not remove my toothbrush… So the brush hit the small membrane that is situated between the lip and the under middle two teeth. Now that membrane teared a little bit! Eating, drinking, laughing, speaking,… it is all a torture. It kind of hurts a lot and doesn’t seem to get better at all.

Remembrance

2009-04-06T11:08:00.001+02:00

In Remembrance of those who lost their lives or loved ones during the horrible 1994 Rwandan Genocide. May history never repeat itself.

Summertime

2009-04-03T22:56:00.004+02:00

Not only the hour switched to summer time, but also the weather! Today it was really the best day of the year so far. It was 28°C in the sun, what is really warm for the time of the year. So what did this little lady do after class… Of course she hit the shopping streets! What is more fun than walking through the cozy yet busy Antwerp shopping streets? Hmm, hitting those shopping streets, hand in hand with that one special person maybe? Yes well, soon, very soon. Mr. Y wouldn’t mind the sun neither since he loves showing off his muscles… Haha, I did not just say that, now did I?

Whilst shopping I ran into an old friend from back in high school. She said I still looked as snobbish as I used to look back in high school. I think I was shocked. I am not a snob, I just like nice clothes and sometimes they are expensive, other times they are fairly cheap. I think she just bumped into me on a wrong day… Even though I didn’t wear extremely expensive things… Chantelle bra: 75 euro, Scapa top: 75 euro, Street One jeans: 69 euro, Silver leather Bikkembergs sneakers: 170 euro, Guess watch 160 euro, stainless steal bracelet: 100 euro, Gucci sunglasses: 390 euro and black leather handbag from Guess: 165 euro. That makes a total of 1.204 euro. It is not that horrible, right? I mean, the sneakers are 6 years old, the bracelet is 7 years old, the watch is 3 years old and the sunglasses used to belong to my mother but her eyes got bad so she can’t see through it any longer. So that makes that only the jeans, top, bra and handbag are from this or past season…

About fashion, I still keep smiling about this one quote from Mr. Y that goes like this: “If it wouldn’t hurt my business, I would be dressing like a thug”. Thank you lord for the business then! Haha! But what is so fashionable about the thug style? Jeans that are sagging on the knees, T-shirts that are four sizes too large,… I would constantly pull up his pants or even buy him suspenders for his birthday as a clear hint I don’t like the jeans. But I guess that he can wear whatever he wants because I hate it too when people tell me what I should or should not wear.

My soul for Prada shoes

2009-04-02T00:23:00.002+02:00

First of April, time really passes by really fast, too fast maybe. It’s been only yesterday that the new year had begun and already the first three months are over. It has been three educative months and I learnt who was true to me and who wasn’t. I learnt that maybe next time I should listen to the people that care about me, instead of being selfish and thinking I know everything better. But what I truly admire and appreciate is a person who I once hurt so much has the heart to forgive me and even give me another chance to give love and be loved. I cannot thank him enough for that wonderful gesture.

Today it has been 25 years since the legendary Marvin Gaye was shot death by his own father after a fight, one day before his 45th birthday. I wasn’t even born when he passed on too early, but his music lives on. I can’t help humming along when I hear Sexual Healing or I Heard It Through The Grapevine. Just legendary songs from a guy with such a strong yet soft voice.

April, April 6th to be precise, it was 15 years ago that the Rwandan Genocide begun. Well the date they officially put on that tragic event, but in real the killings started years before the plane was shut down. But then the killings weren’t orchestrated as after the presidential plane was shot down.

I want to trade my soul for Prada shoes! Allow me to explain myself. This morning I told my mother I had to go to university to print my paper. Mom used her puppy eyes on me that shoe would find it very friendly of me that I would go shopping with her afterwards. She knows how how much I hate shopping with her, but I would have felt so guilty if I denied her request. So now I need to go shopping tomorrow. I’ll be feeling like a child again, fitting all those clothes I don’t like but yet I try them on because mom likes them…

What I've learnt is that there are three types of men (four if you include the homosexual men). Type one is the man that does everything to avoid staring at a girl's décolleté and even stares unnaturally the other way, so he does not get tempted to stare. Type two are those men who act like they are sleeping and place the hand before the eye, but secretly they are staring though their fingers... The last type are those who just stare, like they don't care whether the girl notices it or not! I had all three types in front of me on the train today and yet I had no clue why they were staring because nothing to see!

Happy Birthday

2009-03-28T20:46:00.000+01:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

The comeback kid

2009-03-26T16:01:00.001+01:00

I think two years ago Belgium was mourning because one of our most successful tennis players, Kim Clijsters, decided to quit the game. It was not only her tennis skills that captured the hearts of many people, but it was also her spontaneous character and devotion the less fortuned people. She played games with disabled children, signed tennis balls, visited hospitals, adopted and Australian baby kangaroo, … All those little things made her one of the most loved players in the WTA-circuit. And now she is starting a second career! Yay! Now I have a player to cheer for during the US Open! Call it chauvinistic, but we are a very small country and we should be proud of our players.

Been having few busy days! On Monday I was in the hospital the whole day and then you just can’t get things done. Been watching cartoon network to pass the time, but the paper writing didn’t get along at all. On Tuesday I had to wake up early, had to go to the store to do the groceries and afterwards I had class from 2pm to 6pm. Yesterday I normally had class from 2-4pm, but it was postponed to 5-7pm. I refused to go though! I mean, the schedule is fixed last August, and now it is the end of March already. In the 6 weeks time (from half February when classes started again) until now, that guy has given his course only once on the regular hour! Why does he have to right to put an announcement on the internet (if we are lucky) the night before or if we have bad luck, the same day at the door, that class is postponed, sometimes even postponed for 4 hours! Any working human being knows that when you have a schedule, you have to respect that and not postpone it every time because you want to do other things at the time! Try it yourself, go to your boss and say you don’t agree with the hours and want to adjust them! I am sure that boss will just laugh at you and show you the door! Then why can he?! Today was yet another busy day. Because mom can’t do anything with her arm, I had to wash her hair. I think I ended up just as wet as her hair! Afterwards we went shopping and I bought this cute tunic! The neckline is totally adorable! Can’t wait for the weather to be burning hot!

So tomorrow is my birthday. The first one that dares to wish me happy birthday will be stoned to death! I just can’t help it, but I am feeling the birthday blues already. In 9 years time I’ll be 30 years old and in 29 years time I’ll be 50… A half century… All the wrinkles and gray hair… Wish I could be forever young… Forever young, I want to be forever young…

I’m so looking forward to next week Monday, March 30! I cannot tell why, but I am really excited! I might tell you later why I was this excited, but for now my lips are sealed!

Smashing fashion

2009-03-22T19:14:00.003+01:00

Last year I fell in love with this yellow Dolce & Gabbana dress and I have regretted not buying it all summer long. It was a so pretty and girly, yet very expensive, a bit too expensive to be honest, even for a girl like me who can spend a lot of money on quality clothing. I know there will be some stock sales one of the following months, so I really hope I will be able to find that dress. Fingers crossed!

Shoes! I also need new shoes! The last few pairs I bought were so nice and all but my feet are killing me! For real, I can’t even walk on them for 10 minutes without having open flesh wounds all over the place. Whoever said beauty is pain was right…

Jeans, hate the new flared leg trend. See the skinny leg trend didn’t look on me because I am kind of short, the high waist jeans never fit because I have large hips but a small waist so it was either too small on my hips and good in the waist or too large in the waist and perfect on the hips. But now those so-called elephant legs… please no, don’t bring ABBA back!

What I do like this summer are the very female looking tunics. I just love the pretty and girly things. Either a loose one with this large colorful floral print combined with a monotone wooden necklace (you know, the one with the small balls) or a simple plain one combined with colorful and catchy shoes! Summer is so my favorite fashion season!

I do have one summer mission though! No actually two. The first challenge is to loose one more jeans size. The second challenge is to get tanned this summer so I can finally wear white for a change!

News or no news at all, that is the question?

2009-03-20T13:24:00.000+01:00

And the answer to that question is huge and shocking news, but it is not yet ready to be posted. Soon though, very soon. I know, showing patience is not the most pleasant thing you can wish for, but I promise you the patience will be worth it. It will be a long, very long story with a huge shock-effect attached to it. Some may already know parts of it, but even for them, there will be many other things left to unveil. I cannot set a fixed date though; it can be tomorrow or in 6 months.

I am currently outside at one of the school’s open spaces and it is lovely. The first day of spring and the sun wants to show what it is worth, or so it seems. Everything is perfect, except for the guy with the cancer stick blowing his smoke in my direction. I don’t want class anymore, it is just too lovely outside to be stuck in some dark room with no natural light.

It is official; I hate men and their behavior. This morning, I was on my way to class and because the weather was already good, I left out my scarf. Now I was wearing this long blue sweater with a soft green with design shirt underneath it that was buttoned till just above “the” area. So it looked like you could see a lot, but in fact you could not see a single thing. Now there was this guy cleaning the street and at the red light, I had to stop and wait. Now the guy came up to me and was flirting, eyes pinned on my breasts. Am I some kind of sexual object?! Don’t think so!

Under the motto “screw your fellow student”, a real life story that happened at my own university last exam period, but that has only come to ears just now. Apparently, there was a student last January that has been cheating and used his phone to receive the answers on his exam. The girl, who was sitting three lines behind him, saw this and informed the professor about this after she had finished her exam. The other student has been called and had to appear in front of a judge. Result: a re-sit of all his exams of that year, even the ones he passed already. Golden rule: if you cheat, always delete the things on your phone as soon as you left the room!

In the mean while, the whole place is totally empty around me is totally empty. The only sounds I hear is the tapping of my keyboard and the ambulance that is driving around town. Only few more minutes and I’ll have to leave for class. Oh what a wonderful world this could be…

On the Pope, domestic violence and many more

2009-03-18T23:42:00.003+01:00

I could not believe my ears when the Pope said the following few days ago:

“AIDS is a tragedy that cannot be overcome by money alone, that cannot be overcome through the distribution of condoms, which even aggravates the problems.”

This reminds me why I voluntarily choose not to believe in any religion whatsoever. Probably just to avoid adoring a “leader” that pronounces dangerous crap like this. Yes, dangerous! As a lawyer-to-be, I support freedom of speech big time, but when I read statements like this, I sometimes think that religious censorship might be introduced again. In law, you have to compare benefits. I rate the benefit of freedom of speech highly, but not high enough to overcome the possible negative/dangerous “benefits” from the statement. In Africa, the church is very important and when the “reincarnation-of-God-on-earth” says you should not use condoms, than that will most likely have a huge effect on people. So this can seriously undermine the work aid workers have been doing for years.

I’ve been keeping quiet about the Rihanna – Chris Brown case but now I think it is time to speak out about my stance on the whole issue. Let me say first that I am against any kind of violence, and especially in a relationship, one of the few places your should feel safe. Men should never lay hands on women, but that rule also counts for women! Violence is never an answer when things don’t seem to go so well in a relationship. Communication or a time apart to think can help, but violence? No, never. If a man ever lays hands on me, I would surely leave him without any hesitation. Should Rihanna leave Chris? Well he has done something he should not have done, but rumor has it she has laid hands on him before too so it goes both ways. Should she set a good example to all her fans that are yet to go through the same stuff they went through and those who are going through the same thing? Well it might already be a little too late for that right now…

If you want beef, you can get one. This goes out to one of my professors. I’m not going to start calling names, but this guy is horrible. Allow me to give some examples: he is forcing us to take a book of statutes with us each time we attend his class. But those books are so heavy that it is a real torture to carry them. Some smarty-pants came up with the idea to set up a turn role so you only have to carry it with you every other week. When he noticed that, he made definitely the quote of the year:

"You do not exchange your husband, neither do you exchange your book of statutes".

Really, if he said that to me, I would have popped out something like “don’t be so old-fashioned and move with your time”. So today some friends and I were sitting in the back because that is the only place to plug in our laptops to the net power supply. Now the guy came up to us and demanded we would go sit on the first row. Really, we have grown this old and now we can’t even choose where we take a seat? I seriously doubt if I should attend his classes any longer if he fucks this a second time. The guy was standing in front of us and he yelled so loud for two hours in a row that my head was almost exploding.

Sometimes I am really scared of getting old. Take for example my granddad. He has always been a strong man who has started working from a very young age. Eight years ago he has suffered from a cardiac arrest. Luckily he pulled through but that was the start from the whole decay. Few years later he was diagnosed cancer, he pulled through. Some thing yet another few years later. But the past years it really went downwards very fast. He has been loosing his memory and can barely remember what has been said only minutes ago. He has also problems reminding people, sometimes I have the feeling he doesn’t even remember his own goddaughter any longer. Today yet another symptom has surfaced, violence. When my father arrived there, my grandmother was crying and granddad was yelling cruel things at her. When my dad came in between, granddad started hitting him. The thing is we all remember what has happened, but granddad himself doesn’t remember it. To him it is like it never has happened. It really hurts to see him like that because he is the only granddad I have left and I used to be with him and grandmother every day when mom and dad were at work. Life can be so cruel to nice people who only deserve the best and not this struggle.

Just to end with a more positive note. I never really liked Brandy, but I am crazy about her new single Right Here (Departed). Enjoy!

Whereabouts

2009-03-13T14:12:00.002+01:00

It has been a while since I last posted something in here. I know I should be punished for that. It would be easy to blame a busy class schedule for it, but the fact is that I had more of a writer’s block than a lack of time. But now I am back and I’ll give a short update about my whereabouts.

Today is Friday the 13th and some scriptwriter came up with the idea to portray a death sparrow on one of the busiest shopping streets in Antwerp. It was a funny sight though. A very large, yet fake sparrow was lying on the floor, covered up in a white sheet but you would see blood everywhere. Fake blood of course… And to make the whole scenery complete, the artist has those “do not cross” police palisade and fake police agents walking around the “crime scene”. It was a funny sight and the goal was to make people understand that, in modern day society, people get scared for the smallest things, even when they are not (completely) aware of what is going on.

Yesterday I started writing my paper, yes that one assignment I have gotten way back in November but that I had hidden far far away… I think I was suffering from cold sweat when I realized it had to be finished in three weeks! So much work to do and so little time… So I’ll be spending all my free time working on that one, hoping it will be done before my birthday, which one is in two weeks from now.

I must admit, with the cheeks red of shame, that I have done a lot of shopping the past weeks. It has to be done too, non? Ha, I know, the “it has to be done too” has a whole different meaning for us women. I bought a new jeans because all my old ones are a whole size too big, a new super cute pajamas and new shoes. It is getting warmer so the shopping bug inside me has woken up! Now I only need a new summer jacket because the old one I have is, yes you guessed it correctly, too large and too old.

Last Monday I went to the dentist and she wanted to put me under anesthesia. She saw my “stay away with the needle” face and asked me if I wanted to do it without the anesthesia. I agreed but boy did it hurt; yet I refused and kept refusing the needle. Yes, I am crazy, but it is just the fact that I am scared to death when it comes to those shiny little things that go inside my skin… Ahgr, I am getting Goosebumps when I think about it. So be it, the whole procedure without anesthesia and I must say that my dinner consisted of ice cream that evening…

Men, they will always be a species of its own. Sigh… When I arrived at school on Wednesday, my feet killing me because of my trendy yet painful shoes, s guy asked me why I even wore them when I knew they would hurt. Is it that hard to get for the opposite species that it is all about fashion? Do men really think we were those things for pleasure? No, it is all about looking stunning, seductive and pulling attention. Pain? It is all relative and a state of mind…

Zumba!

2009-03-02T22:47:00.001+01:00

I always hated workouts; nothing seemed more horrible than sweating in the gym working your butt of at some fitness device. But now I have found my alpha and omega for sure and my booty will rock this summer. My secret? I found this workout course that is a hype in the United States (especially Miami area) and it is called Zumba. It is a workout inspired by the Latin dance. So you are basically working your butt off but having great fun at the same time (so you don’t realize how intense it truly is). I hope this can bring back my great muscular legs and derrière I used to have back in the days when I practiced horseback riding. You should have seen them back then, strong as granite! The waist can be a bit more tight too if I want to rock some high waisted jeans this summer. I don’t want to have people calling me too fat like they did with Jessica Simpson (and she isn’t even fat, she is a normal sized woman!).

We need to hand in our paper at the end of this month and when I started collecting and copying the information and sources I need, I felt warm and cold at the same time! That was a lot of reading to do. Around 200 pages in total I think. And that just for writing a damn paper. Plus what bothers me is that the paper was meant as a 2-semester subject and we only received our judgment half November and it has to be finished end March… That is not a 2-semester subject! The first semester starts in September and the second one ends end of June… And us poor students just have to accept it, like we have no social life at all! I know, I am nagging again, probably because I had to wake up at 6am.

Had to go to the dentist today for a check-up that I have been postponing for 5 months already. I hate demists for real! I was so happy and glad when the dentist said my teeth looked fine. Yet she wanted to take an x-ray just to be sure she didn’t miss anything and she would call me that evening if I needed to come back… 8pm and no call so I was already smiling and all until some moments the creepy call came that she found some very small holes. It was a real “nah fuck” thought that popped into mind. I so hate needles and her drilling my teeth with one for at least 30 straight minutes isn’t a very attractive expectancy. Call me a cry-cry if you want, but I suffer from a severe form of Trypanophobia (needle phobia). Seeing a needle, even when that needle isn’t going in my own skin, causes nauseas and me to go all pale.

I just received a call from my niece saying she has found my perfume! I finally have a new bottle of White Patchouli by Tom Ford. I can’t help it but I love both his fragrances (maybe Black Orchid even more than White Patchouli). It is those fragrances you either love or hate. They are both very strong ones and smell different on each skin.

7 sinners

2009-02-27T23:22:00.000+01:00

I’m dying, I am poisoned! … Hmm you’re lost? Understandable… Let me tell you what has happened. Today I saw this yellow pudding like thing in the kitchen, so I assumed it was just vanilla pudding. I took a spoon, plunged in it and started licking it. At that moment I realized it was no pudding at all but gross avocado liquor. I drank almost a full bottle of water to get rid of that horrible taste in my mouth but it just didn’t want to go away. Puke! Absolutely gross!

I once made a promise that I would not talk about black men and how much adoration I had towards them because some say it made me look like I loved every guy as long as he was black. Because that was not true and because I also wanted to prove it was not true, I decided to minimize the share of black men in my blog entries. I already broke that promise last time with the part of The Nude Book, and today I am going to break that some promise yet again. But understand that there is a difference: I do not like every black man on this planet, only very few actually, but I do like watching a fine black man. Does that make it a sin? Lust can be a sin, but there is no lust involved in this. Lust is when you desire the body you see, tempted to touch it and do certain things with it. That is not what I am about, when I see a picture of a gorgeous looking man, I look at it with the idea in mind that he looks beautiful, but never with the idea that I like him over his body or over the fact he is black. This is probably something very difficult, or almost impossible to understand for many men because they often have a different look at beauty and beautiful things. So screw all the preconceptions people might have when they read this but I like watching beautiful things and that includes gorgeous men but also young horse playing in the spring sun or cute little puppies!

Where was I? Oh yes breaking the promise! Well I found this one blog that gave me some serious inspiration about certain things! Get your mind out of the gutter Lolu, I am a good girl and I’ve always been. But what I was thinking was that I should make this “hunk of the month” competition! Everyone knows that, to me, the stereotype of the perfect male (just the looks, not based on personality) is Tyson Beckford. Because I don’t want to fall into stereotypes nor do I want to be predictable, I will not nominate Mr. Beckford for hunk of the month, but instead I will go for … Mathieu Edward. He is a French singer who was the runner up in Star Academy 7 and released his first album last year that was a nice mixture of up-tempo R&B and more soulful ballads. What I like about this guy are, beside the voice, his eyes. They got a special shape that makes them both rare and mysterious.

In exactly one month, I turn 21. Geez, am I getting that old already? It seemed only yesterday that I was rocking my diapers and now I am already getting my first wrinkles and grey hair. Sniff sniff, cry cry. I don’t want to get older anymore. I hope they soon find a spell for eternal youth. Joking, or not…

Monday 2009/02/23

2009-02-23T22:25:00.002+01:00

I hate winter for sure. The lack of sun is taking up all my energy that is left in my body. So just to fool my mind a little bit, I decided to make one of my favorite summer dishes, being home made sun dried tomatoes with fresh basil bread, it tastes the best when it is still a bit warm, with a mozzarella topping. So I started looking for fresh basil, but I never imagined it would be this hard to find some! The supermarkets didn’t have it fresh, only packed in plastic and that just doesn’t taste the same. After some more store hopping I finally found fresh basil and also the sun dried tomatoes. So I got home, chopped the tomatoes and basil in smaller pieces, mixed it through the bread paste and put it in the oven… After two hours the whole house smelled like a southern casa… After cooling down for a few hours, the bread was ready to be eaten. I opened the mozzarella and topped it on the bread together with Italian Parma ham. Tricking my mind into believing it is summer didn’t work but it tasted damn good!

I’ve been listening to Grandmaster Flash’ new album yesterday. For those who do not know him, please just keep living in denial that 50 Cent is the best rapper and did not contribute a large part to killing true hip-hop. The album was ok but nothing more than ok. I mean I am still stuck in the days when Grandmaster Flash & the Furious 5, Eric B. & Rakim, Afrika Bambaataa, … ruled the world of hip-hop. This album makes an effort to go back to those days, but yet I feel they did not dare to turn back the time completely because many younger listeners might not like the raw and edgy music hip-hop used to be… Talking about those younger listeners who never got to live the hip-hop golden years (to me it was the late 80s and early 90s), I saw this one poll that almost caused a heart attack. It was about classic hip-hop and there was a question about who is the most influential rapper. Tupac Amaru Shakur was voted the most influential rapper. This I can still understand because he had some very deep lyrics that portrayed social awareness, even though I still believe that his death has something to do with his status because he is not the best rapper when it comes to his flow, that is hands down Rakim, but the way he died made him an icon. Personally, I doubt he would have been this famous if he were still alive. Though I am happy his legacy lives on and that I am a proud owner of all his CDs. But back to the poll, some 13-year-old girls found it necessary to vote for Soulja Boy as most influential rapper ever because he was rated higher than Rakim. For Christ sake! What did that kid prove? One thing for certain: how to make a crappy hit single about a ridiculous dance that 13 year old boys and girls like dancing to. Everyone knows I am a Rakim fan and for a reason. Ask any true hip-hop fan or do your own research about the development of hip-hop and you will see how everyone was amazed by this totally new flow he introduced to the game… Many rappers follow his lead (or just roughly copy his stile), for example Nasir Jones in One Mic (considered as one of the best hip-hop songs). So if Soulja Boy is considered a great influence on hip hop and its development, then I prefer to be stuck in the early days of hip hop and never take a leap to the present.

Something totally different and controversial, or not if you know me. A black man’s body is just superior to any other race. Well not only the body, also the mind, soul and history, but that I will save for a later entry if you allow me. Today I prefer to focus on the body. I was reading one of the blogs I follow and it had an entry about The Nude Book, a book that focuses on portraying the black body in a very artistic way, even as a tribute to the beauty God created. The author slash photographer Ogundiran says he wants to make the physiques of his models "look glorious and desirable" and for the book to "bring together all shades of black, different body types, diverse attitudes and the originality of what a beautiful black man is." I’ve seen some previews from the book and I must say he succeeded in his goal. Some men are the most handsome ones I have ever seen, not in a sexual manner, but in a creative and artistic way.

Update

2009-02-21T19:29:00.000+01:00

It has been a long while since I posted something on here. It is not that I did not have time, it is just that I had no idea what to write. I think you could say that I have some sort of writer’s block and nothing really exciting happened to me…

I do want to let out some frustration though. I am sick and tired of living at home, and this for a very simple reason, the only reason actually: my mother! Last Friday she hit me a black eye because I didn’t want to get out of ‘her’ sofa, Thursday she forced me to sit on the train for hours just to go get my exam results (she just couldn’t stand the fact that I was home 5 whole days and she had to work) and today she put this hideous closet in my bedroom while she damn well knows I hate closets in my bedroom. I’m just sick and tired of her. All she needs to do is back off, but no, she wants everything her way. I already threw the closet out of the room again and I received the threat that if it isn’t in my room again very soon, she’ll kick me out of the house. That would actually be a blessing!

Valentine’s Day is just the worst day of the year for multiple reasons! First reason is that it is just too commercial. Everywhere you go, you see roses, hearts and everything that goes with it. Second, it is too smooch! Why does someone need a day to show that they love that person? Every day should be memorable and special. Fine, I admit, I shed a small tear when I received this one Valentine’s wish… But that was it!

Some days ago TMZ released pictures of a beaten up Rihanna. No man should ever lay his hands on a woman. I really hope she doesn’t go back to him because Chris needs serious help with his anger! And with this one are his CD’s deleted from my iTunes library!

And oh, Lolu, thanks for the preaching. Let’s just hope it works out. Deep down I think I still hope it works out, even though I know I should not hope on it… We’ll discuss that some day over the phone or chat.

The voyage of life

2009-02-09T15:51:00.000+01:00

After all the misery I had the past week, I needed time to think, time to renew my energy. This was the main reason I fled to Paris. A friend of mines bought an apartment building over there, but that was only an excuse I used to escape my emotions and environment. Apartment isn't the right word though, it is more like a ruins. I would have taken a picture of it if my camera's battery didn't bail out on me. Anyway, with a lot of work, those apartments can turn into beauties.

Paris has always had a special place in my heart. It is only a four hours drive from my home, but most of all, it is the town that largely contributed to make me the woman I am today. Many important changes have happened in that town and those changes have had a large impact on my life. Those who know me personally might know what I am talking about, for those who don’t, never mind, it is not that important.

I will try to show you why Paris has been this important in my life and maybe then you might understand why I always flee to this city when I have something in mind.

Eiffel Tower - Early forenoon

I believe it was the early 90s, 1990 or 1991 I think. This was my first contact with Paris. Because there was no Belgian surgeon that could help me, my parents ended up in France, looking for one that could help me. It wasn’t a life threatening illness or anything; it was just a little something. So as a little kid, I ended up in this large Paris hospital for a surgery that would change my life drastically. It has brought change in my life, positive change, but it often also made me the centre of derision. So from a young age, I’ve learnt to just let people talk and don’t pay attention to it. It hasn’t always been easy because people can be cruel. But in the end, I should praise myself very lucky because even though I don’t remember much of those months I’ve spend there, I do remember one of the other patients. I believe it was this young Indian girl and she had pins in her head attached to this device so the neck/back didn’t have to carry the weight. It was so much worse than what I had to deal with and yet she was always smiling and I don’t think I’ve ever seen her cry. So if she can be happy with her disabilities, then why couldn’t I?

Eiffel Tower @ night - Apartment (or should I say ruins?) view

Over the years I had to go back at least six to seven times a year for a regular check-up. But the last years, we had found someone closer to home so we didn’t have to drive all the way up to Paris. So that was the end of my relationship with Paris, or so I thought.

As a child, you look at things differently than as a grown-up. I don’t remember much from the early years, only some events/things. The first thing I think about is the reflecting glass before entering Paris capital itself. I still don’t know what the wall was for, but it was made of reflecting mirrors in flashy yellow, green and red. My mom always had to wake me up when we passed the wall because I was totally fascinated by it. Another thing I remember was this snack bar close to the hospital. It really had the best Croque Monsieur’s I ever ate. We always went to eat at that place after our consultation with the surgeon and I don’t think I ever ordered something else than a Croque. My last vague memory was this tower I could overlook from my hospital bed. It had all these colorful designs on it. I do remember there was a tower, but I cannot remember how it really looked like. One thing I do remember vividly. I was around three and a half years old and mom, granddad and I went to the hospital for a check-up. Granddad was outside parking the car and mom and I already went in. Because I still had trouble walking, mom had a buggy for me. She told me to get in the elevator already so she could close the buddy so it would fit in the elevator with us. But when she was closing it, an old couple entered the elevator and instead of holding the door open, they closed it and we went up. Mom was still outside the elevator and I was in it, going up to an unknown destination. My granddad had entered the building and saw it happening. He ran up the stairs and he arrived almost at the same time as I did with the elevator at the ninth floor. I was crying, mom was crying and ever since, I never went into an elevator before the buggy was closed.

When growing up, things you loved as a kid loose their charms. When I saw the glass wall again last Friday, I smiled because it made me think about how much I adored it as a kid, but I didn’t feel the same admiration anymore. Sunday I decided it was time for a Croque Monsieur, but I was so disappointed when I noticed that the snack bar was no longer there and now served as what I think looked like an illegal drug pawn. That tower looked kind of grey and not so colorful, or maybe they just cleaned up the graffiti. This Paris wasn’t the same anymore as when I last left it. I wasn’t the same anymore neither. Paris watched me grow from a little kid to a young teenager, and now it witnessed me as a young woman. It feels like the circle as complete.

We both changed and I think I was somewhat disappointed at first because I had surrealistic expectations. But now I am happy I returned to the wonderful town with its Eifel Tower, Louvre and Champs Elysées. It made me realize that everything changes; feelings, towns and people. Too much change at once is never pleasant, but we all need change. I think I put a step in the right direction this weekend. Accepting that change is happening and that you cannot fight change, no matter how hard you try is a big accomplishment…

Inspirational

2009-02-01T21:51:00.003+01:00

This is some video I found. It is really inspirational. Listen to it, I'm sure it doesn't need any more explaining.

PS: happy birthday Lolu

Shall we dance?

2009-01-28T20:31:00.003+01:00

Exams are finally over and I am death tired. I think I passed two or three out of five. The one I had yesterday was really crappy. I couldn't help but mixing up all the legal terms. It was really hard and the professor enjoyed torturing me with those horrible questions. She smelled blood and came to get her prey. Too bad it was a she and not a he. Two years ago I had this male professor who was just staring at my boobs the whole time. I think I've told you already about this in one of my first posts on this blog. He gave me a 16 I believe. So now I know how much my boobies are rated, a 16. But back then I didn't wore push ups, so maybe now they are worth a 18? Ha! Just tripping. I rather fail an exam than earning the marks with my boobs.

Been watching Save the Last Dance some days ago. It was either that one or Sometimes In April, and because I was already depressed enough, I wisely choose not to watch Sometimes In April. But back to Save the Last Dance. Wish I could dance like Sara (Julia Styles). Not to mention Derek (Sean Patrick Thomas). Now see this guy is just cute as hell. Not cute as in sexy, but cute as in wish-I-could-pinch-those-cheeks cute. You have guys that are cute and f*ckable, and others are absolutely not bed material because they are just too innocent looking. I think the Sean Patrick Thomas thing is mainly caused by the role of Temple Page role he used to play in The District. He played this devoted Christian guy while his partner was this woman craving detective. I do miss it. While everybody loved NYPD Blue, I was into The District.

But enough about that, for those who saw Save the Last Dance, do you remember that scene in the movie where Sara and Derek where on the tram to the Chicago ballet? The white lady who couldn't see them together? Sometimes you wonder if there are still people like that. Yes there are and I received the prove today. There was this Australian dickhead who sent this to me through Facebook: your parents must be proud a millenia of proud white heritage and now your a whore for third world negroes. What the fuck, get a life man. If you don't like interracial relationships, then that is your problem, but don't send racist comments to random people. If he said this to my face, he would have to search his fucking teeth on the damn floor!

Talking about Facebook, someone logged into my account. Lord knows how he/she had the password. I changed it now, but I'm sure the person who retrieved it earlier will also be able to retrieve this one eventually. I have no idea why someone would be interested in my profile. I mean it's not like I am this very interesting profile and interesting messages in my inbox. I'm even something like boring and absolutely not interesting.

Bloody Friday

2009-01-23T21:35:00.008+01:00

Today, some sick twenty year old man caused a massacre in a day care center, stabbing thirteen people. Two children and one adult already died and ten other children are in the hospital. It is rumored that one of those children in the hospital has lost the battle, making the total deaths four. What came into the mind of this fool is not yet known because he refuses any co-operation with the police. No one here can understand why someone would go and stab little children, some whom not older than 6 months. It is inhuman and one can only wonder why this person was still walking around and not locked up in a mental institution.

I've always been this optimistic person, full of joyfulness and happiness. But that joyfulness has turned into bitter determination. Determined to hang on to that person that belongs to me. That bitter determination to fight for he who is destined to share his life with me. Happiness doesn't come for free and something is only worth it when you have to fight for it. This is not about him, this is not about others, this is my battle. I'm not going to let destiny walk by, I am going to bite myself into that destiny like only a Pitbull can and I will not give in on destiny this time. There is this big, black and empty hole where my heart used to be. That hole is filled with pain and self pity. Self pity because I want happiness and because I deserve to have him close. I'm a good girl and I deserve to have some luck this time. But that self pity won't help us in any way. The only thing that can be done is continue the battle. Building upon the work I did in the past months, continue to build right now and in the future, whether that be far or near, I will get what I deserve. I will embrace destiny and there in nothing that can stop me from fulfilling that what I am destined to fulfill. I swear, in front of God and the whole blog world, I will fulfill my own destiny. Nothing comes in easy and I accept this hard and long battle. Rome wasn't build in one day, and it survived the hands of time. So will I and my destiny survive this long battle. My love is too strong to let go, so help me God, help me to succeed and guide me on this long journey. The pain is real and deep, but giving up is and will never be an option. Hold on to the one you love and never give up on something you truly believe in. Like I said before, it is no one else battle, not even his battle, this is my own battle for something that is right. It is just me, myself and I and that is all there is to it.

Nkunda is arrested in Rwanda. That this has happened is kind of strange. It is known that Kigali supported the troops of Nkunda in the past. But the last months Nkunda turned in a warrior. Instead of assuring the Rwandan interests in the trade around the Kivu area, he became this crazy landlord who had other interests than the task Kigali gave him. Will this bring peace? Most likely not. The Kivu area is "rich" and there will probably another person waiting to take his chance... Kinshasa also wants to work together with the Rwandan government to disarm the FDLR, which is something like a mission impossible because the FDLR lives deep in the country and already mixed with the original Congolese people. In the end, this is just another reason to start the same war over and over: a fight over the rich soil...

The golden boot

2009-01-21T23:12:00.002+01:00

I do wonder if breathing is an actual requirement in order to stay alive because every time I inhale, my chest hurts! I am very surprised I did not yet cough my lungs out by now. You can compare me to those small white Maltese dogs, that bark all the time. I am like that too right now. Coughing 24/7, even I get annoyed by it myself. I am even forced to drink this yummy syrup (mind the sarcasm) that makes my stomach function not so normal... Also my taste is still kind of messed up. No not my taste in men because that is still high quality (kidding of course) but my actual taste. It's been three days in a row that I am eating my eggy bread. Now I know that so many eggs in one week are not healthy at all, but what am I supposed to do? I mean nothing tastes good. The sesame baguettes I normally adore tasted all bitter and gross that I had serious problems swallowing it. Strawberry jam didn't taste like strawberry but more like a lemon, fish tasted like garbage and so on...

I think I had the best laugh in a very long time this evening. I've been warned by someone I knew that I had to watch "the golden boot" on television. At first I was wondering why that person advised me to watch a gala for the best soccer player of the year... But the curiosity got the best of me so I watched it. I did not regret it at all! Thanks to my connections I knew something was happening, knowing little Jos a bit I could expect something dared, but this, no way! This is the reason why I had to watch:

I got to give props to him for doing this. I mean, he is not a professional singer and yet he had the guts to get on that stage and do his thing. Not many people know this, but when he is free on Sunday, he sings for a gospel church somewhere in Brussels, or at least that is what he used to do when he still played for Charleroi. Not the next Paul Okoye, but not so bad right? Lolu won't agree with me on this one though, but Jos is cuter than Paul! He was nice dressed too. The shirt made has arms look nicely muscled. Oh boy, not to mention the ass... Ha, enough about this or someone gets really jealous...

I just had my worst exam ever today. This professor is the biggest jerk ever. No this is not a mad student reacting against her teacher, but I can really strangle him like Homer strangles Bart! I was having my exam when he started eating his apple. He stopped biting, looked at me and asked: "If this apple causes a food poisoning, who can I hold responsible?". I wanted to answer: "Yourself because in first order, a normal and careful person always washes the apple because he/she knows it is sprayed with pesticides. In second order are you still responsible because an apple that is showing marks both on and also already under the peel is not safe to eat any longer". Well because this probably would have gotten me a zero, so just to hide that I didn't have any idea, I just answered "the store where you bought it" and I was allowed to leave...

January 17th 2009

2009-01-17T15:04:00.003+01:00

Light headed whenever I raise my head up, feeling shivers all over my body while I am boiling inside and cherry red cheeks. Head feels like it has been stuck under the train. All of the sudden I realized it: I am in...fected by the damn flu. Yesterday around 2 pm, I started having this serious head ache. Initially I thought it was due to a lack of sleep, so I went to take a nap. But around 8 pm, I started feeling cold while it was fairly warm inside the house. Then I knew I had the damn flu. I barely slept last night because every move made me feel more nauseas. My neck is all blocked and I could use a massage. It got so bad that at a certain time, I couldn't even open my eyes or the head ache would get unbearable. Now it is slightly better, yet the smallest sound causes pains, even the tip-taping of my keyboard. So my apologies to Lolu for not picking up my phone. I saw it ringing but my head didn't allow me to pick up. I will surely give you a scream when I am feeling better.

Did anyone see the images about the plane ending up in the Hudson river? The pilot did a great job because doing heroic things like in New York with its skyscrapers, is not easy at all. But this is yet another reason for me to stay out of a plane for the next 10 years. I think after 9/11, the plane crashes (including the one in Belgium last year) and now this, I prefer not to fly too high... I know that the plane is one of the safest way to transport yourself, much safer than a car, but yet you feel much more helpless when you are in a plane. Or at least that is how it feels psychologically. When you drive a car, you feel like you are in control of it but often this is just a fake thought because no matter how careful you are, (fatal) accidents happen very often.

I heard Bush' last speech yesterday. That guy is really full of himself, now isn't he? His war on terror as prevention for a new terroristic attack... Please that is the biggest sophism ever! Or that the United States are the only country that can bring world piece and spread democracy like they did in Iraq. Or Bush who claims he handled the economical crisis very well... I could continue like this for days. What is sure is that Bush won't let the public, the media or anyone else but himself decide whether his 8 year rule was successful or not. Thank the lord it is all over now! Yet I feel the whole Obama-mania is somehow getting out of proportion. Don't get me wrong because I am happy he will be the next president, but somehow people seem to forget he is the president of America and not of the whole world. Yes he will bring change, but mostly change for the Americans. He won't be able to change the world policies and he will still think first about the American interests when he acts. Obviously less than self-centered Bush... So yes people can identify themselves them with Obama until a certain level, but expressions like "MY president is black" or saying that you can only understand this while you are "truly American and black, like himself" when you aren't American, or never even been to America and have no connection with America whatsoever is in my humble opinion a little bit exaggerated. I'm sure many people will shoot me, go ahead, just my two cents...

Currently, I feel like Akon's second hit single, lonely. Being sentenced to bed rest isn't fun, especially when the person you want to be with is not there to keep you company (whether online or in person). It makes a girl sulk and even feel neglected. lol Yes our female creatures feel abandoned and neglected when we don't get enough attention when we need it most.

The roof is on fire!

2009-01-14T21:23:00.004+01:00

I don't want to offend blond girls, but are they really that stupid? Today we had an exam when all of the sudden the fire alarm went off. The blond assistant who had to "watch us" was like: "normally we should all go outside, but let's all sit down so we can wait and see what the people in the other room will do". I already finished my exam and was just re-reading it so I was like here you go and see you later, handed in my paper and safely left the building. Was there a real fire? Don't know, probably not because I am sure that if the university was indeed on fire, it would have been on the news. But still, what if there was a real fire in the central hall? We were cellar and there were only two ways up, one at each side of a central hall. She seemed more worried about the exam papers than about us pupils...

Under the motto "make a fool out of yourself", let us watch to our new President State of the European Union, Czechia. To celebrate that Presidency, they ordered this sort of painting. It was supposed to be a painting made by 27 artists, one artist for each European Union country. Turns out the artists who were mentioned did not excist and were just a cover up for Cerny, the one (and only) artist. Belgium was portrayed by a chocolate box and waffle, while Bulgaria was the toilet of Turkey. Can Europe laugh with themselves? Will they accept this political satire? I highly doubt it.

It is proven that Belgium is and never will be the best student of the class. Some days ago our Assisen procedure was found incompatible with article 6 of the Convention for the Protection of Human Rights and Fundamental Freedoms (fair trial). This because our jury in Assisen doesn't have to explain why they decided that a person is found guilty. But if you look closer at the judgment, you can see that the ECHR had problems with the fact that, in this case, the jury only had to answer 4 questions. If they had to answer for example 20 questions, could this be considered as some sort of explanation? But this judgment could have serious consequences for previous cases. Some "killers" were also sent to jail based on only 4 or 5 questions. Luckily there are plans to reform the procedure.

I was browsing through this concert guide and saw that Ne-Yo was performing in Antwerp the ... 26th... Now this sucks because the next day I have my last exam. I know my mom so asking if I could go anyway would be useless since I know she would slap some sense in my head. Better luck next time I guess... It's not that I am a huge Ne-Yo fan but the guy has some good songs once in a while.

Verloren Maandag

2009-01-12T16:36:00.004+01:00

Mom asked me to tape some program for her, but I forgot which one though. I will have to browse through the TV-guide and see what she would most likely watch. Anyway, the reason why I am telling you this is because I needed a tape to record it on. So I was FWD'ing through some old long forgotten tapes when I bumped into this episode of Telefacts. It is a Belgian program that bring reportages about different subjects and this episode was about submissive wifes.

There were three American wifes who voluntarily behaved like the "classic household pattern": the man is the boss and the wife is the... let me look at it from a feminist point of view... the slave. They could only speak when they are spoken to, the man writes her a to-do list before going to work, he chooses her clothes and basically decides everything like... a dictator.

I'll be honest here, I could and would never be like them. Women have been held down for ages and my ancestors have battled for equality. I will never let that battle become useless, I will never let anyone tell me what I should or shouldn't do (besides my parents) because I have a mind of my own. I can make my own decisions and I do not need a man to gain control over my life and turn my life into his life. I'm not a puppet who's strings you can pull whenever you like.

My relationship standards are obviously different from theirs. What I want is a man who respects me and doesn't consider the "classic role patterns" as normal at all. Let me explain myself better. Rule number one: in a relationship you make joined decisions. I need a guy who would ask "Hey, what do you think of this?", instead of a guy who is like "This is what I want and that is also how it is going to be". Rule number two: I don't like cleaning neither so either we hire someone who does the cleaning or you could help a hand. My dad does it and he survived it, so can you. Rule number three: I will not become a housewife. See I am working my ass off in university to get that law degree, so don't expect me to do nothing with it later.

And now I am going to have dinner! It's Verloren Maandag today and then it is always a tradition to eat Worstenbrood. That is something made of puff pastry and a Currywurst. Yam yam!

Let bygones be bygones

2009-01-11T19:06:00.003+01:00

I received this strange look today when someone asked me who Lolu was. I answered that she was my sister and they looked at me like I was some kind of fool. But she is! Don't be fooled by our skin colors! In our heart, we are sisters. She knows all my secrets and she is the first one I'll be running to when I have problems only girls would understand. I love my sweetie pie as much as I love candy. LOL!

Was browsing through my external hard drive, looking for this one document I needed to print when I bumped into this poem/song I wrote a long time ago. Lolu, I am sure you must know the one I'm talking about! It was the confessions of a vixen one. Remember when you joked that we should record it and let him listen to it? Ha! It's funny to read it now, almost 1 year later. We definitely shared some laughter because of it. No, I won't post it on here, as a matter of fact, I will delete it now. It is in the past and there are no feelings left. Let bygones be bygones.

I've been shopping with my mom yesterday. A whole day with my mom and I survived it! She bought me a jeans (dark washed blue with fairly slim legs) and a long blue Ralp Lauren sweater. She still promised me a new hand bad because the one I am using now has had its best time, but we lacked time yesterday. It was already 18.00 hours when we left Wellens. So maybe next weekend or Friday after my exam.

Sentenced to jail

2009-01-08T21:51:00.000+01:00

RFI - Thursday January 8th, 2009

I’m a child of the modern West. Some may even call me morally disturbed and my je m’en foutisme about the classic society standards can be found very shocking. But that is just who I am and for those who don’t like it, too bad…

Let me start the shocking entry by saying that homosexuality is absolutely no world shocking event. More so, I consider it just as normal as a straight relationship. I do not see why it would be rated less or have less chance to succeed. Some even claim that different sex relationships are the only ones that bring real happiness.

What are the reasons why some people act so homophobic? Well from my own experiences, there are a few obvious excuses.

The first I’ve heard was that it was gross. They find the idea of two men/women making love dirty and disturbing. But many men who say they would kill the gay guy if one ever seduces them, are often the same ones who drool over female on female action. Or the ones that say the ass is exit only are the ones to beg for some back door action. Let’s call the first argument hypocrisy.

Second one must be the society excuse. The society is made for a man and a woman to live together and not two men/women. Guess what, society is changing in every possible way and the change has been going on for many decades already. Back in the old times people married for the sake of property. Later they married for love and there were even interracial marriages. Society changes stop holding onto the past like it is holy.

Many countries have probated homosexuality by law. Too bad the human rights often stay just a piece of paper. Not only in the African continent or Islamic countries, but also in the self-proclaimed most powerful country in the world, the United States of America. Take the State California that voted in favor of proposition 8 that banned same sex weddings.

Another argument is that sex is for reproduction purposes only and that same sex couples will not be able have children in a natural way so it should not be allowed. So how about the women taking birth control?

The most convincing excuse so far is religion. Now this is the only thing all religions agree on: homosexuality is a threat. What I don’t get is this: religion is all about peace, happiness and caring about each other, or so I have been told since I am a non-believer. Then how can something that preaches about those things deny happiness to a category of human beings just because their love is not approved by a book? Yes, a book because that is still what the Bible or Quran is. It is a book of stories written by people for people.

So whatever your excuse may be, do not deny people their shot at love!

Veni, vidi, vici

2009-01-06T19:34:00.004+01:00

I will be regretting this tonight, but I could not master myself... Yes, I will regret it. Ha, now most of you all will have this strange and possibly even perverse thoughts about what I did wrong just a second ago! Well let me tell you, I made myself this baguette Martino. Imagine this fresh straight out the oven baguette with filet américain, gherkin, silver onions, pili-pili, Tabasco and mustard. I'm not really a meat eater, but I always enjoy putting my teeth in something like that! But since it was already 0:30 am, I will surely get stomach aches. Being home alone at night is dangerous for me because then there is no one to prevent me from opening the fridge.

Ever had this thing that no matter how hard you tried to stay awake, your eyes just get so heavy that the only thing you can do is give up and go to bed again? That is what I felt today. I couldn't keep my eyes open. It started yesterday night. At 2 am I was already fighting the closing eyes and I list that battle after some blinks. When I woke up, it was already 5 am. I switched off my laptop who was still playing music next to me on my large bed and went to sleep again. At 11.30 my mom started yelling at the door that it was brunch time. I got up and after 20 minutes I was back in bed. I tried to stay awake, focusing on my computer screen, but it didn't do any good. I barely woke up, only few times when I got thirsty. I know it is a bad habit to sleep with the laptop next to me!

I was looking to all this New Year's eve pictures from friends on Facebook and sometimes it makes me look like one hell of a boring person. Everyone was out partying and getting totally wasted while I was inside having a wonderfully tasty dinner with my parents, watching a move and studying a bit. Didn't even drink a single drop of alcohol because it was red wine and I only like white wine. But for real, am I boring because I don't like going to dancings or something? I really don't like it. Crowdy places where people step on each other's feet, way too loud music that almost causes permanent deafness and makes any normal conversation impossible, the smoking that makes my eyes red and teary and the drunk people who make a dumb ass fool out of themselves. I don't know, but somehow I prefer boring old me... Just my two cents.

I had my first exam yesterday. That guy kept on asking questions just so you would say two contradictorily things! Plus he started already one and a half hour too late. I hate it when they have the ego to point us that we should be on time but then he starts too late himself... It bugs me to the fullest. That is my European side. Time is money and 14h30 is 14h30 and not 16h00. Next one is Friday, as long as I don't break a leg with all this snow! It was -16,5°C (3,2 F) last night!

Sugar who?

2009-01-02T15:49:00.005+01:00

Christmas and New Year are finally over. Back to my quiet old life with normal food instead of those large meals with a lot of oils and sugars. My stomach isn't used to that any longer because I have this unhealthy habit of only eating once a day. So now I all of the sudden my stomach had to absorb it all... Believe me, I had moments I felt so nauseas and couldn't even smell food anymore without turning green!

Today I had to go to Antwerp town to wire some money through MoneyGram. I was already fearing this long like like the last time so I went early, otherwise the money might not arrive on time. Arriving there around 10.30 AM, I was shocked! The whole office was empty! Guess no one likes to wake up early... This doesn't mean that from now on I will wake up early though. I need my beauty sleep in the morning/forenoon. lol

Afterwards I hollered at this Nigerian guy who used to work for the Belgian internal affairs and often translates for them. He is also one of the influential men from the African community in both Antwerp and Brussels. I knew he could help me clarify many aspects about the real deal behind visa applications. So far I only heard few stories from a couple of friends (who successfully passed the procedure) and I wanted to hear the other side too. I must say it didn't disappoint me as much as I thought it would. He made it clear that it might be a hard fight, but most certainly not a lost fight.

He also introduced me to this guy who turns out the be the European Boxing Champion. Never heard of him and that worked on the laughter of many people because he is something like Antwerp's protégé. His name is Sugar Jackson (who calls his son Sugar???) and apart from the boxer's nose, he didn't even look like a boxer. I would imagine boxers being this tall and muscled guys like Muhammad Ali in his glory days, but nothing special about this guy... Wouldn't even look at him if he passed me on the street.

Talking about looking at guys on the street, I don't do that any longer! Before I knew Sheriff, friends and I were often rating the people (both male and female) that passed our path on the street, but since I'm with my hubby I'm always with my head somewhere up in the sky. So far the distraction has not yet caused accidents (like walking against a door) but I'm tempting the odds for over 5 months already so I have the feeling it might happen sooner or later. Well a huge bump on my forehead has its charms too, right?

I love going to university and all but once a year I can say it sucks. We have exams this January and you never guess when reduction month starts... Yes you guessed it correctly: January. So this means I can't go shopping and I need now clothes! I barely have clothes to pass the week. In total I have 3 hoodies and one sweater for the winter and that is it. So suppose we end up without electricity or no washing machine during the weekend, I will have to go to school in my bra the next week... And that is meant for Sheriff's eyes only!

I'm hungry so blog later!

2008 - 2009

2008-12-31T23:59:00.001+01:00

The last minutes of 2008 are ticking away. It has been a year with ups and downs, happiness and joy but also tears and pain. People close to me went to heaven, but also new friends that came into my life.

Let me take a moment to thank people that inspired me the past year:

Mom and dad for feeding me a year long, giving me a bed to sleep in, clothes to wear and books to study. Wouldn't want to trade the two of you for any other parents.

Dear Lolu, I have no idea what I would do without you. You always prevent me from flying too high, and when I do fly high, you put my two feet back on the ground. So thank you for your cruelness and support throughout these past few years. You are much more than a friend, you are like a sister to me. May all your wishes come true sweetie pie.

Chris, it has been a while since we last had a long conversation, but I haven't forgot the good old days we used to share. I'm sure that you will win that state championship next year, or what was the thing you lost in San Fransisco?

Laye, I only recently met you but you have brought me so much laughter with your dance class! From now on when I hear 7 Seconds by Youssou N'Dour and Neneh Cherry, I will be thinking about you.

Dieter for all the jokes we shared and for the times he succeeded to pull my legs. Whenever someone mentions New York, I will always think about your funny and funky dreads you work so well. Good luck with your last year Medical School, I know you have the brains to succeed!

Tinashe for being one of my eldest friends and never shouting at me, even though I may have had some annoying moments this past year.

Tim and Henry for keeping me company during those boring classes, I am sure the professors noticed us, whether that be in a positive or negative way. Dimitri for telling me the history of Royal Antwerp Football Club. Amilla for fulling my inbox with questions about class otherwise I wouldn't have opened a book during the year. Uduak for the beautiful blog entries you shared with us, ... And basically everyone who contributed a thing to my life.

10
******************
9
****************
8
**************
7
************
6
**********
5
********
4
******
3
****
2
**
1
*
Happy 2009 everyone

Whores, pimps, players and hustlers

2008-12-27T21:15:00.004+01:00

This is the last time I am going to the local supermarket on a Saturday morning. From now on I am going to the large megamarket in town. What happened? Well allow me to explain! I was doing the groceries shopping and I was in the fruit department when someone, who I believe was an Italian man or at least mastering the Italian language, came up to me and offered me 5.000 euro to sleep with him. If my hands weren't full with all sorts of vegetables, I would have bitch-slapped his face. I know I shouldn't be insulted by this lame event, but yet it is seriously bugging me. I feel insulted and degraded. If I had been wearing this high heels combined with a deep décolleté and short skirt, fine I might have understood, but I was wearing this old jeans with large sweater and didn't even took the time to brush my hair decently before leaving the house! From now on I rather wait in line to check out than going to a local store filled with grannies and Italian losers. Enough nabbing, forget about it.

Did anyone of you saw The Longest Yard? Do I laugh because it is actually a funny movie or because it is so horrible that it became miserably funny? I must confess, Cornell Haynes still got the body lol!

Xmas/NY survey

2008-12-26T13:59:00.003+01:00

I was reading this gossip magazine and found this questionnaire so I was thinking to myself “let my fill it in and post it on my blog”. So here I go:

Who is, to you, the most remarkable person of the year and why?

Barack Obama, no doubt about that. Instead of campaigning against the opponents, something McCain/Palin often did, he campaigned about his own strategies. He will not be able to fulfill all the promises he made because of the crisis and the political games, but he will surely bring much needed change.

What event, positive or negative, has touched you most in 2008?

Negative things are always very easy to find. Near and far but for once I will look at what goes wrong in my own country first. It is über-childish that politicians rather blame each other in time of economical crisis than to put aside all the beefs and work together to find a way out of this mess. Another negative event was Europe refusing to send troops to eastern Congo (because it doesn’t benefit them, just say it Sarkozy!).

What was the best book, best CD and best movie of 2008?

Book? What’s that? All jokes aside, I did not read a book this year, well besides the obligated school stuff. If you want to know what books you should read, or not read, ask my soon to be lawfully wedded husband. He is the bookworm.

Some months ago I posted a blog entry about the best CDs of this year and I haven’t changed my mind. Not a single album that kept me interested for more than 4 tracks except for Love Behind the Melody (Raheem Devaughn) and The Way I See It (Raphael Saadiq).

I’m probably the only creature on this planet that doesn’t say “Batman” was the best movie of 2008, but still I’m going to say it: I don’t like Batman! Don’t really have a favorite movie this year…

What do you wish for your fellow bloggers in 2009?

Love, peace and happiness. May all your wishes come true.

What do you wish for yourself in 2009?

He knows my wish...

Did you make any good intentions for the New Year?

Yes, not to get agitated by the train delays! And the normal stuff: study harder, complain less, drop some pounds, ...

Season's greetings

2008-12-24T10:48:00.002+01:00

Merry Christmas to everyone.
May this day bring you blessings.
May you be able to spend this with the people you love,
Because I know how hard it is,
Not being able to be close to the person you cherish most.

Christmas mood

2008-12-23T21:41:00.009+01:00

Imagine this dark grungy place in the open. Face to face with the opponent, your biggest enemy to defend your kingdom. You are standing there, breathing heavily underneath your iron armour. With a loud scream you start running, swaying the long and sharp sword you are torching. Chopping of the arms and legs of everyone who comes near you. Blood gushing everywhere…

Now does this sound like a sequel of Braveheart starring Mel Gibson? Change the armour into shopping bags, the grungy place into a shop and the kingdom to Christmas gift and you know how Christmas shopping looks like. The fun loving Christmas spirit everyone adores so much. I still don’t get the charm of it after all these years…

Monday I had to get to Antwerp town to get some stuff done and I spend more than 3 hours at the MoneyGram office. Seems like everyone wanted to send or receive money to/from relatives. It was bloody hot inside the tiny office that was way too crowded. I had some laughter though! First there was this too cute kid with curly hair that was constantly kicking the door, future topscorer to be no doubt about that. Then there was this guy who thought he was Snoop Doggy Dogg. For real, he was wearing this white fur jacket with a purple suit, crocodile leather shoes and his hair straightened. Ah I love this multicultural town!

Talking about being smart, I don’t understand these writers slash journalists slash professors. We need to read this article for our exam and it is 500 plus pages. Now see I don’t call this an article anymore. This is what I call a big fat m*th*rf*ck*ng book! 500 pages isn’t an article anymore man! Be reasonable.

Anyway, my chocolate pudding is waiting on me in the fridge.

Gnomes are among us

2008-12-21T21:40:00.005+01:00

I'm suffering from amnesia I think. I was 100% certain I had 200 euro left and today I have been looking everywhere and I only found 150 euro. I counted it 3 weeks ago before paying my laptop and I am certain it was 200 or even more. I'm starting to believe the gnome stories are real or that the gnome isn't as tiny as the story goes but is around 1m70 and has short spiky hair!

I always hated to be boring and the same as anyone else. A good prove of that is my dear beloved maccie! I customized every single icon and button on the damn thing! Blinged it up because the standard ones looked kind of ... bland. For example, this is how my documents icon looks like (see picture). Cute isn't it? I know it is absolutely girly and all but it's funny to turn something standard into something unique.

Going to bed now. Eyes are getting heavy. Nite nite.

Black pudding

2008-12-20T23:24:00.000+01:00

Just got in from the family reunion. Yes the reunion... I know I swore not to go but these were my moms exact words: "either you get your ass to the reunion or you can kiss your laptop and phone bye bye for the next one or two months". That always works on me because she knows my laptop is holy to me! My phone is could have, but my laptop? Hell no! Two months without hubby Sheriff and sweetie pie Lolu (or is it Tolu?) would be unbearable for me! The phone she could have though... I hope she would lay it beside her bed. I would secretly sneak our land line phone to my bedroom and call her all night long on a private number! Payback time!

The family seems to be growing every year. Some had given birth, other ones are pregnant... New girlfriends and fiancées, ... Next year it will be my time to introduce the newest member of the family. No need to have panic attacks just yet hubby... They may look scary but they are nice people once they ate their black pudding! Oh for those who wonder if my stomach survived the pudding, I only ate the warm cherries.

Sometimes you wonder why lawyers always strive to make their texts so non-understandable! When they can choose between two words that mean exactly the same, they choose the difficult one. It is such a torture when you want to read the text in a faster tempo because it results into you understanding nadda about what you just read. Just make the damn text easy to read, that would save me loads of time!

There was this sad Christmas movie on television last night. The tittle was This Christmas Shoes and it was about a boy wanting to buy shoes for his mother who was dying. The tittle song was sung by Newsong and was just as sad as the movie itself. Could not imagine how it must feel to loose your mother as a young child.

The year is almost over again so if any of you have best/worst questions, make sure you post them because it is list time!

Does every post need a tittle?

2008-12-19T18:19:00.007+01:00

First we needed more than 140 days to set up a federal government, now it already resigns after the Fortis - Paribas debacle. Yesterday and today, there was secret information leaked about the then upcoming report of Court of Cassation, our highest/supreme Belgian court. One of our ministers tried actively to influence the ruling so this is a serious violation of the separation of powers. So what will happen now? Of course the King has the right to refuse the resign but what is more important is that there will be measurements to overcome the economical recession. I wonder what the foreign press will write about is this time. Most foreign people who I talked to these last year thought there was a huge civil war between the Flanders and Wallonia because that is what the press insinuated. This while most of us, whether we are Dutch, French or German speaking, don't even think in terms of languages or sub-states.

14 years after the Rwandan Genocide, the assumed brain behind the Genocide former colonel Bagosora was sentenced to a life imprisonment by the Rwanda Tribunal, ITCR, in Arusha, Tanzania. It was remarkable that Bagosora was not held responsible for preparing the Genocide due to the lack of evidence. Together with Bagosora, two other former militarians (Ntabakuze and Nsengiyumva) have been sentenced to a lifelong imprisonment. General Kaniligi, who was held responsible for the ground operation, was found innocent. This was also remarkable and very negative because this trial was supposed to held the whole Rwandan army responsible for the slaughter that put an end to the life of more than one million Rwandan Tutsi and moderate Hutu, plus that the Genocide was well orchestrated.

Yesterday, Mark Felt died. Many of you may not know who he is, but he was Deep Throat (Watergate Scandals). It is before my time, but if I remember correctly, it leaded to Nixon resigning after the House of Representatives started the impeachment procedure. This was after key information about the speeches of Munskie were leaked which benefited both the much too radical McGovern and also unpopular president Nixon. Thanks to these leaks, McGovern got the Democrats nomination and Nixon got re-elected. Right? Correct me if I am wrong.

Enough news updates. Today I went to see soccer training with Dimitri. Lord knows what came in my mind, but he was able to convince me to go see this horrible sports! Now he is one of the very few none African people I talk to. Maybe because he clearly knows seducing me won't have any effect one me... Anyway, I had loads of fun! We cracked it up and laughed until our stomachs hurt! He was teasing me every time one of the African players jogged by, nudging me and asking whether I liked the view or not. He is so evil! I must say little Kenmogne looks better each year, but still I wasn't paying too much attention to him because Sheriff was lingering in my mind. It felt good to be outside, away from all the bad thoughts. This evening I felt a strong move in the right direction though. We shall overcome, no doubt about that.

Some pictures from the training

Emmanuel Kenmogne

Coulibaly, Gbarssin, Kenmogne and Van Trier

RAFC training

Bleeding love

2008-12-17T22:17:00.003+01:00

I know I have been away from the blogging action a while but I have my reasons. Some of you may know why, while others can't see through this happy faced facade. Because that what it is, a facade. To the outside world I pretend to be fine, but once I am alone, I can throw off the facade and let the tears roll over my eyes and release all the pain I have inside. I've always been a strong caracter, but this is really tearing me apart. I often feel guilty for letting my feelings flow like this, but I cannot help it because the feelings are too deep and strong.

I got my exam schedule last week Friday and this one is the best schedule ever. I hope to pass all my exams without a re-sit in September because that would suck very much so. Not that I am not used to it but for once it would be nice to pass them... Lifting up the moral that is.

Some days I was really into the whole Christmas thing but now it just makes me sick! I just hope these days will be over very soon. And about this Saturday, I am not attending the family reunion and I won't make up any excuse. I don't want to attend and they better live with it. Whether they like it or not!

For those who notice some slight agitation in my tone, yes you are correct. I'm a wounded animal who is hurt and scared. Plus it is the time of the month so better not work against me.

Public transport: $@%*^

2008-12-12T14:17:00.004+01:00

I got a new slogan for the Belgian Railways. It goes like this: "Belgian Railways - Always a great adventure and good for your physics, but not for your mood". Story goes like this, this morning I got to the station when the station speaker blasted that the train to Antwerp Central station had a 25 minute delay and that the passengers were advised to take the train to Brussels South and get off in Lier. So I was running from the front of the rails to the back, took the stairs and ran to rail 5. So far so good. Once we arrived in Lier, it became one big catastrophe. The station speakers told that the first departure to Antwerp would be at rail 1. So yet again I ran the lungs out my body. Stairs down, stairs up. 5 minutes later the speaker announced that this train would not arrive at rail 1 but at rail 3. So yet again, from the front all the way back to the stairs and up to rail 3. Finally the train arrived at rail 3. We all got in that train when the train conductor announced that this train would not leave the station because the change of guard was too late and that we had to leave the train. So now everyone got kind of mad. We all got off and heard the next train to Antwerp would be on rail 1 in 5 minutes. So we ran to rail 1 yet again and when the train arrived, we were denied access with the excuse that the train was already full. 10 minutes later, the train I normally take arrived. So basically I better waited in my home town instead of running around in Lier. At the end I arrived in Antwerp with a 45 minutes delay and missed the first 20 minutes of class.

Luckily there were no delays anymore on the way home. But I was still in a fairly bad mood and there was this one guy with his speakers on loud sitting next to me so I'm now having a terrible headache of the punk rock music he was blasting. Then there was sitting this old woman across me who was snoring like she was cutting the Amazon forest. It really got on my nerves. Last but not least was this one person who was farting like shit. It smelled disgusting! Damn you would almost start to believe it is Friday 13th instead of Friday 12th. Or is it Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives (Anything that can go wrong, will — at the worst possible moment)? At one moment in time, I even wanted to take the train or bus, whatever came first, back home. Luckily I didn't because class was extremely interesting.

We had this guest speaker, I believe he was from Serbia or at least from a former country of Yugoslavia. He worked for an United Nations related organization, or so I was told because I missed the introduction part and the person sitting next to me did not master English very well. Anyway, to cut a long story short, it was a great class and I had the best time ever listening to what he was telling. Afterwards there was a discussion were he defended his presentation. I kind of envied that guy for having this great profession. I would love to work for the UN too, or work for a NGO doing UN related work. It must be the best job ever!

Terroristic threat

2008-12-11T18:28:00.002+01:00

I'm not this type of girl that is worrying for her safety all the time. Last year there have been three bomb threats in Antwerp Central station alone and I never feared it, but today I got kind of worried though. There have been 14 people arrested who are suspected of having links with the terror group al Qaeda. Oh and the good part is that these arrests are the result of last year Christmas! Let's see, that is almost one year ago and now there are caught... Finally! There were clear signs that they would do a suicide attack one of the next days. I'm feeling so releaved that our own police needs 1 year to eliminate a possible terroristic threat. Such a safe feeling. Sigh...

Ever realized how easy it is to spread a rumor and make everyone believe it? Some year spread the gossip that we would not get our exam schedule before Dec. 20th and all of the sudden many students ran to the secretary to file protest. Turns out this was one misunderstanding caused by a I-heard-it-from-this-guy-who-heard-it-from-that-guy-who-heard-it from-that-guy... You know how it goes, a story that gets to live its own life but that is mostly not accurate.

You may not believe it, but I am blogging live from the bathroom. No I am not in bath and I still have all my clothes on, but this is the only room where we have a large heatening element The ones in the living room or kitchen are only small ones that are not enough to warm up your back, but the one from the bathroom is. The warmth on my back feels lovely and relaxing.

It is so obvious that Christmas is nearing because you cannot switch on the television without seeing this advertise for woman's perfume. No wonder most men always give these classic gifts because they are almost slapping your head with it!

Jingle Be-e-e-e-e-lls

2008-12-10T22:18:00.005+01:00

I think for the first time in my 3 year university career, I did not mind I missed my first train home after class because I had the best time ever. I was laughing, joking and having fun with some people I know from class. Well actually it started during class. No one was really paying attention, so we started chit chatting very softly so we would not bug anyone. Damn we talked about some very random stuff but yet it was funny as hell. Some subjects that passed the revue were Christmas trees, vacation plans, exams and loads of other things. I'm sure you may wonder how those subjects can possibly be funny, but believe me, we cracked it up. Then it hit me though. This little feeling coming from deep down inside that makes my mind travel through time and space to a place far away. Not really a place, but a person. I closed down a bit and sunk away in deep thoughts. Don't get me wrong, I like the direction my life is heading to. I got a great education and most of all, I have this wonderful person supporting, respecting and loving me to death. It feels so great to love someone who feels the same way for you as you feel for him. I found this song that matches my feelings right now. Does anyone know of you know the movie An Officer and A Gentleman? There is this song sung by Joe Cocker and I believe Jeniffer Warnes that is called Up Where We Belong. There has been a remake of this song by BeBe and CeCe Winans and I adore it. It goes like this:

Who knows what tomorrow brings
In a world, few hearts survive
All I know, is the way I feel
When it's real, I keep my pray alive
The road is long
There are mountains in our way
But we climb steps every day
Love lift us up where we belong
Where the eagles cry, on a mountain high
Love lift us up where we belong
Far from the world we know
Up where the clear winds blow

Sounds beautiful right? I have another one. Lean on Me, originally from Bill Withers I believe, or was it Al Green? Doesn't matter because the lyrics are great.

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me

When I was on the train home, I was staring outside and, because it was already dark, most people had lighted their Christmas decoration. Can't help it but when my car got stuck in traffic, I put on the good old "Jingle bells" song. Christmas is in the air and I adore it. When I got home, I took a quick shower and afterwards I jumped into the sofa with a cup of hot chocolate and my lappie, overlooking our mighty decorated tree with the hundreds of twinkling lights. I confess, it is a fake tree but you don't notice it that much because it is fully loaded. Only it smells like plastic instead of nature. On the other hand, it doesn't drop its needles so that means less cleaning! So looking at the pro and contra indications, plastic is perfectly fine!

I still have one week left to fake this mysterious illness so I can skip Christmas at my grandma. Black pudding ewwww! Flu would be too obvious and would also mean I can't eat muffins for some days otherwise they will notice I faked. Migraine ain't possible neither because I barely have head aches unless I have not slept for days. What else can I fake? I so need to find something otherwise the delicious, cough, black pudding will put an end to my young life before it even started! Whoever invented that food, if it can be categorized as food, must have had the most horrible taste ever. No disrespect to anyone who likes black pudding, but it tastes really pukey (invented a new word just now).

Should be going to bed soon because again, our professor has a meeting at 11h and he is going to start earlier tomorrow. It is really unfair! HE has a meeting during his college hours and WE have to get our asses up earlier. Un-un-unfair!

Nite nite Lolu, you know you are my gurl! Nite nite all my other readers, you guys are great. Happy 60th anniversary UN Declaration of Human Rights! May your next anniversary bring improvement so your words won't only remain words but also hard actions to fight injustice.

iBiatch

2008-12-09T17:11:00.006+01:00

A long mouth stretched wide open yawn followed by nudge to keep myself awake. It's winter again and my body is struggling to recharge its batteries. In summer I only need a 5-6 hours sleep a night because the sun keeps my energy level high enough, but during winter, I'm almost sleeping all the time. Struggling to keep yourself warm takes up a lot of energy y'all! But back to yesterday evening. Everyone who knows me knows I am a night owl who hates going to bed early. Well yesterday I went to bed at 9h15! So I slept almost 11 hours last night and still I had to drag myself out of bed this morning. When I got back home, I even postponed decorating the Christmas tree, my favorite part of the whole holidays, just to catch some extra sleep. Stupid cold, stupid lack of sun, stupid snow,... Climate change, right???

So today I bumped into an old classmate from back in high school. Great to see she is still this small minded trashy whore she always used to be. Yeah I never been really best buddies with her and other classmates for various reasons. Reason one was because she was this crazy Hitler fan. Can you imagine those people still exist? Sigh! Reason two goes way back until the 5th grade, one year before graduating... This was my first year at that school because I studied in another school the past 4 years. I don't know why, but from day one they have been hating on me for standing up for a black girl, who barely spoke one word of Dutch, when she being threatened my her gang of racists. So this was the start of the whole beef. It got even worse. I'm this type of student who does what she is supposed to do, nothing more, nothing less. So this means that when we have to write a paper, will hand it in on time. But it seems that there was some secret ode among the other students not to obey the deadline. It seemed to be an obligation to hand in the paper one week later than you were supposed to hand it in. I broke this ode and always handed it in on time, while they refused to do so. Every time, they got a zero and who was to blame? Right, I was. It was all my fault that they had a zero. If I did not hand in my paper on time, they would never received that zero. I never payed much attention to what they said until one day I ended up having chewing gum in my hair. Now this was the turning point. I was so angry that I just told them, straight in the face, that if they wanted to act like a "grown up" (read: rebellious teenager) and disobey the deadline on the paper, they should just go ahead but they had to face the consequences like a grown up and not blame someone else. It probably not may be a surprise, but I was also blamed for the fact that more than the class failed that year and that I graduated first of the whole school that next year. But heck now it's my fault that students who lived weekend to weekend failed their exams. You would be surprised how many of them had to skip Monday classes because they still had a hangover from Saturdays.

Tomorrow it's the 60th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. 60 years have passed, many good things have happened since, but yet there is still a very long way to go.

Everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status. Furthermore, no distinction shall be made on the basis of the political, jurisdictional or international status of the country or territory to which a person belongs, whether it be independent, trust, non-self-governing or under any other limitation of sovereignty.

It sounds so nice when you read it. One peaceful world were everyone can live life to the fullest. But words are only words. Examples of violations are very easy to find, even over here in Belgium.

I'm in a fairly bad mood right now. Today I had this discussion with a guy I know superficially and he was like "women need to know there place in society". Now this pisses me off! Women work hard to earn there place in society and men like that tell us that our place is at the bottom? Cleaning and cooking, nursing the kids and being uneducated? To hell with that. Women are equal to men and damn miss judge is present!

The holy day

2008-12-06T21:29:00.004+01:00

December 6th, the magical day. At least magical if you are this little kid, anxiously waiting for the sun to arise so you could run to the living room and play with all the toys Saint Nicholas left you the past night. For those who are now frowning the eyebrows, Saint Nicholas is the European variant of Santa Claus. He comes every year on December 6th and brings gifts to the children who have been good the past year. And for those who have not been so good, there is always Black Pete and his huge bag... Damn it is such a bad story once you are all grown up, but as a kid we all believed in it. I remember I was even mad at my mom when I found out it was just a tale because she has been lying all these years, saying Saint Nicholas did exist. Thinking back about this, I should have known though! One example: it is common to leave a carrot at the chimney for the horse of Saint Nicholas, but every year on December 7th, we ate carrot mixed with mushed potatoes! Guess I now know who the horse was... Hehe! Luckily it was not a tradition to leave grass or straw because that wouldn't have tasted as good as carrots.

The tale of Saint Nicholas is already old and goes around for generations already, but yet it is very stereotypic and maybe even somewhat discriminating. Let me explain myself better. The story is about this old man that is surrounded by helpers, Black Pete's. This is already one of the stereotypes. The white man is the good old man while the black person is the helper. The higher rank becomes even more clear when Black Pete has to help Saint Nicholas on his horse. Sitting on a horse means you have a higher rank, just compare it with the Middle Ages when the officers and lords were sitting on their horses and the normal people had to fight by foot. Another example is that the white man gives the toys, while the black man carries the bag to put in the bad children. It's probably not meant this way, but the story needs a serious upgrade!

Am I a chatterbox who can't keep her mouth shut? I know I can talk quite much from time to time, but can I really chit chat so much that I can make someone fall asleep?

Do you remember when I told you some weeks ago about the blister I had from my new Guess shoes? It is still not healed and from time to time the wound even starts bleeding or loosing fluids. So whenever I wear shoes, I put on a bandage. Some days ago I started to show allergic reactions from those bandages. My skin was all swollen and itchy underneath the area where the sticky glue is. Now I'm really screwed. Either I have to wear a bandage and protect the wound, but then the reaction will even gets worse, or I will have to remove the bandage so the allergy can heal, but then the wound wont heal... It ain't fun to suffer for looking banging. Heck sneakers can look cute too and if there is someone who doesn't agree, I invite that person to try my blister and swollen/itchy skin!

Oh I went shopping today with my cousin. Mom ordered to find me some shoes for inside the house. You know, some slippers made of soft tissue. Not that I will often wear them because we have underfloor heating, so the floors are always warm and that means there is no need to wear the slippers. But I always listen to mommie so I bought these funny, yet soft slippers looking like bears. Dad seemed to find them kind of amusing because he tried them on himself. Some funny anecdote, does anyone have an idea of how old the underfloor heating is? No? Well they already had in the Roman Empire when slaves had to throw coal in large ovens under the house to keep the floor warm.

It's only 22h18 but yet I am already exhausted. I really need to catch some lost sleep because if I am completely honest, I have barely slept the last few days. All I could do was cry and stare in front of me. Even speaking was very hard. I was really in some kind of shock. My body was uncontrollably shaking, I could barely keep fluids inside and food made me run to the bathroom. I was really making myself ill with all the worrying and miserable feelings I had. But I am fine now. I'm still not fully done worrying, but I know that everything will get better soon. We will overcome.

I don't know how I got to think about this, but I just remember something one of our professors told us last year. He once was joking about what he does in his free time. It went like this: "What do you think us professors do after our working hours? Study and read publications? Not really... Some days ago I was on YouTube searching if I could find something about our University of Antwerp and guess what I found! One of my colleagues. Now I won't tell who it was so you will have to look for yourself." That is really tempting someone. I had my notebook with me so of course I logged on to YouTube to see who it was! This are the answers: prof. Velaers and prof. Vansweevelt. Ah good old cellphones with camera! Not even professors are safe in their own classrooms. Let them be warned when they try to fail us during oral exams!

There is a solution to any problem

2008-12-02T15:15:00.005+01:00

Maccie - External Hard Drive: 1-1! I don't know who said it, but it seems to be true that there is a solution to any problem. Yesterday I wanted to back-up my notes from class and I had this not so pleasant experience. I could only read the drive but not write to it. After some googling, I came to understand that this was due to the fact that my External Hard Drive was coded NTFS. But as I pointed, there is a solution to almost any problem. There is this program called Paragon NTFS for Mac OS X that allows you to both read from and write to a disk without having to reformat it to FAT32 (which has a 4GB copy limit). So now I am able to tranfer files from Maccie to the HD, be it with a slow speed. That is least of my worries though. So are there any other problems that I need to be aware of?

I'm in a not so good mood right now. When I and a classmate left university around 12h45 were on our way to respectively the station and the bus stop, we were held by two older women, preaching us that we needed to be in class instead of skipping it. Saying we are wasting our future and that we will end up in jail or being junkies. We were both astonished that someone we don't know dares to say something like that. After her preaching, I served her this answer: "First, we are already 20 so don't treat us like children. Second, we are already in university so no one could care less if we attend class or not. Last but not least, class is already done for today and even if we had class later during the day, it wouldn't be before 14h00 so this means we would be enjoying our break and not skipping class". At that point we both turned our backs to the two noisy women, who obviously don't have anything better to do, and continued our voyage. I know I should just have nodded to their allegations and continued to the train station, but I felt completely insulted! Sometimes you wonder why people can't mind their own business...

So while I was having this problem with the HD, I started browsing through it and bumped on this documentary I thought I had lost years ago. But it wasn't lost, it was just greatly hidden in one of my 100 "new folders". I should really spend some time arranging and renaming the folders. Back to the documentary... The tittle of this documentary was Ghosts of Rwanda. It is about the 1994 Rwandan Genocide and the actions, or rather the lack of actions from the international community. It is really heartbreaking to see people testify and see the pain in their eyes. And then the lame excuses from the international community. The worst thing is that this is now going on in Congo. Deny it as much as you want, but the same thing is happening there. People are being slaughtered while the international community "negotiates". The word alone is giving me the creeps. It is strange that wars in Europe are always considered "great" wars or even "world" wars, while huge wars in Africa are "just" wars. I do recognize the differences between the Rwanda and Congo situations. While Rwanda 1994 was more a ideological war, this is all about the money. Is there anyone who still believes this is about ideals? Well it is not! It is all about the wealthy soil. Money. That is what this is about. The soil was also the reason why Belgium wanted to keep, I believe, the Katanga region. Soil was also the only reason why China was investing in Eastern Congo. It ain't about ideals, it is about profit. Last Saturday I found this interview with Nkunda in the newspaper. The tittle was something like "I am general De Gaulle of Congo". I have not yet read the whole article, but the tittle alone makes me feel nauseas. It is truly unbelievable what is happening over there and Belgium is prepared to send some military convoys to the region to do... humanitarian work! Can you f*cking believe that? The MONUC can't even handle the situation and we are only prepared the do some nursing and feeding because "we are suitable for it". Let's just forget the past, the slavery and the robbing we once did over there and go to bed with a reassured conscience because we are doing humanitarian work (mind the sarcasm).

Some posts ago I talked about the new exam schedule system they wanted to try out. Seems like I was not the only one who had some thoughts and remarks on it because we were asked to sign a petition and now we received the announcement that the try-out will be postponed and the old method will be used. Hopefully I have a good one this year and not a crappy one like the last 2 years.

My back hurts and I don't know how that could happen. It's right on spine, somewhere in the middle under my shoulder blades. Probably a wrong way of sleeping, walking or air conditioning. Or a combination of all the above. Mom advised me to use this Chinese Tiger Balsam she has for sore muscles. I used it once when I twisted my ankle and it makes your skin burn. That's how warm it gets. Plus it has this really heavy and intriguing smell you can't get rid off... What could help is a warm bubble bath followed by a long massage. S, would you like to volunteer?

There is this one girl from class that is really bugging me. She thinks she knows everything and only her way is the correct way. When I was discussing something with a girl we both know, I think it was about French constitutional law, she made this really stupid remark that showed how stupid she was, but at the same time she was offending me in public. This one girl asked if I noticed that the prof skipped a part in the time line. I responded that I did not yet study the subject so I had to check my notes first to give an accurate answer to her question. All of the sudden this other girl was like "Oh but you always claim to have this great notes so even if he didn't see it this year, you could always pass the notes from last year". I tried to explain her that last year, we had a different professor for that subject and that he had a different angle on the constitution. You know what her answer was? "Oh so now you are claiming that the history has changed?" in a loud voice so half the town could hear it. How ignorant can you be? I mean the history remains the same, but two people can give a totally different angle on the same event. It's not a French example but lets go back to Congo during the colonization. What did they teach is back in school: Belgium was this messiahs who brought civilization into the country. This is one point of view and the second one can be considered the total opposite: slavery, torture, ... But now back to the French constitution, as politician and lawyer you know you can read the same text in many different ways according to the time, event or the most favorable reading. This professor has a different point of view than the one from last year and if that is so hard to understand, maybe there is something wrong with her and not with me?

Going to install this AirPort update and afterwards having dinner. Tagliatelle with mushrooms and a soft creamy sauce. Peace.

First day of the last month of 2008

2008-12-01T16:03:00.003+01:00

I love Maccie! Today I got PhotoShop, Illustrator and InDesign up and running! I'm now doing this little Indian type of dance around the table. Ha! Charlotte - Maccie: 1-0! Bite that bitches! Only still a bit annoyed about Windows Live Messenger for Mac, who refuses to broadcast webcam nor does it send nudges. Luckily Skype still works!

Update: Maccie - External Hard Disk 1-0

Another day full of riots in Jos, Nigeria. For some days now, Christians and Muslims are fighting each other. I'm not religious at all so correct me if I am wrong, but isn't religion ment to be peaceful? Respecting people, no matter what believe they have? Treating him just as you want to be treated? Forgive my ignorence if I just insulted someone! If it may be a comfort to you, I will probably end up in hell anyway...

From I Refuse to be Conventional

Today marks another milestone in the search for a cure against HIV/AIDS. It's the world Aids Day. We cannot pray enough or cry enough. Tears can no longer wash away the anguish we face from this disease. In the name of God; In the name of all that's good and just;

PLEASE FIND THE CURE!

Rêver

2008-11-30T16:05:00.005+01:00

« Une enfant aime rêver, une adolescente rêve d'aimer. » C'est vrai non? Comme enfant on vit dans un monde imaginaire, mais quand on grandisse, on réalise que ce monde est irréel et on a besoin d’une autre personne pour aimer, pour supporter.

Looking at the images of the Mumbay attacks, I get this unaccustomed feeling. How can someone have this little, or better, no respect at all for human life? They attacked two luxurious hotels, an hospital, train station and police station. At this moment there have already lost 174 people their life in this tragedy.

May I proudly introduce to you: Maccie!

Height: 0.95 inch (2.41 cm)
Width: 12.78 inches (32.5 cm)
Depth: 8.94 inches (22.7 cm)
Weight: 4.5 pounds (2.04 kg)

Now Maccie and I are somewhat cool, except on the MSN and PhotoShop issue. As you all know, or may not know, I adore PhotoShop. The thing is that Maccie refuses to run the key patch, so in other words, it refuses to generate the codes I need to register my copy of PhotoShop. So this means a beef between me and my 'boy'. So far Maccie is winning and I do not like it at all! Maybe it is not a bad thing though, exams are coming so this way I can't get distracted.

Talking about exams, the university wanted to start a new exam system. They wanted us to register our own exams through Blackboard. This is a new way that they have never tried before so they wanted to use us just like they use mises in a laboratory. Peep peep! But this ain't really the time to start experimenting! It is commonly known that Blackboard cannot handle the huge amount of logins (we all noticed that when we wanted to check our exam results the past years) at the same time. And that is what you will have to do: login at the same time (at 12 when the lists are released and open for registration), because if you wait any longer, the best spots are taken! First come, first serve: my ass! If you are unlucky, you can have 6 exams in one week because all the other spots were already taken. You can use this kind of system when registering for practicums, because it is not that big of a deal if you need to be in class at moment a or moment b, but now we are talking about exams. Heck we should go on a strike!

Tomorrow, it is already December. The year is almost over again but yet it feels like January 1st, 2008 was only yesterday! Lots of things happened the past year: some good ones, some bad ones. In general is a pretty good year. I met new people who I came to cherish and love, I saw the true face of people who I thought were my friends and I finished my academic year successfully. I came to realize that things are not always what they seem to be, but when you are 100% sure that what you have is right, you have to hold on to him and never let him go. Don't take him for granted and be prepared to work on it. And prepared I am!

You are the first, the last, my everything

2008-11-29T03:17:00.004+01:00

Been listening to Barry White all evening/night long. Hot tub, candle lights and soulful music; all boxes checked. My loved one; not checked yet, but December is close! Back to Mr. White. He has such a deep and strong voice that gives a completely different dimension to his songs. None of them would be so heart catching and breathe taking if they were sung by another artist who doesn't have such a powerful voice like Mr. White. "You are the first, the last, my everything".

Yesterday, I switched on the alarm on my phone and went to bed. I didn't notice that the battery was almost low so when I woke up this morning, the phone was off and I was already one hour too late! I succeeded to take a shower, brush my teeth and get dressed in less than 10 minutes. How I managed? No idea to be honest. I missed the train I normally take, but I managed to catch the later train and still arrive at university before the prof started his lecture. It required a lot of running and some luck with traffic lights though. I'm still not happy with the fact that no one cared to wake me up, even though they knew I always get up at 7 am on a Friday.

So I and my now 'boy', Maccie as I am calling him, are cool now. He earned his marks when he saved me today in class. Normally I always sit at the back so I can use my charger and the net power, because Winnie's battery (the old 'boy') only lasts for two hours. But since I was one of the last people entering the classroom today, the backseats with power supply were already taken. This meant I had to sit in the front, so I was worried I had to take notes by hand the last hour when the battery was low. But none of that! I still had 1 and a half hour battery supply left after the 3 hours lecture was over. It would have been a torture to take notes with pen and paper! It would be like this: I can note down the first part of the sentence, but somewhere halfway, I will get lost, and start a new line otherwise I would miss the next sentence. That is how slow I write.

Oh boy, it is already 4 am but I don't want to go to bed yet.

2008-11-26T21:55:00.003+01:00

I should be going to bed but I don't feel like sleeping yet. Normally I have class from 9h30 until 12h30, but because he has a meeting tomorrow he decided to start teaching from 8h30! Boohoo, this means I have to wake up at 6 am. Well I could be complaining now, but in the end, the university days are the best days of a person's life! A normal job is more exhausting and demanding than the life of a student. I really admire those people that work from 9 to 5 (often even longer) and afterwards need to do the household! As for me, I have 3 or 4 hours of courses a day so I can easily do many things afterwards and still have a lovely evening.

I'm playing with my Macbook. Yes we made it up again! lol. It's so funny: when someone puts the light on my screen gets bright, when the room gets dark, my screen gets softer. Plus my webcam and mic work pretty fine, only not on Windows Live Messenger. Office for Mac works très bien and no problems opening my Windows typed Word files. Have not yet tried visa versa, but I don't expect too many issues.

And now I am going to take a shower and go to bed!

It's just those snowy days

2008-11-24T23:00:00.004+01:00

As you would read in my previous post, it snowed a lot last weekend. This morning, the snow was still there and it was extremely slippery! In the 3 years I have my drivers license, I've never driven through the snow so I was very nervous and even scared. Just to make me feel better, mom drove with me to the station and dad followed me with his car. Arrived at the station, dad picked up mom, put her off as home and continued to his work. All this because I was too scared to drive through the snow! Parents ain't that bad after all... More so, they are actually quite great!

I was looking for this new versions of Adobe PhotoShop and Illustrator to install on my MacBook when I bumped into the Adobe Masters Collection. Want to know the price? First make sure you are sitting stable on your seat or guaranteed you will fall off! US$2,499! Boo! I will just install my old PhotoShop through Windows once I got this Boot Camp to work!

This evening our Flemish TV stations received a DVD with a terroristic threat for Belgium saying we will suffer for sending F-16s to Afghanistan. Though there is a serious doubt whether the threat is real or not. There is no resemblance between the song heard on the DVD and the subtitles portrayed under the video. Plus the subtitles were written in excellent Dutch.

Going to bed now. Eyes are getting heavy. See you in my dreams hubby!

First snow

2008-11-22T15:26:00.004+01:00

I'm sitting on my bed end, warm woolen sweater over my pajamas, fleece plaid wrapped around me, staring outside with those big eyes and thinking "heck no, snow". Yes that is right, it snowed last night. It's November and it snowed. I do not like snow at all! It's freezing cold, white and dangerous.

Snowed railway station at 7 am Monday morning

Bleh I was so hoping we would not have a family reunion this Christmas because we already had one last summer, but grandma insists in doing one. As food she chooses black pudding. I'm going to fake an illness that day because if I don't fake it, I will get sick from the food. Black pudding is so ewww!

Luckily we are going to have our own party on December, 24th! Veggies and fondue! There is no way I will look watch my diet that day! Heck no! I'll eat as much as my stomach allows me to eat because this is the only day a year I can eat it! I'm already drooling lol. Unfortunately there will be one family member missing, but he will be joining us next year.

I found this cute ass dress from House of Déreon. I so need to go to the US after my exams, even if it was only for one weekend! It would look great on a straight legged jeans and my blue Guess shoes who gave my those huge open wounds (which are still not recovered by the way). I'm prepared to suffer a little bit to look stunning, but this wound is way over the top. Someone, I don't remember who, made a stupid joke saying it was perfect cause it has the same shape as the African continent. He/she is right, it does look like Africa but it was still a lame thing to say cause it really hurts whenever I have to walk!

Yadi yadi yadi!

2008-11-21T18:12:00.003+01:00

Putain de merde. Sorry for the cursing but it is absolutely not funny. I got my new MacBook at home, yes finally. So I was installing this Windows Live Messenger for Mac and I came to the conclusion that my MacBook webcam and mic are not supported through this program. So conclusion, I have a MacBook with integrated webcam but I can't do anything with it! Boo! But to every problem there is a solution! Solution one, I keep using my old laptop (something I am doing now) until it gives its spirit for once and for all. Solution two, from now on I will have to use Skype and pray it supports it. Possibility three, I use Boot Camp, install Windows and use my old messenger, praying it is supported through that system. Whatever option I choose, it sucks!!!

TGIF (Thank God it's Friday!) because I am tired. It's the weather though. I went to bed earlier than I normally do, but it is the lack of sun that messes up my energy level. Tomorrow I could slap my own head. When I closed the door and went outside, my scarf almost flew away and I was like "nice weather" on a sarcastic tone. My dad replied with "too windy". Can I be even more sarcastic than this?

Wednesday!

2008-11-19T12:52:00.002+01:00

Dilemma! Should I buy the Macbook with the small 160GB HD or should I go for the large 250GB? It's just that I want to use Booth Camp and install Windows XP too in case I ever get a program that only works on Windows. But I'm kind of scared that the 160 will be too small for both OS and all my files (got over 60GB of music, I confess, I haven't listened to half of it and probably never will...). But if I buy the Macbook with the larger memory, I can better buy the MacBook Pro which has a bigger screen. Horrible right? Too much choice! Normally I'm pretty good at making choices because I am determined and know what I want. But not this time. I saw this nice protection cover... Delivery time: 3-4 months! How long does it take to make a cover? Do they need to breed the sheep and shave it before they can fabricate cotton or something?

Today I was at the parking lot next to the station and I was waiting inside my car cause I arrived too early. I confess, my music was on a somewhat high volume but everyone was looking at me like I was deaf or something. There was this rastafari guy and he was laughing really hard when he walked by! What's so wrong with P-Square blasting through my speakers? I dey wonder! Anyway, sun was shining so I didn't bother too much. It's always good to see some sun in this cold and wet time of the year. But oh boy I was mad today! Normally I could sleep till 8 a.m. because I only had classes from 10h30 until 12h30 and 14h00 until 16h00, but the government decided different! At 7 a.m. I heard this noise outside and when I looked downstairs, I saw some government employers cutting off trees, just like they did yesterday afternoon. I got up, all grumpy because I was looking forward to catch up some sleep. Booo!

Gotta bounce to class now but I'll be back lata.

Just another manic Monday

2008-11-17T21:07:00.003+01:00

Fuck fuck fuck! My feet are killing me. Got 8 cm big open wounds on my heels from those new Guess shoes I wore today. Forgot a band aid at home so I had to use my (proper) handkerchief to stop the bleeding. Never knew the station was this far from my university. And mom was laughing with me. Remind my again why I love my good 6 years old silver Bikkembergs sneakers! I could wear those with no socks and still run the marathon without any blisters. My poor feet! I'll have to stay home tomorrow because I really can't walk on them. Taking advantage of the situation now. Probably even a bit of drama and exaggeration... lol

Today a lot of commotion in class. Some students left the room earlier because they needed to catch their bus. I do that too from time to time, but this professor didn't seem to like it. He started yelling at them "Pigs, really bad-mannered pigs. How do you dare to leave?! Get your ass out and don't dare to come back. If I see you in my class again, you will be expelled!". The girl next to me was laughing "now those students made a fool of themselves", but to me it was more like the professor made a fool of himself. You don't just start yelling at people, especially not when you are in his position. I could imagine it is not funny when people are living, but they were really quiet so his reaction was out of proportion.

It's so cold at the moment. You should see me right now. I'm wearing this woolen sweater which is two sizes too big, but very warm and cosy. Plus I got this 100% real feather blanket plus 2 fleece plaids wrapped around me. The best (read: worst) part is that it isn't even freezing outside. Maybe I should take a hibernation, just like bears do! But there are some things I like about winter though! For starters, the Christmas tree! I'm not religious or anything, but I adore watching the lights in the tree and their reflection on the balls in the tree. I can stare at them for hours, plus the tree smells so good. I also love the songs they play on the radio! And the Coca Cola add on television. Jingle bells, Jingle bells, jingle all the way. O what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh. Haha! Too early I know but the weather allows me to get in the Christmas mood.

Now my laptop is really defying me! The connectors between the screen and the rest of the stuff is completely burnt-out and often the screen goes blank or it shows white horizontal lines. I just hopes it keeps it up until December when I get my brand new MacBook as a Christmas gift to myself. Well not really to myself. I'm going to use the money I get from grandmother and grandfather, mom and dad and some other people and complete it with some I have left until I saved the full amount needed. Don't call me spoiled! I'm a student! We can't take notes with pen and paper, now can we?

When dreams go bad

2008-11-16T13:28:00.005+01:00

Miss You by Aaliyah is blasting through the speakers of my laptop. I'm trying to get rid of this scary and strange feeling I'm feeling right now. It all started yesterday evening after Sheriff left to bed. I was still devastated about the conversation we had and I couldn't sleep. Around 3 am I finally stumbled asleep. Soon the nightmare started. I saw myself sitting at my desk, books all over the table. I saw my phone rang and I picked up. I heard my babies voice but it was different than the other times. I could hear the tears through his voice. When he said goodbye, it wasn't just a goodbye. It was like he was saying goodbye forever. I felt this cold feeling going through my body. When I called his phone some time later to check on him, one of his friends picked up. I could hear something was wrong. He told me Sheriff was in the hospital. The doctors said he took an overdose, accidentally, of sleeping pills and was now sleeping forever. At this moment I woke up, tears rolling down and I was bathing in sweat. I logged on to see if I could find him online. Up till now I am still trying to get rid of these feelings I'm having. I know it is just a dream, but it felt so real. I think periods and painkillers got a bad influence on my unconsciousness... Luckily it is all just one bad dream and soon I'll have him in my arms till death do us part.

Quote of the day
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
Martin Luther King, Jr

A toast on love

2008-11-16T00:12:00.005+01:00

Saturday night and I am studying. Or at least an attempt to study. Struggling to keep myself focused and the only thing that keeps me awake are the heavy old school hip hop beats blasting through the speakers of my laptop. All of the sudden I hear my phone going off. Wondering who is calling me at this hour of the day (or should I say night). When I finally found my phone under all the heavy books and bed sheets, I saw a picture of Sheriff on my screen. I was all smiles! This is the second day in a row that he surprised me with a phone call. Yesterday I was kind of dizzy cause I was already in a deep sleep and today I was groggy from the studying and pain medication. My apologies!

Car is fixed, finally. I haven't seen the result yet because my parents picked it up from the garage. The police still hasn't found the truck driver. I wonder if they even started the search... Most likely not! So we put on a paper asking eye witnesses to report to the police. Eye witnesses. Yeah right, welcome to the 21st century! "Oh look that truck crashes three cars. I'll just look the other way and act like I haven't seen anything because the car ain't mines anyway". That is how people are nowadays. If you put a € 1.000 reward, then you might be lucky someone remembers maybe the color of the truck or the firm logo...

Did you know that it has been more than 2 months since I last made something in PhotoShop? It is open, but I don't seem to have inspiration. I'm staring at the screen, pushing some buttons and draw some lines but that's it. I lost my "touch" and I want it back!

Oh geeh the sad songs are showing up again! Against All Odds (by Montell Jordan), End of the Road (by Boyz II Men), Endless Love (by Lionel Richie), Back to Black (by Amy Winehouse), Like You'll Never See Me Again (by Alicia Keys).

Cookies for the DRC

2008-11-14T19:29:00.007+01:00

1 ton cookies have arrived in East Congo. This after the debacle of last week when they've sent... soap! Hygiene is important for sure, but we are talking about refugee camps with no water supply. People have to use rain water to bathe. From non official sources I heard that Angola has landed in Congo. If this is true, then it could get really nasty. Angola has a real strong army and if they indeed arrived, the intention is to get rid of Nkunda for once and for all. About Nkunda, I saw an interview of him and damn he fancied himself being Livingstone! He was sitting there surrounded by bodyguards and all. They got a name for this kind of behavior: megalomania, better known as delusions of grandeur!

Remember I had this bad dream about a train crash some days ago? Well today I turned on the radio on my way to the station and I heard that two trains ran into each other at the cross section. That's a bit different from my dream, but a collusion is a collusion! I can look into the future! Maybe I should use that gift to win the € 15.000.000 with the lottery! Haha! Would be super duper though! First I would buy myself a loft in downtown Antwerp, donate a large part to charity and help succeeding some dreams of family and friends. I would make sure mom and dad could retire earlier, that Sheriff could set up is own business, I would give grandma a car with driver so she can finally stop calling us day and night to drive her around, ...

What would be the perfect song for a first dance? So far my first choice would be Every Time I Close My Eyes by Babyface, second choice would be All My Life by K-Ci and JoJo and third choice could be Back At One by Brian McKnight. Today he asked why I changed my mind about marriage and stuff. I always said I found marriage a stupid tradition and that I did not believe in the use of the institution. Well I still don't believe in the institution of marriage because it was created as "social security" for the woman who gave birth the a child. It had the intention to bind the man to the wife and baby and make sure he had to feed and take care of them. That's totally irrelevant at current times because women make their own money and can also raise a child without the support of a husband.

Let me take this opportunity to congratulate Lolu for starting her own business called Panther Technologies! I'm sure you will succeed.

Writer's block

2008-11-12T23:19:00.003+01:00

Gus, the world uglies dog died. How sad! It was suffering from skin cancer for a while now and has last the final battle. The price money it won with the election was spend on chemotherapy, but unfortunately, it had no effect. I'm sure it's now running around freely in dog's heaven.

Today I read an article tittled "the future is brown". It states that in the near future, the population will be mixed. People are starting to date "out of their race" and it will result in a "chocolate color". I'm not complaining. People should open their eyes and explore new cultures. Plus mixing "races" might also be a good thing because it makes the genes stronger. When someone breads inside their own race, they might pass wrong genes from generation to generation, but when it is mixed with another type of genes, it might prevent the bad genes from continuing. Or something like that... I remember my biology teacher telling us something like this back in high school. Way back... Ages ago... Like in the middle ages!

I started writing my paper today. I'm having a serious writers block. After 5 pages, I had absolutely no idea what else I could write about. It was more like "type one character, delete two characters". Never used backspace and delete more than today. My subject is "hidden and visible shortcomings in sales". Anyone willing to help me out? Think I am going to change all Dutch expressions with the Latin variant, just to make it longer and act "smarter". Some more white lines in between, bigger font, more subdivisions... Lol creativity needs to save my ass!

We shall overcome...

2008-11-11T10:00:00.008+01:00

Today it is also Armistice Day. 90 years ago World War I ended. Over 20 million people found death in those horrifying 4 years. The end of this War was also the beginning of the new World War, mainly do to the "Diktat of Versailles". After the end of WWI, the winning side forced Germany into a heavy regime to pay back the damages. This weakened the whole country and allowed the NSDAP to grow stronger until Hitler got legally elected. So far my history lesson of the day! Time to wake up now.

President-elect Obama wants to over rule some of Bush's his decisions. It is a good thing because some of them are very important, for example drilling in nature reservoirs or stem cell research. Can't wait for it to turn January so Bush can get the hell out of the Oval Office!

Found this funny riddle online and I thought I should share it

Dear January,

how are February and March? April is not bad. Tell May, June and July that August, September and October got an accident in November.

Yours December

R.I.P Miriam Makeba

2008-11-10T14:18:00.004+01:00

Yesterday, November 9th, Miriam Makeba (also known as Mama Afrika) died after performing on a protest concert against the Italian Mafia. She was only 76 years old. Many may not know her, but she is known for her hit single Pata Pata. She always resisted to the Apartheid regime and moved to the United States because she could not sing freely in her home country South-Africa. After she married Black Power-activist Stokely Carmichael, she was no longer welcome in the States and was forced to move to Guinea. Nelson Mandela persuaded her to return to South Africa in 1990.

R.I.P
Miriam Makeba
March 4, 1932 - November 9, 2008

Did anyone of you see the latest South Park episode called About Last Night... It features Obama and McCain. They used the presidential elections as a cover up for a diamond robbery. South Park is so sarcastic and I adore it! Talking about sarcasm, they broadcast House MD again. Whoot whoot! Finally! I was all smiles when I bumped into an episode yesterday evening. It's such a cruel yet funny series.

I got some pictures of my great purchases yesterday. I'm sure Lolu will turn green of envy when she sees them... lol... But for now I continue humming: "My Guess boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do. One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you!"

Dreams

2008-11-09T01:55:00.005+01:00

I had this horrible dream yesterday. I was in the train and it got hit by another train. I was in the first wagon that got hit and it got off the rails. After the collusion, it fell down the hill, full speed ahead. I saw the end nearing and then ... I woke up bathing in sweat! I don't know why I dreamed it, but hell it was a creepy one.

Today I swore I would study. I did! A little bit... I wrote this document about Congo vs Uganda. It was about the right on self-defense exercised on another country's territory. 30 pages in this annoying font so I just roughly scanned my eyes over it. If the professor asks me a question, I will just Google the answer.

What else did I do today? Oh yes I found me old yellow Gameboy today! Do you still remember those? It were the first Gameboy's produced. They had this green screen and no color at all. Oh god, good old memories! I think mines about 12-13 years old. First game I got was Super Mario. So I popped it in and it still worked! So I started playing and playing... Before I realized it, hours had passed and I was still striving the reach a higher level! I forgot how addictive things like this could be!

Proposition 8

2008-11-07T16:52:00.006+01:00

I've always been complaining about our prime minister because of all the stupid things he said, but he is not alone. Berlusconi is a genius too when it comes to misplaced quotes. Today he congratulated Obama with his victory and called him "young, handsome, and tanned". Puhlease! Did he really have to say that? We all know he wanted McCain to win, but how can someone lower himself and make such a racist comment. He claimed it to be a joke, well mister Berlusconi, you are the joke!

Yesterday I had this conversation about proposition 8 with someone I know. Now this person is very religious and all so I knew his opinion about the subject. The only reason he could come up with is that the bible doesn't approve it. What the fuck?! Isn't religion supposed to be about accepting persons the way they are and not making exceptions? It's just a fucking book, written by and for people. How on earth can you deny people the pleasure and happiness to marry someone they love just because they have the same sex? That's not treating people equally, that is being narrow minded. I'm sure many of you may not agree, but we are in the 21st century and there is nothing wrong with same-sex love. Love is love so get over it!

I'm so glad this week is over because I am death tired. This morning I was only sleeping while brushing my teeth. But still I wanted to go to class because it is a really interesting subject. It's about international law and international organizations and I absolutely love it. It would be a perfect job for me, working for the United Nations. I would love to travel through Africa and go to all the conflict zones to intermediate.

Was at the library today and some guys where staring at my screen. I just hate when people do so. Never seen a laptop before? Well they kind of looked like Neanderthals so I could understand if they haven't... One of my msn contacts said I should put on a porn movie so they have something to look at! lol I would be expelled from school if I did! But it was a funny suggestion though.

"YES WE CAN"

2008-11-06T17:42:00.004+01:00

Only 50 years after segregation, there will be a black president in the United States. On November 4th, history was written. Some people compare him to J.F. Kennedy or M.L. King. Hopefully he doesn't end up as tragically as them. Maybe he won because he was black, but it is mostly a sign that they did not agree with the 8 year Republican hegemony under President Bush.

What I noticed was that McCain's Concession Speech was the best speech I heard from him this campaign. It sounded even more democratic than Obama's Acceptance Speech. Even though the Americans (including California) voted for a democrat, California still voted conservative on proposition 8. Proposition 8 was an amendment to the California Constitution that eliminated the newly-declared right of same-sex couples to marry. 52,5% voted in favor for proposition 8. So bad. How can you say to people who love each other that they cannot marry just because they have the same sex? Love is love...

Today mom and I went to this flower shop to get a flower for my neighbor who is being operated tomorrow. It was the yearly open door day and they offered all kind of treats and wine. I had this nice white wine. Feeling a bit dizzy.

Elections and democracy

2008-11-04T23:59:00.003+01:00

Who will become the 44th President of the United States of America. That's the question the whole world is asking. Everyone is sure Obama will get more votes, but so did Al Gore back in 2000 and yet Bush became President because he had more electors in the Electoral College. How does the system work? It is actually more like a race inside a race. Every state has a certain amount of electors. There are 538 electors, so whoever wins, that person has to score at least 270 electors. Most states have the "winner takes it all" principle. For example: California has 55 electors and it is almost certain Obama will win in that state. It doesn't matter if he wins with 1 vote more or 1.000.000 votes because the winner will take all the 55 votes. So this is something tricky. Most states have their own way of voting, only the "swing states" are very close. So whoever wins those states will most likely be the next president of the USA.

Over here in the West, we take democratic elections for normal. But for other parts of the world, it is an utopia. Some African examples of dictators who appropriated control after a coup or fake democratic elections. Examples are very easy to find. Campaoré from Burkina Faso, Biya from Cameroon, dos Santos from Angola, ...But what do most of those have in common? For starters, most claim to be a democracy, but in fact it is not. When you look at the Constitution (yes most have one, but as a future lawyer I know that it can be abused and read in a way no one would ever interpret it), you could conclude it is a free election. But what is the meaning of fear when people are openly brutalized? How can someone exercise their democratic rights to vote when they have to fear for bad consequences when the current leader will not be re-elected? Any election that is not free from fear, is not fair (dixit Sheriff).

Surprising news today. It was announced that Allen Iverson will play for the Detroit Pistons. I wanted him to play for the Miami Heat! Talking about the Heat, I feel another crappy season coming up. Right now they have a .333 score, almost as bad as last year when they ended last... Wade and teammates, it's time to wake up get your game together. We need the tittle back.

War in eastern Congo

2008-11-03T22:10:00.005+01:00

The language of the weapons

The east of the Congo is, roughly speaking, corroded for 12 years by a cruel war for its ground and fertile soil. The conflict has many facets, but finds its actual origin in the people assassination in neighboring country Rwanda, back in 1994.

After that and the following power seizure by the troops of the current Rwandan strong man Paul Kagame, there was a massive refugee flow to Congo.

The pictures of the enormous refugee camps in the district of Goma, where many people died of the impact of infection diseases such as cholera, have been burned on many people’s retina.

But among those Rwandan refugees were also many radical Hutu's, who have made themselves guilty to people assassination in their home country. The new regime in Kigali started in 1996 a cleaning operation in the refugee camps.

At the same time the regime of former Zairian dictator Mobutu Sese Seko appeared awfully weak. A year later rebel leader Laurent Désiré Kabila would march, in some months time, from eastern Congo to Kinshasa in the west of the country.

As for Mobutu, the only possibility he had was to take off as soon as possible. Kabila became the new strong man in Kinshasa, with the support of its Rwandan allies. In the east of the Congo the peace returned, unfortunately not for too long.

The “Rwandans” stir themselves

In 1998, Kabila gave the Tutsi in his government the outside guard. As from then, “Rwandan” became a curse word in the Congolese capital. Later, this would turn its back on Kinshasa, because promptly two new rebel movements arose in the east of the country, supported by respectively Rwanda and Uganda.

War violence burst again. The rebels, but also Uganda and Rwanda, could finance their war with the turnovers of the Congolese soil.

The Congolese government could hardly offer capacitance and had call for the support of Zimbabwe, Angola and Namibia.

During the period 2002-2003 peace agreements were signed which led to a true peace process, democratic elections in the Congo and a regime under the guidance of Joseph Kabila. The weapons seemed to be silent once and for all. Democracy yes, peace no.

The democratization process in Congo can be called a positive tale, but in the east the restlessness returned.

This time Laurent Nkunda and his rebel movement “Congrès National Pour la Défense du Peuple” (CNDP) raised their voices. Nkunda claims to represent the interests of the Congolese Tutsi population, but he also gets the support from Rwanda.

For its fueling, the CNCP can count on the regime of Paul Kagame in Kigali that it is also dominated by the Tutsi. According to some sources, there are also Rwandan troops on Congolese territory, but that is not confirmed by independent sources.

It is certain, however, that the over-populated Rwanda has the need for more agriculture ground and for that it looks in western direction. The presence of former Hutu-rebels form seems to be the ideal alibi for Kigali to fasten on the fight by means of Nkunda. The presence of minerals in the eastern Congolese soil have been nicely taken along.

How wealth can also mean poverty

The violence in eastern Congo has already made an estimated 5.5 million deadly victims: such as 250,000 Rwandan victims, 10 to 15,000 Congolese citizen deaths and such a 5.4 million indirect victims.

In other words, the major majority has not succumbed in under the war violence itself, but became the victim of infant mortality, epidemics, banal infections or malaria.

The region can perhaps be immensely rich under its soil, the Congolese population of North-Kivu undergoes only the negative impact of this wealth.

They came from the east

The Tutsi or Watutsi initially descend from eastern Africa, supposedly Ethiopia, and descended to Central-Africa in the 11th century. Today they live mainly in the area of the Great Lakes.

In the 16th century, the area Tutsi monarchies arose. The Tutsi were stock breeders and became the aristocratic class in current Rwanda and Burundi. Their king - the mwami - governed as an absolute monarch.

The ethnic tensions between the Tutsi and the local Hutu population are secular and are exploited during the colonial administration of the Belgians.

Even after the independence of Rwanda, Burundi and Congo, there have been regular conflicts. They frequently degenerated into true massacres where ten thousands or even hundred thousands of victims fell. The Rwandan people assassination of 1994 was the sad peak.

Believe

2008-10-26T18:36:00.010+01:00

Friday I took another way to class and I passed the school's library. There was this flyer that caught my attention. It was about summer courses at the University of California (UC Berkeley, UCLA or San Diego). Damn that would be something for me! It would be über pleasant to follow some summer classes for 6 weeks and really see what the campus life is like. Over here you don't have those big campus's with dorms, sport stadia, big university competitions in American football or basketball... Maybe I can inform myself about it after my first semester's exam results came in. It would just be this great opportunity to study something outside the classic law field plus it would look great on my curriculum vitea.

What is so cool and funky about using English? I mean, yes I often English myself too on pages like Blogger or Facebook, but mostly because my friends don't understand my native language, being Dutch. But I have some people on it that don't have one single native English speaking friend on their page and still they only write English because it is supposed to look "cool". To be honest, it doesn't look cool and especially when it's no English at all. Mostly it is just literally translated from Dutch to English so it doesn't make any sense. I'm not saying my English is perfect, far from, but if you want to act cool, clean up your act first. If not, it looks just foolish.

I was shocked when I listened to the news today. Last Friday, someone murdered the mother and brother of Jeniffer Hudson and kidnapped her nephew. So sad. May their souls rest in peace.

Also Friday Barack Obama quiet his campaign to visit his ill grandmother. Some people say it is a bad thing for him to do because this will give McCain the opportunity to close the gab a little bit more. I don't understand how people can think in terms of percentages when this might be the last chance he ever sees his ill grandmother?! What do they want? Do they want a gladiator as president? One that chooses the elections above the woman who raised him? Is that country still human?! Oh and anyone heard the amount of money the republicans spend on dressing Sarah "pit bull with lipstick" Palin? $150.000! Scandalous!

There is this song called Believe by Voyce Alexander that I have been listening to for some days now. Every time I listen to the lyrics, I have to close my eyes and think about my hubby. I can't imagine how empty I must feel inside if I didn't have him anymore. The world would still be spinning, but something inside me would be missing.

Sunday morning, getting up early
Putting on something casual
I'm not in a hurry
Walking around the streets
Catching a movie
Then back to the real world
Trying to do something
Still life can be lonely

The world is still spinning
Everything seems the same
But there is something inside
So hard to explain
The sun is still shining
And the birds are singing
But I can't deny there is something missing

Still I believe in a thing called love
Forever I believe that someday someone
Will show up and end the war
But I cannot believe that I am not yours anymore
I believe in a thing called faith
And miracles I believe that someday
I will forget what I was crying for
But I cannot believe that I am not yours anymore

Monday evening, sitting at the bar drinking
Getting to the bottom of my glass
Reflecting on the past, I'm thinking

The world is still spinning
Everything seems the same
But there is something inside
So hard to explain
The sun is still shining
And the birds are singing
But I can't deny there is something missing

Still I believe in a thing called love
Forever I believe that someday someone
Will show up and end the war
But I cannot believe that I am not yours anymore
I believe in a thing called faith
And miracles I believe that someday
I will forget what I was crying for
But I cannot believe that I am not yours anymore

My time to tease

2008-10-25T16:08:00.009+02:00

Co-incidence does exist! Yesterday Sheriff was asking things about Antwerp (and assuming it was this small town full of pensioned people). Little did he know that we have the 2nd most important harbor of Europe and 4th most important harbor of the world! So the answer on your question if we have water is yes we have. Today when I visited the news site, I saw that Antwerp was in the ‘Lonely Planet' top ten! This is the article accompanying the headline:

The international travel guide publisher Lonely Planet has added Antwerp to its prestigious list of the world’s ten most interesting cities. Each year Lonely Planet publishes a top ten of cities that are worth a visit during the coming twelve months.

Lonely Planet writes that Antwerp has a rich history and the port is city is the most underrated tourist destination in Belgium.

"Few places offer such an appealing mix of classic and modern features."

"Eclectic art nouveau houses right next to neo-classic villas and medieval castles provide a fantastic backdrop to the many bars and pavement cafés.”

Antwerp is in good company with cities such as Beirut, Chicago, Glasgow, Lissabon, Mexico City and Sao Paolo also featuring in the top ten.

Antwerpen in top tien beste steden

Het heeft even geduurd, maar Lonely Planet, de Britse bijbel voor de eigentijdse, onafhankelijke reiziger, heeft Antwerpen ontdekt. De stad wordt in de nieuwe gids, "Best in travel 2009", warm aanbevolen. Evenals landen als Sierra Leone en Kirgizië overigens. Met Glasgow, Chicago, Mexico Stad en Lissabon is Antwerpen "een van 's werelds tien beste steden" om volgend jaar te bezoeken.

Na vastgesteld te hebben dat België synoniem is met inwendige consumptie, doet de gids een ten dele succesvolle poging verder te kijken dan de clichés van bier, mosselen, friet en chocola.

Vooral van dat eerste kan het slecht afstand doen. Een van de beste ervaringen in Antwerpen is een "bedevaart" naar Bierhuis Kulminator en de zevenhonderd variaties in bier.

Of Antwerpen zit te wachten op een invasie van "only here for the beer"-Britten die van huis uit slechts twee soorten kennen, veel en teveel, is nog maar de vraag.

Steden als Praag en Dublin bewenen, als je tenminste de plaatselijke taxichauffeurs geloven moet, de goedkope vluchten die hun stad binnen het bereik hebben geplaatst van Engelse jongeren op zoek naar een bestemming voor vrijgezellenweekends.

Maar Antwerpens "mengeling van eeuwenoude steegjes en moderne gebouwen barstensvol clubs en winkels, de gelambrizeerde bars en cafés" kan niet langer genegeerd worden. "Antwerpen heeft, op het gebied van vertier, de juiste prioriteiten."

Bieren en mode

Naast de 200 "chips shops" die gezamenlijk "de Rubens van de frituurwereld" zijn en het "stunning" Antwerpen Centraal, raakt de gids niet uitgekeken op de zondagse markt in de Hoogstraat en haar cafés.

Maar behalve "'s werelds beste keuze aan bieren" (Lonely Planet kan het echt niet laten) is het de "explosie van modeontwerpers" die de stad van haar "ooit duffe imago" afgeholpen heeft.

De salons en winkels van de Zes van Antwerpen worden geroemd, evenals ModeNatie, het Vlaamse Modeinstituut en de Koninklijke Academie voor Schone Kunsten "die plaatselijke ontwerpers vanaf de jaren tachtig hebben voortgebracht".

Nietsontziende commentaar

Lonely Planet, altijd op de uitkijk naar nieuwe trends en ontwikkelingen, mag steden en regio’s met een traditonele, koekjestrommelachtige schoonheid graag overlaten aan de meer traditonele toeristenboekjes.

Het nietsontziende commentaar van de gids leidde eind vorige eeuw tot klachten in eigen land, toen het in kleurrijke termen over de talloze tekortkomingen schreef van Engelands horeca, weer en burgers.

Engeland was als vakantiebestemming alleen goed voor masochisten, concludeerden de schrijvers meer dan eens met zoveel woorden.

Metamorfose

Sindsdien heeft de gids een metamorfose ondergaan, hoewel het volgens Lonely Planet de Engelse steden zijn die onherkenbaar veranderden.

Zo werden in recente gidsen de postindustriële, Noord-Engelse steden even "onmisbaar" genoemd als Rome, Venetië en Florence, was Newcastle upon Tyne een toonvoorbeeld van de "wonderbaarlijke kracht van stadsvernieuwing", werd Leeds "Engelands Barcelona" en was Manchester "een van ’s lands spannendste en interessantste steden".

Geen van die Engelse steden wist de duizelingwekkende hoogte van de nieuwe editie te halen.

Antwerpen niet nieuw voor Britten

Dat de gids Antwerpen in haar top tien van steden van 2009 stopt zou voor de Britten, doorgaans ongeinteresseerd en onwetend als het gaat om Vlaanderen, niet nieuw moeten zijn.

Eerder repte de Sunday Times al over de stad als "een plaats van kunst en mode, gekke bars, cuisine van klasse en adembenemende gotische en barokke gebouwen".

Source: www. deredactie.be

Oh and Sheriff, Antwerp has a population of more than 500.000 inhabitants, that's 1/3 of Gambia's total population... in 1 town! So who's the little dwarf now? lOl! Yes, I know I'll get punished for saying this... Bring it on!!! Oh and since you check my blog 3 times a day, I can just say it this way: don't forget to upload my movie! And another thing, the picture you've sent me yesterday contained a virus (my virus scan deleted the file).

The saga continues

2008-10-22T18:35:00.003+02:00

The bad luck month continues! Today, I sprained my ankle while I was rushing to class. I suddenly felt this stinging pain around me ankle and upper part of my right foot. I got really nauseas and my vision became blurry. After walking on it, or at least an attempt to walk on it, my body produced enough endorphin to lower the pain, but now I am home and I can survey the true damage. My ankle is swollen and looking slightly blue, brown and purple already. Maybe I should just have gone home and put some ice on it instead of going to class and walking on it.

Today when I got to the parking lot at the station, I saw the spot where I was parked last week Thursday (the day of the car crash) was still available, yet I refused to park my car over there and I just drove to the end of the parking lot and dropped it there. It was a long walk to the rails, but no single braincell in my mind that even considered parking on that spot ever again! Even if I had to walk for miles...

About the car, the costs are not that high as we all expected. So I first planned to get me a 15" MacBook Pro, but instead I will buy a 13" MacBook and get my car fixed! Don't really need that big 15" screen anyway. The one I have is 15", but a smaller screen won't kill me and it would fit in more handbags! Cause the handbag I am using now is this super-sized maxi bag from Friis & Company because it didn't fit in the "normal" big sized bags. A smaller one on the other hand, will fit in it. That means more choice of handbags for me! And we all know us girls love their handbags! They are like an prolonging of our personality. Some go for flashy colors or big prints, other ones for designer bags... And in that different taste, we show a large part of our personality.

Parents are just so evil and careless! When I politely asked my mother if she could bring me some water because it hurts a lot to walk on my ankle, she just said I should get my lazy bones out of the sofa myself! No water for me then, I will have to become dehydrated.

I just found out my neighbor from across the street died yesterday. She was already old and lost a lot of weight due to chemotherapy, but yet it is always a shock to find out that someone who you know has left this life and went to another place...

Tomorrow class is canceled because the professor is somewhere in Asia (I thought Beijing for some medical law congress). Too bad right? Hell nah! I could always use an extra day of "vacation". I could use this time to repeat some previous classes. Yet again, I gave up my promise I made at the start of the new year. Every year I swear to myself I would repeat my courses... but yet again, I gave up after the second week. So far I've only studied criminal law completely, some part of contract law and hmm that's it... I noticed that subjects I am really interested in, for example International Law and the Law of International Organisations, are easier to follow and memorise.

Going to put a new cold compress on my ankle. Take care everyone.

October, most horrible month of the year

2008-10-18T15:26:00.007+02:00

October must be, hands down, the most horrible month of 2008 and hasn't even finished. Fourteen more days to go, oh boy, what more can go wrong.

Second, my lappie is really going from bad to horrible. More and more lines appear, and now it shows those lines that you get when you put your phone next to your screen while there is an incoming call. I doubt it will last any longer. I was planning to order the new MacBook as an early Xmas gift to myself, but as long as they don't find the driver who caused the crash, I will have to put it on hold because I will have to pay the reparations myself.

My car, oh boy! I always took care of her like she was my baby. (Notice I use "she" and not "it"). Making sure there were no scratches, bumps, or whatever on her! And just because of this fucking lame ass foolish son of a bitch truck driver, my baby is destroyed! First the front: the lights shields are fractured, the whole hood is one big scratch, due to the big impact the collusion had, my left side has a huge bump and my truck is misplaced. Hopefully there is no serious damage to the hanging or the engine and radiation system. Cause this was a hit and run, the criminal is unidentified, which includes that we have no one to turn to with an insurance claim. In other words, we gotta pay our own reparation costs because the insurance doesn't cover it. Let's hope the police, for once, does what it is supposed to do: find the criminal who did this!

Yesterday I was just too depressed to go to class. Neither could I sleep. Everytime I closed my eyes, I saw the image of my crushed car in front of my eyes. All I wanted to do was yell, cry and punch someone/something. But back to yesterday, I decided to go for a movie marathon. First movie I watched was Stomp The Yard. Brainless dance movie that required zero intelligence and concentration, just staring at muscled black guys who can dance. Then I switched to Blood Diamond. Now, I saw this movie a couple of times before and it is a nice on, but not as great as I always expected. Praise the Lord for creating mr. Hounsou though! Next up was Amistad. I just adore this movie. It's a sad one but it is magnificent. Then I put on The Pelican Brief, Cry Freedom (one of the best movies ever made), Tsosti, Bullet Boy and Life and Lyrics (both starring Ashley Walters, better known as Asher D from So Solid Crew). I finished with an episode of Dawson's Creek. Can you believe it? They are replaying all those old episodes all over again! Talking about milking dry... lOl. It reminded me of my junior high days when this series was so popular! Sweet old memories, even though I would never want to go back to those days!

I know I am a bit too late, but Chris, happy birthday and you'll get your present when I'm in NYC! That's a promise.

Why me?!

2008-10-16T20:39:00.004+02:00

All I want to do right now is just cry. Today when I returned from university, I saw my car was damaged. I immediately called the cops and reported the crime. They called an expert to check out what has happened. The expert told us that this was caused by a truck. But since we don't know who caused it, I will probably have to pay for the reparations myself because my insurance doesn't cover these kind of damages. I saved years for this car, I took care of it like it was my baby and now, "thanks" to the fault of some looser, I can pay some thousands of euros (something I don't have) to fix my sweetie! So as long as I am still unceirtain weither I have to pay the costs or not, I will have to put my Macbook on hold. Too bad because the new design looks tight.

Lots of drama

2008-10-14T15:56:00.002+02:00

Mind the sarcasm in the tittle... This morning I was on my way to class when I spotted some girl I knew from back in the days when I used to spend every free second at the horse stables. She told me she was preggers. The kid is only 15 y.o. and she had a damn good reason (mind the sarcasm again) why she got this way. She told me she had sex with her boyfriend some weeks ago and he insisted they do it without condom because he assured her she can't get preggers if he didn't release inside her. I couldn't believe my ears! (Okay, I could because I have had some men who claimed it too and they all were shown the door. ) But what causes this ignorance? Is it the lack of sexual education? Je m'enfoutism? All I know is that in those 12 years of obligated education, we only had one lesson of sexual education. I believe it was at the 5-6th grade. At that age, 11 years old, and in those conditions, a full classroom, it gets kind of awkward. I don't remember they gave us much info about how you could get pregnant and things like that. She lady only told us about our period and voice changes for the men, or how to deal of ending relationships... HIV, AIDS, STDs and pregnancy? Nah none of that. Never they told one word that pre-cum can make a girl preggers. And be assured: it can! Plus I don't see the big deal. I mean, what is so uncool about condoms? Feeling less? C'mon, the rubber is so thin and the materials are so developed that you barely notice it. Plus if you feel a bit less, you reach the "it"-moment less fast, which means you can go on longer and have more fun! And even if you feel less, the benefits, being protected against HIV, AIDS and STDs, are much higer than the small disadvantage! Another excuse I often heard is that they are ashamed to go buy some at the local pharmacy. Abeg, if you claim to be old enough to have sex, then also be adult enough to get the condoms, for your own safety!

I know everyone is going to hate me right now, but next Friday evening (not this Friday), I'll be lying in my hubbies strong arms. Feeling his heartbeat, feeling his breathing in my neck, hearing his sweet whispers... Jealous already? Pictures guaranteed for sure! Watch my Facebook album!

I feel like high school again at the moment. We got homework! Can you believe it? Homework! Make exercise 8+9+10. I didn't even bought the excise book yet! Make the damn thing yourself and be happy I drag my lazy ass to your class every time. First, we ain't obligated to attend class, and if we do, we get punished for it cause we have to make exercises!

There is probably some logic explanation for it, but when you are single, no one is interested in you because they all have someone else that moment. Once you found someone, in my case this great guy called Sheriff, all of the sudden you get loads of love declarations from the strangest people that have known you for years and never showed any interest. What's the deal? Is it the hunting or do guys like it to steal other guy's girls? Or do they consider it safe because they know they won't succeed? Whatever it may be, quit it, y'all are too late!

Gon wrap it up because I need to write my homework. Don't dare to laugh!

Update

2008-10-13T20:33:00.030+02:00

As I told you in my last post, I had a shopping trip on Saturdays. I didn't really buy that much. Shockers right? I only bought Guess shoes and scarf and a Versace jeans. About the jeans, the original price was 4.000 euro. Yes you read it correctly, 4.000... But I had a 70% reduction! A true bargain!

Today I read an article about the Templo Expiatorio de la Sagrada Família in Barcelona. Immediately, I felt this feeling of nostalgia. I love this city so much. Been there for quite a long time and I truly felt in love with Gaudí. Casa Vicens, Palau Güell, Casa Calvet, Casa Batlló, Casa Milà and the beautiful Park Güell. I truly adore the Casa Batlló (located at 43, Passeig de Gràcia). It is truly exceptional. And Park Güell! Oh man how many hours did I spend in that beautiful park! I can't count them anymore! I think this is the only European town I see myself living in...

Picture 1: Casa Vicens, 24 Carrer de les Carolines
Picture 2: Palau Güell, 3-5 Nou de la Rambla
Picture 3: Casa Calvet, 1900 Carrer de Casp 48
Picture 4: Casa Batlló, 43 Passeig de Gràcia
Picture 5: Casa Milà, 92 Passeig de Gràcia
Picture 6: Sagrada Família, 401 C. Mallorca
Pictures 7-19: Park Güell, district Gràcia

How a day that started quite well can become a living hell

2008-10-11T00:17:00.002+02:00

Today started quite well. Woke up at 6.30 am, took a bath, washed my hair and prepared for class. Class itself was quite interesting I must say and for once, I didn't miss my first train. I got home around 1.30 pm, had a quick bite, a baguette with tomato, mozzarella and basil. Afterwards I went to do some shopping. This was the first stage of a horrible day.

Shopping: I saw this cute ass bra in a magazine and decided to go to the shop to buy it. The shop where I normally buy my bra's didn't have it so I went to another one. There I asked for my size (being an European 65D) and you know what she answered me "that is not your size". I was really shocked! I know my own body and the bra size she suggested is way too big for me, both outline as cup size, and not just one size bigger, but several sizes bigger (75F). I was like "you know what, never mind, you can keep it but I will never put a single feet in this store and be sure there will be bad mouth to mouth advertisement". I was really affronted. First, I was wearing a loose t-shirt, second, I was wearing a patted bra. But nah, I needed a bra that was way too big,according to her!

Next was my wreck less driving mother who gave me almost some heart attacks. I would not be surprised if one day she gets home with severe damage to the bodywork of my car! She is always like "Oh gotta push the gas very fast or otherwise I won't be able to sneak between two cars (even though there is no room to sneak in between them)". My reaction was "When you have to push the gas very fast or you will be too late, then it means you can't cross it in a safe way so you got to wait until the street is free!".

Latest fucked up thing was missing a phone call from my hubby. 20 minutes before he called me, I switched my phone to silence and went to bed because I was in pain. My neck and shoulders are completely blocked and my IUD is killing me. But most of all, I'm scared that I won't be seeing my baby any time soon because some bad things came in between...

Ok excuse me for my language... Kinda pissed off today so I better stop complaining and get my ass back to bed again, hoping a better day will come tomorrow.

Night y'all and sorry Sheriff. Really wanted to hear your voice again.

Unfair!

2008-10-08T17:59:00.007+02:00

I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!!! Each and every time, Sheriff succeeds to pull my legs. And silly I believes him ever damn time! Each time I tell myself he won't fool me again, but before I realize it, I'm busted again. And the thing is that he stays this serious! I could never keep it up that long! But one day, I'll get my revenge... Only don't know when, where and how... (So if anyone got some ideas, inspiration is always welcome). Won't get into details about what has happened, but I can assure you that if I hadn't been in class at that time, I would have been hysterically yelling and crying! So yes Sheriff, be scared! Very scared cause my revenge will be sweet... Very sweet...

Sometimes I wonder why I even go to class. The prof we had today (and also the one we had yesterday) just stand in front of the class and read what is in their book. It's like "C'mon, I had to wake up at 6 am to get here on time. Can you please say something that is not in your book? I can read what you wrote myself at home too, I don't have to come to class for that! I'm a big girl now and I don't need a bed time story read to me!". I'm going to give them one more chance, if he starts reading again, I'm out for the rest of the semester and I'll study his stuff on my own! That way I can sleep longer and study at moment I prefer i.e. at night.

I'm already mentally preparing myself for the stock selling of Saturday... Gon be such an emotional happening lOl! Nah I'm really looking forward to it because I don't have many clothes left in my closet at the moment. Most clothes are some years old and out of fashion or show sign of extensive wearing. Only my favorite ones (e.g. my D&G hoodies, some wrap around sweaters, etc.) are still looking classy as ever. So can't wait to fill my closet again with trendy new stuff. And no I am not a snob or a brand addict! The tissues used have such a good quality that they can go on for years. So in the end, the price is worth it! For example: I have this cute ass purple D&G t-shirt that costs 130 euro. I have it 5 years by now and I can still wear it. Some of my friends say I am crazy but they have to buy a new one every year because theirs lost color or model. So 30 x 5 = 150... This means mines is cheaper!

This past week(s), the US presidential campaigns got very tense. Sarah Palin, the self-proclaimed pit bull with lipstick, linked Obama with terrorism. She "forgot" to mention that senator Obama was only 8 y.o. when Bill Ayers started his bombing campaign, that he also condemned the actions and that Ayers is a professor now... Or McCain and his views on economics! First he said the economic base was still solid (Is that so? Then why are banks going bankrupt? Why do people loose their houses?) and that Obama was "missing in action" when they needed to vote the Paulson plan... He found that Obama didn't do everything in his power to get it voted. Small note, he "forgot" to mention that many conservative Republicans were also against it because they don't approve governmental interventions... The current lack of regulations in the financial market, a legacy of the Republican policy, has been named the origin of the financial crisis by many specialists.

My stomach hurts like hell. I ate too much coconut cake! But damn it tastes sooooo good! Let me share you my recipe.

Ingredients
4 eggs
250gr flour
250gr sugar
2 packets of vanilla sugar
160gr butter
100gr coconut powder

Preparation
Mix the butter, egg yolk, sugar and vanilla sugar until you get one homogeneous mass. Fluff up the egg white and add it, together with the flour and coconut. Mix it until it is one homogeneous mass again. Afterwards butter your cake form, straw some flour on the sides and bottom and put in your paste. Put it in the oven for about 50 minutes and there you go: a lovely cake!

A quiet day

2008-10-06T15:35:00.004+02:00

It's like a national public sector strike day today. So this means there will be actions in the public transportation system too... Result: I'm forced to stay home from class. How bad... Can't they strike for the whole week? Lazy me I know. But I'm a student, what would you expect?

Normally I would have went to the airport next weekend because Sheriff is on transit in BXL airport. But his hours are impossible for me to get there... It's just so sad because I was so looking forward to it. Guess I'll have to wait until October 25-26-27, when he will be down here in Antwerp. Such a bummer... Hopefully time flies by because it is really hard, this missing...

But since I can't go see Sheriff, I'm going to a stock selling! Paradise on earth. All these brands like Dolce & Gabbana (my favorite), Versace, Armani, Guess,... on stock prices plus an extra reduction given by my mom's firm! Guess I'll have to do a lot of stuffing when I return... Because I wont return with only one thing! It'll be dozens of things and I all have to get them in my closet! Go figure! But what I need: a designer handbag (Vuitton maybe?), designer sunglasses (YSL or Dior?), watch (Guess?), jeans and cute ass tops (D&G?) and a dress (Versace?). Can't wait!

One of my nails broke off today. My 3 cm long "cat nails", as my mom used to call them, are gone! Cries... I must confess it is much easier to type with short nails though... But it looks less feminine. Talking about feminine, I saw this great bra. Gon buy it next Friday after class. I can't help it but I am addicted to bra's. Each season I have at least one new one... I must have more than 20 bra's in my closet... And I mostly wear my did-you-get-silicone-implants-bra. I just love that bra...

I'm considering buying a MacBook because my lappie's screen is messed up. Problem is that we all have Windows over here and no programs for OS. But I don't want Windows Vista. Worked with it once it is really crappy. Vista is cheaper though... Apple on the other hand, got a much nicer design. The eye wants something too you know... Just gon think about it. Might buy one in NYC since it's cheaper there.

I came to the conclusion that studying law really messes up my brains! Yesterday I was taling to someone and he said like "let me judge that" and I was like "Nemo iudex in causa sua", instead of just saying that he can't be the judge since he is one of the parties. It's crazy. I never thought I would get into this law thing this deep. I always saw it as just a studies because I didn't have anything else in mind... But now I am using these strange Latin adagias, even in the normal day life...

Oh boy I am addicted to this new Raphael Saadiq song Never Give You Up... Been humming it all weekend long. Where are the Tony! Toni! Toné! days... Or when D'Angelo was still making great music... Oh my gosh, I so miss these days! Sweet ol' memories!

Nominees for BEST ALBUM 2008

2008-10-02T20:45:00.002+02:00

I know there are still 3 months left, but I think already say that I have the only two candidates for the category best album. It'll be a tie between Love Behind the Melody by Raheem Devaughn and The Way I See It by Raphael Saadiq.

Best track is Never Give You Up. Amazing song that reminds me of the old soul/jazz/blues vibes. Enjoy!

Must hear: Friday (Shut the Club Down)

First days of the week

2008-09-30T13:05:00.002+02:00

Perfect start of the week. After a 3 hours long, boring and fatiguing course, I was on my way home when it started to rain and I forgot my umbrella. Hate getting wet cause it ruins my nicely brushed hair! It makes it curly and stuff... When I came home, I just wanted to get back to bed to catch up some sleep, until I saw a note that my cousin would come over cause there was something wrong with her internet. Bleh! Means I had to stay up for someone I can't stand (you can't choose your family unfortunately). So I waited and waited... and she didn't even show up! Was kinda pissed off cause I love sleeping!

Luckily my hubby kept me company while I was just waiting there for someone who wouldn't show up. He gave me a pretty long to-do list though (yes Sheriff, 11 things is a lot!) but I got a cam session as a thank you! Ain't that sweet of him? lOl. It's always funny to see his bright face with the big smile, even though his studio walls give me a head ache.

Today I had to wake up at 6 am to catch the 7 o'clock train. Always fun to be dropped in a full to the brim train where you have to stand for the whole trip! People stepping or your feet, handbags slapped to your face (that's the downside of being only 5-3 in this big men's world), ... 8.30-10.30 class was quite exhausting cause the prof was on full force (at this damn early hour where I was still trying to wake up). Second prof was horrible! He started a sentence and half way through his sentence, he started a new one. This is a torture for a "parrot" like me. When I take notes, I just type what the guy says, literally. So when he starts a new one without finishing the old one, my notes are a big joke! The worst thing is that this guy refuses to use books so all you have are your own notes. Lord knows how my exam marks will be...

So next week Monday the train drivers are going on strike, which means I wont be able to get to class. Unless I go by car which is suicide cause they drive like nut people over here! So I'll just be spending a sweet and relaxed Monday at home.

Gotta bounce now cause class will start soon.

Tom Ford

2008-09-28T18:11:00.005+02:00

Weekend! Some people live only two days a week: Saturdays and Sundays. The other 5 days are just a burden, something you have to struggle your way through. I am one of those few people. Back in high school, I really hated normal week days. Going to class and all of that. When I entered University three years ago, I started to like the normal days too, but still there is nothing more pleasant than a weekend. Especially a Saturday. Waking up at your own rhythm, going shopping,... Heaven on earth for a girl.

Talking about shopping: I got two new perfumes! Black Orchid and White Patchouli, both by Tom Ford. I love them both! Black Orchid is more a heavy scent, perfect for the "black dress" evenings. White Patchouli on the other hand is suitable for the "jeans, trendy bag and sunglasses" trips to town. They are kind of expensive, but it's a must-have for every woman. Plus these fragrances are so heavy that you only need one drop, to smell good all day long (and even longer!). And because the eye wants something too, the frankincense comes in a classy design (don't we all love those beautiful glass bottles, girls?).

Lol yh I hear you think "how full most her cosmetics box be"? Well I must say I got quite some fragrances. I mostly share them with my mom. My favorite ones so far are:

Black XS by Paco Rabanne
I Just love this one. It's girly, yet strong and different.
White Patchouli by Tom Ford
Unique because not much stores sell it, had to look hard to find it.
Donna Karan New York by Donna Karan
It smells as luxurious as the looks of the bottle!

I made a cake today. Tasted great, but I used a little bit too much coconut... The smell was heavenly! You could smell it from the kitchen to the living room, dining room and even the bedrooms... No I don't share so don't even ask! Lol!

Wishing y'all a nice week ahead

Customization!

2008-09-26T18:37:00.007+02:00

I found this cute ass, bling bling, yet kitschy FF theme. Found an apple-like one too but since I also have Safari on my laptop, it would be boring to use two look-alikes. I know, I know, it's just a web browser, but still, the eye wants something too. I always want my stuff to look flashy and not standard like everyone else... Too bad I don't know how to make it myself, because I would love a customized one made by me!

I survived the first week of the new academic year. Barely, but I survived... My body is not used to function during mornings. It is programmed to wake up at noon, be active around 2mp, full force around 10pm and breakdown around 3am... But now it has to wake up at 6am, active at 8.30am (plus be on full force straight away) and it can't break down before 9pm. It's really torturing. I wonder how long this can go on. I'm sure that in some weeks time, I'll need a whole weekend to recuperate.

Received some irritated looks this morning. Was on my way to the station and it was crowded so had to show patience. To chill a bit (yelling at the other drivers doesn't work anyway), I switched on my radio. Searched for a good CD, turned the volume a bit higher and sung along. I must say I received some not-so-friendly looks. Ok, maybe the music was a bit loud... 6 woofers in my car and volume on 21... I would get agitated too I guess... But the whole town could enjoy the Bizzy Body Remix by P-Square. Ain't I friendly?!

Today class was done a bit earlier then expected so I decided to go on elephant hunt. Nah don't start laughing and thinking I lost my mind! From September till November, there are around 70 elephants displayed in Antwerp. This to make people aware that the elephant is an animal species who's threatened. Later on, the statutes will be put up for auction an dthe money will be used to rescue the elephants. So enjoy my trip in images! PS: my favorite one was the Happinez Yin & Yang Black.

60 seconds

2008-09-24T17:58:00.006+02:00

Exactly sixty seconds... That's how long one minute takes. Though, sometimes, it looks like ages. Today was one of those days. I was exhausted and wanted to go home as soon as possible. So I was staring at my watch the whole day long. Time was crawling by... Like a snail... S...e...c...o...n...d after s...e...c...o...n...d. You got my point, right? Time just didn't want to pass. After a while I decided to open PhotoShop. The guy staring at my screen gave me a strange look and I gave him the "mind your own damn business"-look. The prof decided to end early today. Mehn was I happy!

My back is still killing me. Yesterday, I decided to pick up some books. Not all of them because that would be too heavy. So I decided to take five books. Pfff! Heavy! It was already five kg. That's one kg a book. From now on they print the books recto/verso. How heavy would they have been if they only were printed recto? ten kg?! So now my shoulder is dislocated from the heavy handbag, back is killing me and my heart, well my heart was in my boots... I will never be able to stuff all of that in my head... I will never be able to stuff all those pages in my head... And I didn't even get all my books. Much more to come! Oh boy...

October 11th, a big red mark in my agenda. I just received confirmation from Brussels Airport that Sheriff can leave the airport while he is in transit... Yay! I'll only be able to see him for a couple of hours, but that's already more than enough! Every second I can spend with him is a blessing. Now we are at him: some days ago I was listening to a love song that I heard millions of times before, but I never had the "it" feeling. Until yesterday! I was listening to it again and all of the sudden I got chills running down my spine. Smoochy love songs only have a meaning when you have someone special in mind. I know that you had some bad experiences with Nigerians, but still, this one is for you. PS: get well soon!

I dey miss you die
I dey beg you
make you try to understand
there's no one like you
and I wonder why
Why it is any time I dey with another person
I dey think about you
Now I realise
I dey think about you everyday
I truly no get anything to say
I really think I'm going insane

There is this TV-show on television for some weeks now. It is a Flemish production called Voorbij de grens (can be translated as beyond limits). It is about ten adults who each have a disability. Some are nearly blind, other ones paralized or missing legs/arms. Yet another person has the Wiedeman-Rautenstrauch syndrome, and the other person is deaf. Each one has his own way to handle the disability. Some have accepted it, other will never be able to accept it. But yet these ten persons dared a trip to Nicaragua where they climb the highest mountain, enter the jungle... Last episode you saw how a paralised woman, Anita, was strugling to get on the mountain. Almost pulling herself up, only using the strength of her arms. She was exhaused and suffering, yet she refused to give up. Or this other person, Sam, who was born with only short arms and legs (no hands nor feet). He went, literally, beyond his limits and he crashed. But they all have one thing in common: the will to fight, to show they are not less than a normal person. And they succeed to do so because they work together as a team. It is truly admirable what they did and the way they did it. Nuff respect!

When something is bugging you...

2008-09-22T22:00:00.003+02:00

... you need to get it of your chest. And that's what I am going to do.

There was this girl I was friends with for over 3 years. I was there for her when she needed advise about one of her boyfriends. Yes "one of"... She had this "one true love" in NYC, but while he was over there, she took the time to get into bed with almost every black guy over here. True love my ass... And when she thought he was cheating on her, she was all crying and shocked he could do that to her! Abeg... He was busy earning money to support him and his mother, so is it that hard to be less egocentric and understand that the guy needs someone who supports him and not someone who expects a daily 2-hour call? Where was I? Yes right, we were friends for over 3 years and some months ago, all of the sudden I was not good enough anymore. Without any reason... Childish right?! But heck, who cares. Finally I can stop wasting my time on her. One of the reasons why I don't have many female friends! They always think they are better than you. Ok, fine, sometimes you find a great girl who becomes something closer then a friend, more like a sister... Ain't that right Lolu?
PS: if you feel intimidated or visualized right now, you can either make a scene or bow your head and realize what a crappy friend you have been. You'll probably prefer to make a scene out of it, maybe even write a song to diss me, calling me a bitch and things like that... But hey it took you 3 years to figure out I'm a bitch?!

My hubby got his own blog now and he dedicated a large part of his first entry to me! I'm all blushing right now and I'm so proud of my talented, young, adventurous, smart, outspoken, considerate, clever, carrying and teddy bear looking boyfriend. Girls, you can read, learn and listen but you can't touch! That's my hubby right there!

First day of the new academic year was amazing... because I didn't go! Hah! The actual classes start on Tuesday and I got a morning class so I need to get my ass up at 6am to catch my 7am train. Mehn! I'm not really a morning bird so it will be a real torture for me. Normally I'm going to bed around that time... Great news is that I normally only have 2 hours of class that day (if my predictions are correct). So I gotta get up at 6, take my train, attend 2 hours of class, go back home... If I'm lucky, I'll be home around 12... 6 hours away from home (and my bed) for a two hour class. "Public transport: fast and easy", my ass! Antwerp City is only 30 km away from where I live, but yet ut takes me around an hour to get there. 30-40 minutes on the train (not included the usual delays), a 20 minute walk to my university (the way back is always 5 minutes faster because I don't want to miss my train) and arriving there 30 minutes too early because if I would take a later train, I would be 5 minutes too late. Horrible isn't it? I'm complaining about this for 3 years now and I will keep doing it until I am graduated! This is not an efficient time management!

Sheriff just pulled a shocked face when I told him about how I wrote my book reviews in high school. I'll share the secret. Every time we had a book review to write, I made sure I choose a book that had a movie remake. So instead of spending days on reading the book, I watched the movie and wrote the review! But hey, I didn't end up that bad, now did I? It's an old trick. Students before me used it, I used it and I'm sure students after me are also using it. What's the point of writing book reviews anyway? Let the pro's handle that. They are paid to do so and they are much better at it than us students are! (Excuse out of laziness)

Today it was the first day of fall. Together with winter, this is my less favorite season. It means the days get shorter and the trees go bald. The roads and gardens will be full of brown and orange leaves... It has this sad feeling... It can be romantic too though! You'll stay in bed with your loved one much longer than you do when the sun is shining, you lay close, carress each other, have a long conversation while sharing kisses once in a while... You have breakfast on bed and afterwards you go out to the park for a long walk. You can smell the nature because it rained last night. You hear the birds flying over, on their way to a warmer place...

And that is where I am going too... A warmer place called "my bed"... A place where I can dream about the guy that fills my heart with joy, day after day. Love you S!

The importance of artwork

2008-09-21T23:13:00.009+02:00

Tomorrow it will be the first day of the new Academic year and, same as last year, I'm going to skip it. It is über ridiculous that I would take the train to Antwerp, ok it is only 30 minutes, just to pick up my college schedule, which can be found on blackboard.

Today I downloaded the new Joe album and I am kind of disappointed for two different reasons.
I always loved the guy's music. It's a fantastic cross between R&B and smooth vibes. Great music to listen to when you want to spend a romantic night with your sweetie (even though I still prefer D'Angelo for that). But this album is crap! There wasn't a single good song on it. Joe Thomas, New Man a big disappointment music-like.

And also the CD-cover sucks big time. Hopefully it is not the definite version. I mean, a crappy damask background in an ugly brown color and some horrible brushing-away around the head. Then a red line (who doesn't match the brown damask) and a black text with a standard yellow inner glow/bevel and emboss. The sunglasses with this non-natural glaze and bad/forgotten details, especially the left glass.

So what qualities does a good CD-cover need to have? Can't say there is a standard road to success. One time a simple and clean album cover can do the trick, the other time a flashy and catchy is the way to go.

Let me guide you through some great CD-covers. The first one I want to discuss is Hotel Impala (Baloji). It has a clean broken white background with his face painted on it. The colors are chosen very well. They are all significant for the African continent. The font is kept neutral and simple so the face gets all the attention. The guy who made this true piece of art is Pablo Gonzalez. The cover is inspired by His California Album by Bobby Blue Bland. Baloji wanted the cover to be simple, something which he succeeded, and the inside to be colorful, something in which he succeeded too. The cover matches the concept this CD was based on so I would definitely give it a 4 star rating.

Next up is The Birth of Cornelius (Corneille). This album cover is pure class. His face is clearly PhotoShopped, but it is done flawlessly! Use of colors is a big thumbs up. Simple gray color range that matches the jacket he is wearing. And the purple scarf looks so soft and it breaks the hard gray by gives the image this warm feeling. The medallion and grungy effects, together with the tissue of the jacket completes the old portrait-look. 3 and a half star for this classy and sophisticated look.

Erykah Badu. If you know her music, you will also know that you can't put her in a box. She has different influences and her music has some strange twists once in a while. So is her artwork. It's different, colorful and yet controversial. If you look closely to her latest CD-cover, New Amerykah Part One (4th World War), you will notice the hand with the chains (a symbol she frequently uses), but also foetuses, a plane dropping a bomb, guns,... The designer really thought carefully about this and he portrayed her concept about America in a subtle way. You really have to look closely to see what it is all about. Hands down one of the best album covers I've ever seen so I will give it 5 stars.

M.I.A. She's this vivid girl from Sri Lanka with her catchy music that can get everyone up their feet and shake what your momma gave you. Her artwork is just as crazy as her music! The colors are too bright, the shapes are too mind blowing,... It is one masterly unorganized organised (contradiction in terminis, I know) artwork, that shows that the designer thought about this concept for longer than 1 second! Everyone can make trashy things, but it is a true art to make something as kicthy as this and still succeeded to actually make it work! I give it 4 stars.

Nigger, that's how Nasir Jones initially wanted to call his latest album. It was so controversial that he had to change it. But as Nas said "the people will always know what the real title of this album is and what to call it." The cover is kept dark and grungy, yet simple so all the attention would be drawn onto his back with the N. This N is created by falligation scars as a reference to the racial slur and how slaves were tortured. The scars look a bit too "made", but the overall effect does raise the desired emotions this image in created for. A 3 and a half star for this one.